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“What has you so tense?” He studies me and I’m suddenly self-conscious, the ache at the base of my skull and shoulders intensifying.
Where do I start? He’s got to know. Is he teasing me? Prompting me to talk without calling me out?
My fingers pinch and press at the taut muscles in my neck. “You mean besides the obvious? Felix’s unwanted visit, and yes, I’ll explain. My mother is blowing up my phone with calls and texts and my dad, well…I still haven’t heard from him.”
I bite my tongue before adding that I doubt my father will call, so why am I holding out hope?
Because he’s my dad. No matter how he hurts or disappoints me, I’ve always forgiven him. I love him, always will, and sadly, I want his love in return. I’ll do almost anything for it.
“Is it your neck or your back?”
I rub at the tight spot. “Both. I have a pain in my neck.”
“Hey, that’s my line.” He winks, and I narrow my gaze though that’s fair.
Tom doesn’t have to spell out what—or more like who—he’s referring to. I have been a pain in his neck. Still, I’m not willing to give it to him that easily.
“You aren’t funny.” I back up as he approaches.
“Yeah, I am.” He motions for me to turn around.
What is he doing? Is he going to give me a massage? At the mere thought of his hands on me, my core floods with heat and my nerve endings tingle.
I don’t move. I can’t. “Uh.”
“Let me try to work out the knots.”
My head shakes like a malfunctioning bobblehead. “Um. No.”
In my frazzled state, I dive headlong into the one topic I’ve promised to broach and also dread. “Felix and I were in a relationship, on and off, for the past three years.”
He slowly blinks and cocks his head to one side as if a different angle might give him some clarity. “What? But I thought you said that you weren’t together.”
I shuffle my feet awkwardly and battle the urge to bolt from the room. I haven’t even started and I’m bungling this.
“We did have a relationship, but it wasn’t what you’re thinking. Remember how you asked about Hollywood relationships? Well, ours was for the press.”
“The press?”
“It started with a crush. I met him through my parents at a party in LA a few years ago. Well, technically, I met him way before that on the set ofLaguna Beachbut didn’t expect him to remember.” I guffaw at the improbability of that. “And he didn’t. I’d been a lovesick kid at the time. Crushing on both Roman Kingsley and Felix.”
It’s plain to see Tom’s invested in what suddenly feels like a mortifying confession—my pathetic excuse for a love life.
“I flirted with Felix at the party, and he reciprocated.” I shrug to emphasize the significance or lack of any. “But it meant nothing. The man could flirt with a door handle. My mistake was doing it in front of my parents.” Embarrassment at my one-track mind back then blazes my cheeks. “It was my father who came up with the idea of fake dating.”
“Fake dating? That’s a thing?”
I nod. “They were about to start filming my father’s movie, and Felix was cast as the lead. It’s the same movie that’s premiering at the Toronto Film Festival. Dad wanted buzz for the film, and he quickly figured out that I liked Felix…and saw how it would be great publicity.”
“Did you want that?”
Why does his question shake me? Because he’s doing it again. Asking me whatIwant. It’s such a simple thing. Natural even. Yet it throws me. Most people don’t ask me about my needs and wants.
My arms wrap around my middle to ground me. “No one asked me what I wanted. And truthfully, at first, I thought it would be fun. I mean, what if Felix fell for me?”
Ridiculous, over-the-top laughter erupts from deep within me, and Tom’s eyes round, startled. I try to rein it in and press my lips together. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I stop talking?
There’s something about Tom, about his laid-back, no-expectations manner that puts me at ease and woefully at a disadvantage.
