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He knows I’m keeping something from him. I’m not completely sure he knows what it is but he’s pissed at me. And I’m not completely sure it’s all about me either but I can’t get him to talk. I miss when things were better between us and we could just talk without all the hostility brewing between us. It’s hard, sometimes it’s like I’m walking on eggshells around him. I don’t know when he’s going to snap at me for the simplest question. I didn’t know asking “where are you going” could be such a heated question, or even “hi”.
Whatever this is that’s going on with me andhim,I need to figure it out or things could get really bad, especially if he thinks listening to me these days is the kiss of death. We need to be a team to keep this family together. We can’t be fighting each other over little things that are not as important.
I turn my head to the front door when I hear the knob moving back and forth. Any second Drew or Ryan will be bursting through it. Hopefully, telling me about their day to distract me from the rest of the bills I can’t pay because it’s June and school ends next week and they need sneakers, new clothes, and more food. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could just pause growing and eating for like one summer? The money that could be saved there with three boys would be exciting.
“What’s up with that?” I put the laptop on the cushion next to me and go over to the door, watching the knob jiggle some more. Everyone has a new key. Maybe something is wrong with the lock. “Is your key stuck? Take it out so I can see,” I say through the door. I turn the lock back and forth to test it out. “I can have Noah take a look at it since he’s the one who changed it.” I open the door to tell one of them to give me their key, but instead of seeing one of my brothers it’s the headache in our lives I never need and wish would just…stop.
“Hey, sweetheart,” she says with a smile and wiggles her finger at me.
“What the hell are you doing here again, Vanessa?” I step outside and pull the door in and lean on it, effectively blocking her from getting inside.
“Can’t you greet me once with at least a pleasant smile, instead of whatever your face is doing now?” She circles a finger in front of her face. “It’s not a cute look on you.”
“Please. I’m not even giving you the real reaction you deserved.” I look over at the car that’s parked in front of the house with some guy sitting behind the wheel. I wonder where she picked him up from. He’ll be gone by next week, like all the others. My mother has always had a gift for picking men that have no problem whatsoever, walking out of our lives at the drop of a dime like we were a layover on their way to someone and someplace better than us. I couldn’t even blame them. I shake my head at her—not caring—but it’s the thing to ask when she keeps coming back,willingly. “What’d you want?”
“Always so suspicious.” She shoves the key for the old lock into her pocket. “We had such a nice time last week. I thought I’d stop by and do it again. Where are Axel and Ryan? I brought something for them.”
“You don’t even know if they’re here and you show up anyway without calling? You haven’t called once since I threatened you into spending time with your son.” I fold my arms across my chest, getting angrier with each word, stepping closer to her. “You are such a liar.”
“What are you talking about? I really did come to see Axel, and the rest of you.” She lifts her chin.
“Yeah, right. You didn’t think we were home, did you? Stop lying.”
“You know, Lexi, you have some major trust issues for someone your age.”
She is unbelievable! “And who the hell do you think I got them from?”
“I have no idea.” She shrugs. “Can I just come in? I came all the way over here from Queens to visit my kid—kids, just let me in.” She reaches around me to twist the knob.
Pissed off, I slap her hand away and get in her face.
Her hand balls into a fist at her side and the real mother I know makes an appearance. “Who the hell do you think you are, you little bitch! You’re going to start showing me some goddamn respect.”
“Respect is something you earn. You haven’t earned a thing from the moment you gave birth to us. You’ve never given us a thought other than what you can get for us from the government. Don’t talk to me about respect. You're a shitty mother, and a shitty person, who cares about no one but yourself.”
“That’s a lie! I always did my best for you.”
“Well, your best was never good enough. Leave, no one here needs you. We’re doing fine on our own, as always.”
“I’m not going anywhere. This is not your house, it’s my father's. When he dies it’s going to be mine. Then what are you going to do, Lexi?
“Get the hell away from my house!” I shout in her face, angry she could so carelessly talk about Grandpa like that without any emotion at all. Like he’s going to die any minute now, like a distant stranger to her.
“When this house is mine, you’re going to be out in your ass!”
“Whoop whoop.” We both turn our heads at the sound of a siren.
“You bitch, you called the cops on your own mother.” She steps back from me seeing Noah stepping out of his police car.
“Is there a problem here, Lexi,” he says, in a clear authoritative voice I haven’t heard him use before, like a real cop.
“No, Officer. There is no problem here. This is my father's house, soon to be mine. I’m just trying to get inside to see my son but my daughter won’t open the door.”
“Ma’am, I’ve been here many times and I’ve never seen you here. You’re her mother, right?
“Yes.”
“As far as I know her grandfather owns this house and she lives here with her brothers, and she takes care of them. And the only time I’ve heard of you being inside this house, you don’t live in or own, is when I had to change the locks after you broke in last week, uninvited and unwelcome.”
