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My mind races, the conflict within me tearing at my resolve. The truth looms before me, demanding release, yet my fear and pride are formidable barriers. I’m caught between desire and the need to protect myself.
“I need answers,” I blurt out, the admission hanging heavily in the air, a confession wrapped in frustration and desire. “I need to understand what’s happening, why I’m here, and what you expect from me.”
Desmond’s gaze softens slightly, and he tenderly caresses my cheek. “That’s all you needed to say, kitten.”
In that moment, I realize the truth—I craved understanding amidst this chaos, not just physical pleasure. Desmond wielded desire as a weapon, but maybe I can use my need for clarity as a shield. It’s a fragile realization within this dark dance, a flickering ember in the shadows.
“No,” I shout, my eyes burning with tears, my chest blotchy and red. “Fine. Fine,” I cry. “How was I supposed to know if you wanted me for me?” I yell at them. “How was I supposed to know you wanted me and not my blood?” I glare at them, my body coiled so tight, I feel like I might combust.
Lyric and Matty move first, both of them standing, despite their injuries. Then Desmond stands before me, his dark eyes moving back and forth.
“Sal,” I choke out as I stare at Desmond, “was my cousin. I didn’t know. Everyone around me knew who I was except me. How was I supposed to know I wasn’t somehow led here? How is it just coincidence?”
“I’ve always known who you were, Charlotte,” Desmond admits, pulling a choked sob from me. He presses his hand against my mouth and steps closer before I can utter a single word in denial. “I knew who you were, and I still wanted you. I don’t want to use you, and I’ll just have to continue to prove that to you.”
I swallow thickly as I roll his words over repeatedly in my head.
“Lyric knew who you were though.” Desmond smirks. “He only tried to hurt you with his black sports car once.”
I glance at Lyric, the moment playing out in my head. It was when I was walking Milo to the food trucks—the black car that took off down the street.
A jumble of emotions swirls inside me—confusion, anger, betrayal, and a strange sense of relief. It’s as if a curtain has been pulled back, revealing a hidden truth that changes everything. The revelation about my cousin being part of this world, this dangerous world I unwittingly stepped into, adds a layer of complexity to an already convoluted situation.
“Lyric has two Impalas, kitten. Old and new,” Desmond whispers. “And he still wants you. I assure you, he wants you. You put your brother above all your needs. Your favorite color is sea green, and you hate to cook but love food. Don’t you get it? We want you.”
Desmond’s hand drops from my mouth, and I find my voice. “You’ve known all along?” I ask, my voice small and trembling.
He nods solemnly. “I kept it from you to protect you. I wasn’t sure how much you knew about your biological father’s…activities.”
“Activities?” I repeat, my mind struggling to comprehend the enormity of what he’s saying.
“His family is deeply entrenched in the underworld, Charlotte. It’s a world of power, alliances, and secrets. I didn’t want you to get caught in the crossfire, but now that you’re here, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I feel like the ground has shifted beneath me, leaving me adrift in a sea of uncertainties. My emotions are a turbulent storm, and I’m not sure how to navigate through it.
Even in this darkness, Desmond’s earnest words and his promise to protect me creates a thread of hope, a possibility that maybe I can find my way through this and carve out my own path, regardless of my bloodline.
My walls slowly crumble.
“We want the woman who busts her ass and forgets to eat. The woman who loves so much cream and sugar in her coffee that I don’t even know why you drink it. You, who secretly love those little games on your phone and have a collection of a thousand memes in a secret folder on your phone.” He raises his brow at me in amusement. “You think we don’t know you because we’ve only courted you for over a week?”
I gently nod my head as much as I can with his hand over my mouth.
“And my mother.” He shakes his head. “Even if she wants you for some nefarious reason, it doesn’t mean that’s why I want you. Charlotte, I want you for the thousand and one little intricacies about you. The way you run into things and can’t figure out where that bruise came from. The way you have a love-hate relationship with your hair and threaten to chop it off. I want you for all those little quirks about you that you don’t even realize.”
Tears burn behind my eyes.
“No one has ever looked at Lyric the way you do. He hunted you in the woods, and while I wanted to interfere, a part of me needed to know you could handle him.” He smiles at me. “And you handled him and wanted more.” He slowly pulls his hand away.
“Jani,” I choke out.
Desmond laughs. “There is a reason my mother never enforced those arrangements. I told her if she did, I’d stop protecting this town. She’s pleased I chose you. You, Charlotte, we chose you.”
He backs away, leaving me to stare at Lyric and Matty, who sit back down on the couch, their eyes intense and haunted.
A surge of emotions washes over me. In the midst of this convoluted revelation, I find a newfound clarity. The truth is harsh and unsettling, but in its raw honesty, I see the sincerity and desire they hold for me. For the first time, I understand that love and desire can be tangled in a complex web of circumstances.
The weight of the world seems to lift, leaving me feeling strangely light. I am Charlotte, the clumsy, coffee-loving, meme-hoarding woman, and they want me for exactly who I am. For the first time, I’m not hiding behind the shadows of my past.
