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“Yes. When we got married I knew you didn’t love me, but I thought things would change.” She sniffs, wiping her nose and slumping down on the bed. “The first time we were together, you screamed out her name when you came. I thought, hey, he’s going to get over her eventually. But that day will never come. She is who you’ve always wanted.”
That breaks my anger at her a bit. I could never deny wanting Lacey. I won’t start now, insulting Bree’s intelligence to let her momentarily feel better. She deserves better. She always has. But how could I give her that, when I couldn’t do better myself? I feel fucking guilty and sad, because in a way, I’ve broken her. Not intentionally, but I did.
I slump down next to her on the bed, elbows resting on my knees, roughly running my fingers through my hair. “So, you were trying to hurt me?” She did. We are not together anymore, and if we weren’t headed for a divorce—which we absolutely are after today—the decision would be made.
She shrugs her shoulders, wiping away more tears, not looking my way. “I was lonely. I was thinking that the last time you touched me was a year ago. It has been so long since anyone really touched me and made me feel wanted. I miss you. I miss us. You weren’t perfect, but at least I had someone.” Her lips tremble as she roughly wipes her face with the back of her hand, her face turning red.
“This is all so fucked up.”
“It’s not my fault. You weren’t supposed to come back.”
She’s still on that, huh? It doesn’t matter whether I was supposed to come back or not.
“What are we going to tell him, Landon?”
“I’m not sure.” I look at her profile, head hanging down. “I’ll have a talk with him and try to make him understand, but he’s going to need to talk to you, and what are you going to tell him?” She says nothing. I put my hand on her shoulder as I get up to leave, and she covers my hand. The vibrations of her soft cries shake her shoulder, going straight to my heart.
What am I doing here? Why the hell would I come to her house like this? I don’t know if she’s home. I didn’t call or anything. I should go. I’ll talk to Trigg; that’ll be best. I’m going to look like a psycho stalker showing up at her house unannounced. Sighing deeply I grip the steering wheel and start my truck up. I take another look at the house, and her door flies open. Jacob runs out in front of her. I stop and get out the truck just in time to catch him as he launches himself into my arms. I smile at how happy he is to see me. It feels good, especially in contrast to the morning from hell I had.
“Hey, buddy.” I put him down, crouching to his eye level. “Sure am glad to see you. Is it safe to say you’re happy to see me, too?”
“You can come over anytime you want, Landon. When you’re around, we have so much fun. Right mama?” He turns his head up behind him, peering at his mother with an expectant smile.
“Of course. Landon and Jackson are welcome here anytime.”
“Good to know since I’ve already shown up uninvited.”
“Where’s Jackson?” Jacob asked looking at the back of my truck. “Is he sick or something?”
“Nah, he’s fine. He’s at baseball practice.”
“Oh, yeah. He’s lucky. He gets to play baseball. All I get is to go to church with mom and grandma every Sunday.” He pouts
“Mind your manners, young man.” Lacey scolds. “If your grandmother catches you talking like that she’ll start taking you to Wednesday Bible study with her and put you in the junior choir until you appreciate the Lord’s day more.”
“Oh, no! Please don’t tell her I said that. I promise, I’ll ‘preciate it more.”
“Deal.”
I dip my head down trying not to laugh. I remember those days when I was a kid. Every Sunday morning, I would fall asleep in Sunday school. My mama would threaten to box my ears if I didn’t start paying more attention. I wasn’t doing it on purpose; it just couldn’t be helped. Sister Andrew was as boring as watching paste dry. She strongly believed children should be seen and not heard. ‘Keep your mouth shut and listen; you’ll learn more’ was her motto. No wonder I raised so much hell in high school and broke more than a few commandments.
“Could you take me to a game to see Jackson play? He says it’s lots of fun.”
“Sure can, with your mother’s permission.”
Knowing what’s coming, Lacey cuts him off. “I won’t say no, but we’ll discuss it later. Say goodbye, go back in with grandma.”
Catching me a little off-guard, he wraps his arms around me, melting away some more of the anger I've been storing inside. “Thanks, Landon, you’re the best.”
“I think you’re pretty special too, Jacob,” I say hugging him back. He is. I know it has everything to do with Lacey and her family, and absolutely nothing to do with the other half of his genetic makeup.
Turning him by the arm, she hugs him to her and plants a kiss on his cheek. “I love you, baby. See you when I get home from work.”
“He groans, walking away saying, “Mom, I’m not a baby!”
“You’ll always be my baby!” she calls after him, watching him go in.
At the door, her mother waves to us. I wave back, feeling out of place when her mother gives me a long, hard look while closing the door. There is nothing like an overprotective mother. I understand; she has every right to be.
