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“Undress,” he repeats.
I tug the dress over my head, not bothering to cover myself because he’s seen me naked more than I care to remember. I slide into bed, turning my back to him. A minute later, he slides down behind me and hooks an arm around my waist, burying his nose into my hair and inhaling. It’s weird behaviour, but I don’t question it because I need him to need me, and if the scent of Shea butter or lime basil keeps me alive, then he can sniff away.
His erection presses against my arse and I think about moving away. He didn’t react well when he woke up this morning touching me up like a condemned man, but I take a chance and fidget innocently, causing his breathing to hitch. I smile to myself and do it again. This time, he grips my hip, digging his fingers into the soft skin, and I wince. “Keep still, sladost. You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”
“Don’t you want to know?” I whisper.
“Know what?”
“What it’s like to fuck someone else?”
A small laugh escapes him. “You think I don’t have sex?”
“Not with anyone like me,” I say, sounding more confident than I feel. I’ve never had to seduce a man, especially not to keep myself alive.
He laughs a little louder. “And what’s so special about you?”
I turn to face him, and he eyes me cautiously. “I smell like Lara.”
His hand darts out, wrapping around my neck and squeezing hard, around the same time his eyes change from amused to deadly. He pushes up until he’s above me, adding more weight to the pressure on my throat, making it difficult to breathe. I lay still, forcing myself not to fight. Instead, I stare into his eyes. He’s panting heavily, and his expression is mixed with pain and anger. “Don’t fucking say her name,” he spits.
My hands grip the sheets, twisting them as white dots dance around, blurring my vision. “You’re not Lara . . . you never will be.”
Panic takes over and I twist against him, bringing my knees up either side of him and trying to force him off me. He looks down between us where his erection is pressing at my entrance, and the only thing stopping him entering me is his boxer shorts. He releases my throat, and I gasp desperately, placing my own hands there and rubbing the skin.
Before I’m fully recovered, he grips my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine. I don’t push him away as his hunger controls him. He rubs himself against my core, a moan escaping him, then he suddenly pulls back. “Sleep,” he snaps, climbing from me and turning away.
I stare at his back. I should hate him, and deep down I do . . . but,fuck, that was hot.
IVAN
I lie awake, making sure to keep my back to her. I can’t hear her light snores, which means she’s probably awake too. I feel like she’s some sort of test, or maybe that’s just what I’ve made her. She’s not Lara, I can’t even kid myself that she is, but she smells good like her and she’s warm like her. My cock twitches again. I want her so badly, and I don’t know if it’s because she’s Grace or because I’m trying to kid myself that she’s Lara.
I throw the sheets back on a sigh and head out to the balcony. It’s cool out here, which might do me some good. Minutes pass before I hear the soft padding of Grace’s feet across the slate tiles. I resist the urge to yell at her to stay away, which makes me want to laugh because it’s me making her stay and it’s me making her shower in Lara’s scent. Fuck, it’s messed up.
She rests her hands on the rail, her little finger almost touching my own. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I was out of order.”
After a few silent minutes, I ask, “Have you ever been in love, Grace?”
“Yes.”
I wait for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t. “Where is he now?”
“How do you know it was a man?” she asks.
I smirk. “The way your body reacts to mine. You’re straight.”
The moonlight picks up the blush on her cheeks. “Nick. He was my one true love,” she announces proudly.
“Let me guess, he left you for someone else?”
She shakes her head, then shrugs. “I mean, he left but not for anyone else. Will you tell me about her?”
“No,” I say firmly.
“It might help.”
“I don’t see how.”
