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“Was there a problem you couldn’t handle while I was out?” I fold my arms, staring back at him with the same attitude he’s giving me. “If there was a problem, you know you could have called me.”
“If you looked at your phone, you would have seen at least three messages from Axel.”
“Shit, I didn’t see them. I hardly had time to look at my phone.” I pull the phone out of my bag and turn it on, and there they are, along with a missed call from my grandpa. “Sorry, I was busy.”
“Busy doing what in a skirt so short it’s riding up over your ass, and a face full of glittery shit that is not a requirement to work behind a cash register in a hardware store?” He shoves off the wall, coming closer to me.
“I was out. I don’t need to run my whereabouts by you, Drew. I don’t know what crawled up your ass and died, but I said I’m sorry. I missed the calls and that should be enough. I’ve had a long day and I’m going to bed.”
“That’s the way it’s gonna be now?”
“The way what is?”
“You do what you do, no questions asked. We sit at home waiting for you and follow your orders. While you’re free to do what you want to do because you think it’s what’s right, putting us at risk.”
“What risk? I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I’m doing is what I need to do. What I think is right to keep this family going which includes taking care of you, Ryan, and Axel.”
“Stop treating me like a kid who doesn’t see what’s going on. You’re doing shit none of us agreed to. We’re supposed to make decisions that affect all of us together, things that could end with us thrown into a fucked up foster system, like Mom.”
“I’m not doing that. You think you have an idea, but you don’t.” My voice raises at his accusation that I'm anything like our mother. “And I’m nothing like Vanessa. I don’t know what’s going on. Lately you’ve been questioning everything I do and say, when you just need to trust me when I say we are going to be fine.”
He flips the zipper up on his jacket and looks me up and down, reminding me of one of those jerks at the club, and says, “Trustworks both ways.” He walks past, barely misses clipping my shoulder, and jogs down the stairs.
“Drew—” I hear the locks on the door and run to the top of the stairs and look down. “It’s late, where the hell are you going?”
“Out. I’ll be fine, trust me.” He smiles and closes the door firmly behind him.
So frustrating. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” I run both hands over my face.
“He’ll be all right.” I turn, facing Ryan rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. “He’ll probably go sit in the car and smoke a blunt and come back in.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better, a minor sitting in the open smoking a blunt?”
“You can go out there and risk round two of what’s become the usual between you two.”
Not even considering that as an option, I say, “Good point. Good night.” I just can’t with him tonight. “I’ve done enough adulting for the day.”
“Yeah, I’ll lock up and sleep on the couch so I can hear him if he doesn’t have his keys.”
“Thanks, Ryan. Sometimes I think you’re the only one that has your shit together in this family.”
He smiles, “Yeah, that’s accurate.”
“Get out of here.” I laugh and give a light shove to his shoulder. Then I remember and ask, “Was Axel upset I missed his call?”
“He woke up from a nightmare. He was scared but after a while, we got him to calm down. He fell asleep in Drew’s bed. He’s fine. Don’t worry about it, we handled it.”
“Shit. I’m sorry I should have been here for him, with you guys.”
“Axel’s safe. Drew is just being Drew more than I’ve ever seen, but yeah, it’s Drew.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “He’s going to be angry, blow it off some way—he’ll be fine tomorrow…or…Tuesday of next year?”
“Don’t even joke like that.” I give him a reassuring squeeze on the arm as he goes downstairs.
I change my mind and go in the direction of the boys’ rooms. I get to Drew and Ryan’s door, walk in, and look down on Axel sleeping soundly tangled in Drew’s sheet. I brush my hand over his hair. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you tonight,” I say low enough not to wake him.
I know Drew has been frustrated, but I can count on him and Ryan to take care of stuff when I’m not here when it counts. But damn, it’s not their responsibility and it shouldn’t be mine either. It should be Vanessa’s. Damn her and those so-called men who are supposed to be our fathers. Fuck the three of them. We’ll find a way. We always do, don’t we?
Heaving a long sigh, I straighten up. “Goodnight, Ax, I’m going to try to do better. And try to keep our house from being taken away from us. That’s one of at least ten reasons I’m still doing this sucky club thing.” I kiss his forehead and drag my tired ass into bed, throwing my clothes on the floor, and crawl into bed without the bath I’m too drained to take.
