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“It’s a great organization,” I reply and hear her sniffle. “Sonnet, are you okay?”
Stupid. Of course she’s not okay.
“I mean, what can I do to help? Anything?”
Her bottom lip quivers. “No. Just brought back memories, but I want to remember that they’re all good. Really good. And that organization is doing such good work.”
I wipe a single tear that rolls down her cheek.
She smiles. “So why are you a doorbell Santa?”
Opening up is hard to do, at least for me. It’s the fallout of being open that holds me at bay. But tonight, I feel like I can trust this woman. Even if we don’t go further, she’s the real deal, caring, sweet, and almost unreal.
“My mother was a single mom and every year in July she would have someone come to the door in a Santa suit to get my list. She wouldn’t have been able to afford anything last minute, and I knew that, so I asked for things that were either activities or small. She worked an extra job for the rest of the year to afford a Christmas and give me memories that I cherish now.” I take a deep breath.
Her hand finds mine in my lap and our fingers roll together. “She sounds wonderful. I can understand how she wanted to give you what you wanted. I’m just not sure I can give Nyck what he wants. Happiness if fleeting, right?”
That might be our combined experience, but I have hope.
“I’ve had a great time tonight. Did you have a good time?”
She swallows softly, her lips rising into a gentle smile. “I did.”
“Do you think that’s happiness?” I pull her in closer.
There’s a long pause and I wonder if I’ve once again stepped over the line.
She leans in closer. “I’m happier than I have been in a long time.”
I meet her in the middle for a gentle kiss. Soft, lingering.
One that I don’t want to stop, but she’s not ready for more.
And I want it all.
I back away slowly and I swear I see a little disappointment in her eyes.
“Wow,” she says, and I nod.
“Agreed. Wow.”
That was a kiss I felt from the bottoms of my feet to the top of my head and pausing for a blood pumping stop in the middle. I take a couple deep breaths to calm what’s starting to rise to the occasion. Thankfully I have a long, cashmere coat on, so there’s no visible evidence, just the tension inside of me and my pants.
“Would you like to come over for decorating our tree tomorrow?”
The black and white is definitely graying and I wonder if we should wait until after the holidays, but her happiness means more than I ever imagined to me now.
I kiss her forehead as she nuzzles under my chin. “I’d love to…”
CHAPTER5
SONNET
Mariah Carey belts out“All I Want for Christmas is You” into the living room and I do my best to keep up with her, but it’s useless. She’s the queen of the holiday song.
But enter Harmony and she’s in tune, tone, and pace with Ms. Carey, even putting her own flourish on it. She has the musical gift in the family. I can hold a tune and sing-along, but Harmony makes the song her own.
She comes over and grabs my hands and swings them back and forth to force me to dance with her. I roll my eyes, but it’s been a good day after a great night.
