AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Cara nods. The two women stand in the hallway for a moment. Lauren pushes her long blonde hair behind her ears, and Cara feels slightly awkward. She wants to tell her to go home, that she wants this time with her family alone, but thinks she might be being rude when Lauren has put herself out to help them today.
They both listen to Noah’s voice coming from the bedroom, starting on the story. She smiles as he speaks in a mock cockney accent, then in deep Scottish tones. The door opens and Roo comes out.
“Rejected again?” Cara says, and Roo smiles.
“As always.” He puts his arm around her and plants a kiss on her forehead. “How was your day?”
“You don’t want to know.”
She hugs her husband, enjoying hearing the happy giggles of her daughter, laughter from her son. She can imagine them, snuggled up next to Noah on Josh’s bed, clean and warm in their pajamas.
“How’s Tilly?” she asks.
“No vomiting since, eaten some toast for tea, so all looking okay. I’ll go and get dinner on,” he says. “Are you staying?” he asks Lauren.
Say no, say no, Cara wills silently.
“Thank you, but I should be going,” Lauren says. “But I’ll come and help tidy up.”
Cara hears Roo’s protestations as they both go downstairs, telling her she should put her feet up. I don’t pay that woman enough, Cara thinks, feeling the familiar flash of guilt.
In the bedroom, Noah is sitting on Joshua’s bed, her son next to him, looking at the pictures in the book as the story progresses. Tilly is sitting on the floor, and Cara joins her, sitting cross-legged and pulling her daughter into her lap.
She leans forward and puts her nose into her daughter’s hair. It smells of strawberry shampoo. Tilly drinks her milk and stares at Noah, completely absorbed in the story.
Cara looks up at Noah. For the first time that day he has a smile on his face; he’s enjoying reading the book, receiving undivided attention from her kids. This is an aspect to Noah that has always surprised her: this softer, paternal side. She would love Noah to find someone, to fall in love.
The second story comes to an end, and Noah stands up, giving both kids a goodnight hug, leaving Cara alone with them.
“Into bed now, please?” Cara says as the kids mess around together, eventually settling under their duvets, Tilly going next door into her own room. She hugs her son and kisses him goodnight. She stops in the doorway after she’s turned the light off, just making out his shape in the darkness, feeling a swell of love.
She hears the click of the front door as Lauren leaves for the night, then Roo climbing the stairs and going to say goodnight to Tilly.
She would do anything for her family. She wonders if she should give up this job, do something more stable, more nine-to-five, then dismisses the thought. She knows she never will, then thinks: Why wouldn’t it be enough?
Roo comes out of Tilly’s bedroom and joins her in the hallway.
“All quiet,” he whispers.
She nods and he goes in to say goodnight to Joshua, as she does the same to Tilly.
She’s already half asleep.
‘Mommy?” she says as Cara goes to shut the door.
“Hmm?” Cara turns back, the light from the hallway casting a glow over her daughter.
“Are you winning? Against the monsters?”
Cara sighs. “I’m trying my best,” she says at last. “Get some sleep, pickle.”
She closes the door behind her and stands in the hallway. Downstairs she can hear the deep laughter from her husband, then Noah joining in. Even in such domestic bliss, she feels a heaviness to her body. She knows that, at the moment, she isn’t winning. She isn’t winning at all.
* * *
In the kitchen, the table is laid and tempting smells are starting to waft from the oven. Roo stands at the kitchen counter, a knife in his hand, the blade a blur as he chops the carrots. Cara stops in the doorway.
He finishes, tipping the vegetables into the boiling water, then spots Cara watching. He throws the knife in the air. It spins once, and he expertly catches it by the handle.
