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“Mom!” Nyck calls out. “It’s ready.”
“I’m being called.” I walk backwards and my brain tries to process what she said.
Sure, I’m scared. Who wouldn’t be? But am I running from what could be amazing or am I protecting myself, just like Jasper felt the need to?
“Right. Okay. I’m going to run out to do some shopping. I’ll be back before you head into work at two.”
“You know I heard you.”
“I know.” She mumbles as she leaves the room, “Maybe just once you couldlistento me.”
I still. She’s sacrificed so much for us. I’ve relied on her so much. Maybe it’s time to stand on my own two feet.
Maybe it’s time to rescue myself.
CHAPTER8
JASPER
What a shitshow!I can only be mad at myself. I’m not mad that she found it. I am the one who ordered it, I only have myself to hold responsible for this.
It’s Christmas Eve, but I decide to head into the office. No one will be there and it’s where I do my best thinking.
I walk off the elevator and there’s a light on in a corner. I walk to the doorway.
“What are you doing here?”
Kieler lifts a wrapped box and shakes it at me. “Forgot a couple gifts that were delivered here to the office. Why areyouhere, boss man?”
“Just wanted to wrap up a few—”
“Gifts?”
“Projects.”
“Jasper…” he sighs my name and it’s one of the only times he’s ever called me by my first name. I take notice. “What’s going on, really?”
Normally I’d brush it off, especially with the office player who is in front of me. But this time, the situation’s different. I’m different. What I’m experiencing isn’t something I can’t fully understand. No books, no college degrees, no intuition has prepared me for this.
“I did something I can’t take back, and I hurt someone. Someone who I… I…” The word is right there, but it’s foreign to me.
“You love?”
I nod.
“How bad are we talking?” he asks and I can see that he’s truly listening.
Leaning against the doorframe, I tell him what happened. The simple, and yet complicated, details. And Kieler says nothing.
I wait.
And wait some more.
“That’s pretty bad. I can understand your side, but can you see hers?” he says.
I’d put a lot of thought into it. “Yeah. She’s questioning everything related to— us. She’s hurting, still, and a part of her always will. But I want to soothe the hurt. I want to take the pains away and make her feel the hope that I feel when I’m with her. I think that I was meant to do that Santa Sighting. I wasn’t originally supposed to, but the first Santa couldn’t. I wonder if Parker had something to do with it. Sonnet’s looking for reasons to run, she’s been through so much.”
“If you love her, then you need to let her know it and show her she can trust you, that you understand her and want to be there for her now and always.”
