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“No.” Madison shook her head. “It’s fine. I can be a few minutes late. What do you mean?”
Payton sighed. “After we slept together the first time, I thought things were fine between us. We still had a lot to talk about, but I would never have guessed that you would feel like pushing me in the direction of another woman. I felt like shit, Madison. It was like you threw that night back in my face, like it had meant nothing to you.”
Madison swallowed down the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. “I’m sorry.”
“I woke up today with a stupid smile on my face until I caught myself. I had to remind myself that there was every chance I could end up feeling that way again. I know we still have the wedding tomorrow and everything, but I want to know that you’ll give this a chance when we get back to New York. And if you won’t? That was it. Last night was the last time we sleep together. I can’t keep doing this back-and-forth thing.”
Madison pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry for the way I treated you.” Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she didn’t know how to put into words what she was feeling.
“Go to your meeting,” Payton said as she stood up. “I’ll probably go be a tourist for the day. You can let me know what you decide when I see you in the evening.”
“Okay,” Madison said as Payton left to go into the living area. She reappeared a few seconds later.
“Also,” Payton said, her sling bag over her shoulder. “You never answered my question last night. Both of them, actually.”
“When? What questions?”
“Before your robe came off. I asked you if we could admit that we weren’t pretending anymore, and I asked you to give me this week.” Payton took her shades out of her bag and put them on top of her head. “You can answer all those questions later.” She was halfway out the door when she called over her shoulder, “Hope your meeting goes well.”
Madison watched her go, completely baffled by that interaction. They were such serious questions, but the way Payton delivered them, it was like she was asking her what time they were having dinner.
Madison knew what she wanted to tell Payton. Obviously, they weren’t pretending, but what would happen when she said that out loud? She’d already tried to tell Payton that she wasn’t good at relationships, the memory of their brief conversation coming back to her.
And if that wasn’t a good enough reason not to do this, there was the small detail of Payton being her employee. Her much younger employee.
Madison glanced at her watch and that got her out of her chair, scrambling to get dressed and put on makeup in record time.
She’d have to let Payton down easy. If that was what she was going. That was what she should be doing. Because clearly, she hadn’t done a good job of treating Payton with respect.
Madison pushed all those thoughts aside as she entered the restaurant where she had her meeting. Thankfully, she was just ten minutes late.
37
Payton left the suite in a daze, adrenaline pumping through her, her heart beating way too fast. That was gutsy. And potentially stupid. Being so direct with Madison.
But at the same time, she was kind of proud of herself for doing that. It was an attempt to protect herself, even though she was already so far gone.
But she had to know.
And there was the wedding tomorrow. She had to know going into that if she could just relax and be herself or if she maybe needed to be more guarded.
So, now she’d get to spend the day wandering around London trying not to dwell on what she’d just done and what Madison’s response was going to be.
That was certainly easier said than done, but as she slid on her shades and crossed the street, she decided she’d see if she could find a ticket to an afternoon show in the West End. She doubted she’d get to see any of the popular shows, but she wasn’t picky. She just wanted the experience and also the distraction.
She took out her phone and typed in the location, seeing that she had about a thirty-minute walk ahead of her. Perfect. She could do with some fresh air, and she popped her headphones in, putting on her favorite playlist, hoping it would keep her from thinking about Madison.
She really wanted to call Ashley, but it was too early, although she had a feeling that Ashley would cheer her on. She’d probably be shocked that Payton had the guts to do it, but Ashley would be happy that she had.
Payton had to wonder if she would be happy with herself this evening when she got back to the hotel, and Madison had some answers for her.
The problem was, Payton could see it going either way. She could just as easily picture Madison gently telling her that their working relationship made this impossible as she could Madison saying that she couldn’t ignore the chemistry they had, that this was worth exploring.
Payton stuffed her hands in her pockets as she slowed her steps to wait for the stream of people coming out from the tube station to file onto the busy sidewalk.
This was going to be a long day.
38
