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“We’ve been friends a long time. There’s a small group of us who have worked for you under the radar for some time. None of us liked Maxim or how he ran things, but we stuck around because of you, boss. I know they’d all cut off their own hand to work directly for you.”
I sigh, shrugging. “You’re my Derzhatel, Alek, and as the second in command, I trust your judgement. Let’s face it, mine’s nothing to go by recently, and I have associates relying on the organisation to provide the goods. Set things in motion, and when we arrive back in England, I’ll make it official.” Something about Alek makes me trust him. He’s so eager to please and willing to get his hands dirty that I don’t find myself doubting his loyalty.
He nods, giving a small smile and disappearing back into his room to make the calls.
I hear a knock on Grace’s door and smile to myself before picking up the phone and asking reception to transfer me to her room. “You think flowers make up for what you’ve done to me?” she snaps the second she answers.
“No. They’re a gesture of love.”
“Stick your love up your arse,” she snaps, slamming the phone down.
I grin to myself. I think it’s working.
GRACE
I fling open the windows to my room and begin pulling the flowers from the bouquet, dropping them to the ground below. People look up, smiling and gathering the thorny roses. Only Ivan would have roses delivered with the thorns still in place.
Once each flower has been discarded, I close the windows and sit by them, grabbing the diary.
Lara’s final days weren’t nice, and her words have brought tears to my eyes several times. She found out she was pregnant but wasn’t sure who had fathered her child, Igor or Ivan. It was another thing that Maxim held over her, and I know she must have been terrified he’d tell Ivan she’d been willingly cheating.
Dear Diary,
Sex with Maxim is so much worse than I imagined. But what choice do I have? It’s like I’m stuck in this vicious circle of threats and pain, and I have no idea how to make it all stop. Ivan is away working for a week next month. A whole week. My life won’t be worth living. Maxim visits me most days and demands sex, sometimes with Igor, other times without. I’ve begged Ivan to take me away with him, but he’s made it clear he can’t. Maxim tells me it’s because Ivan has a woman in Russia that he visits. She’s some ex of his apparently, and they still have something going on. I asked Ivan if he’s ever cheated, and it ended in a huge fight. I see the guilt written all over his face. Maxim’s telling the truth.
Tonight, after he raped me, he happily showed me pictures of Ivan and the other woman together. They look happy, and she’s gorgeous. Really stunning. My heart is broken. I’ll never recover from any of this. I must find a way to leave.
When Ivan next calls me, I’m waiting. “You were cheating on Lara?” I accuse. He doesn’t immediately answer, which tells me I’m right. “You piece of shit. You made out you were so happy and in love, but it was all a lie.”
“I told you, things were not good at the end.”
“So, you thought cheating would help? Christ, why didn’t you just be a better man?” I yell.
“She knew and she wrote about it?”
“She wrote about everything,” I snap. “The constant rapes, the threats they made to keep her compliant. You know he showed her photographs of you and another woman? It broke Lara’s heart. You broke her heart. She was pregnant, and she was so broken because of you and your men.”
“I wish I could go back and change it,” he mutters.
“But you can’t. She died knowing you didn’t really love her.”
“I did love her,” he snaps, suddenly sounding angry. “She knew I loved her.”
“No, Ivan, she died thinking you hated her enough to fuck around. The worst thing is . . .” A sob escapes me, and I slam my hand over my mouth while tears wet my cheeks for a woman I didn’t even know. “While you were posing for pictures with another woman, she was being raped by your men. She was pregnant and having that happen to her every time you were away, and sometimes when you weren’t. You know Igor raped her in the kitchen while you were in your office one time? He liked the excitement.”
“Please,” Ivan mutters, “stop.”
“No,” I snap. “No, I won’t stop until you know every detail of her suffering.”
“I don’t want to know,” he yells, and I freeze. He sounded way closer than just over the telephone. I heard him through the wall.
I pick up the phone and pull the wire so I can move closer to the wall. “Is the guilt eating you alive?”
“Yes. Is that what you want, Grace, for me to suffer? Because I have suffered. She died alone, taking my child with her.”
“You don’t know if it was your child,” I say, pressing my ear to the wall. “She didn’t even know. And she lived with the extra fear that Maxim would tell you she was having an affair with Igor.”
“It was my child,” he snaps, and I almost gasp. He’s in the next room.My heart pounds hard in my chest.
