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She was.” He sighs. “I wish you could find someone like that, Vanessa. Leave these men alone. Lexi’s father is no good, listen to me, please.” He squeezes my hand, pleading with the wrong person.
How I wish she had listened to you, Grandpa.
“Let me help you. I have something for you and Lexi. It’ll help you. There, pull out the drawer.”
Okay.” I pull out the drawer next to his bed and look inside. There’s only a piece of scrunched-up paper with what looks like some drawings on it and fifty dollars.
“Take it. You’ll need it.”
“Gr—I’m not taking your money.”
“Take it. You’ll need it. What are you going to do when I’m gone, Vanessa? Live on the streets with my granddaughter and those babies in your belly? Take it!”
“No.” I shake my head.
“Look at me!” He grabs my hand holding on so tight it pinches. “I’m not what I used to be but I’ve always prepared for this day.” More agitated than I’ve ever seen him, he says, “Promise me you’ll take what’s in that drawer and keep it in a safe place, promise, that paper is important!”
“Okay, okay, Grandpa!” I lower my voice and rub the back of his wrinkled hand to calm him down. “Please keep your voice down. It’s late and you’ll wake the others up.”
“Promise you’ll keep that paper in a safe place, it’s worth more than you know. It’s to help you and the kids.”
I nod my head, take the paper and push it into my back pocket. He loosens his hold on my hand. His face goes slack like all his energy is suddenly drained as I ease him back gently onto his pillow.
“Keep it safe. Fix the floorboard in my room, it’ll help,” he says, closing his eyes.
“Sure, Grandpa. I will.” I put my hand on his chest and kiss his cheek. I pull back and watch his breathing even out as he falls off to sleep, staring down at him feeling helpless and overwhelmed by it all, wishing I could turn back time for him, and keep him with us.
Seven
LEXI
“What are we going to eat? I’m hungry,” Axel says, as I turn the key in the lock and open the door for them.
“I’ll make something for you.”
“Why couldn’t we get McDonald's like I want?” He whines. “I don’t get the candy I want and no McDonalds. This sucks.”
Ryan laughs. “A lot of things suck, Ax. Get used to it.”
I lightly slap his shoulder with the back of my hand. “Don’t listen to him, Axel, and watch your—“ I hear the high-pitched shriek no one wants toeverhear.
“Oh my god! Axel, you're getting so big.”
“Mommy!” Axel smiles and runs to her as she bends down and opens her arms to him.
I turn around slowly looking at the last person I want to see standing in our kitchen. Big ass smiles on her face like it’s any other normal day for her to be here, jeans so tight it’s like they’re painted on, mustard tube top under a short thin leather jacket, and ankle-high stiletto booties.
“Ax, soon I won’t be able to recognize you. You're getting so tall and handsome just like your brothers. You’re almost a man.”
“Lexi, Mommy says I’m big and strong like a man.”
“Except he’s not, Vanessa,” Ryan says emotionless, leaning on the door frame in the kitchen, arms folded.
“Lexi, Ryan.” She stands with a hand on Axel's shoulder. “Aren’t you going to give your mother a hug?”
Ryan shakes his head and snickers. “Naw, I’m good. You, Lex?”
“I’m good.” I’d rather stick my finger in a snake's mouth. I stand a better chance of not being bitten. After a few go-arounds with Vanessa, you learn your lesson the hard way. Something I wish didn’t have to happen to Axel but is inevitable for him with her as his mother. And by the looks of the mess in the fucking kitchen, it looks like she’s on track to disappoint again. I can clearly see, with all the open cans and open cabinets, and coffee grounds scattered all over the counters, she’s not just here for a friendly visit.
