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“You going to arrest me for talking to my sister in my own house? I didn’t do anything wrong out there and you know it, neither did my friends.”
“One of those friends was shaking a can without a cap. You’re lucky I’m the one who pulled up and let you guys off with a stern warning, considering all the weed and the mouthing off some of them were doing. You could be in a precinct waiting to be picked up.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he grumbles, trying to walk around me to the stairs.
“We’re not finished” I hold his arm, stopping him from walking away. “You owe Noah at least a thank you for saving your ass from getting into trouble we don’t need. Did you see Vanessa out there? She’s headache enough.”
“Now I’m a headache.” He stares at me, eyes squinting. “So you plan on going out again tonight with friends, it’s your habit now? You should take your newfriend,Officer James, with you. I’m sure he’d have a good time.”
“Drew,” I hiss, stepping in his way as he tries to step around me.
“Do you want me to keep going, Lex?” He leans into me closer and lowers his voice, “I’m not the only one in this house not telling the truth. So don’t talk to me about trusting each other and having each other’s backs.”
Fuck. I step out of his way to let him go to his room. He needs to cool off anyway before we can even have a rational talk. I don’t know what he thinks he knows, but I don’t want to run the risk of him saying or being remotely close to what he thinks he knows in front of Noah. He’s said enough.
“He’ll be okay. For all his attitude he seems like a reasonable kid when he’s calm. Keep a closer eye on him and the people he’s hanging with.”
“If it was so easy… these days I can barely get him to acknowledge me without sneering.” I run the palm of my hands over my forehead, smoothing back my hair.
“Bright side.” He reaches for me pulling me against his chest. “Only what, three—four years until he’s not a teenager anymore?”
I smacked my head against his chest. “Do you want to make me cry?” I say, tears really on the verge of spilling over.
“Take it easy.” He lowers his voice, rubbing my back. “Things will work out between you. But I notice he seems to be angry at you for holding something back from him? Maybe if you can tell me what it is I can help.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is exactly why I didn’t want to get too close. And Drew is so unpredictable when he’s angry. I don’t know what he’ll say when he’s in one of his moods.
“I don’t know.” I keep my head on his chest, ashamed to look at him, and lie right to his face. “You said yourself how angry teenagers are at that age. He’s upset with me for everything under the sun these days. It’s some kind of power struggle, there shouldn’t be. I’m not trying to pull authority over him.” I’m trying to keep us together, keep them out of the foster system, especially Axel.
“You know it’s just us. My mother is in and out of our lives with her nonsense and my grandfather…he’s not doing so well—but there’s always hope. And hopefully, he won’t get any worse.”
God, this is not working. I’m rambling with my guilt. Lying to this really nice hot guy who is letting me soak his uniform with tears. I sniff and try to pull back from him, only to have strong arms hold me closer, and say, “Shh. It’s okay. It’ll all work out.”
“No, it won’t. I’m messing it all up. I’m messing them up and all of it gets harder every day. I’m supposed to be stronger than this. I’m the oldest, I’m supposed to hold this all together.”
Rubbing my back gently, he puts his lips to my ear. “You can’t always be the strong one all the time. Holding it in all the time is like a pressure cooker and you know what happens?”
“What?” I say, sniffing.
“When pressure builds up with no release, it explodes. Take three deep breaths.” He rubs my back, while I take a few deep breaths. “You feel any better?” He looks at me, eyes filled with concern.
This is hard. It’s been a long time, if ever—since someone has cared about what I’m going through. Especially a guy I’m involved with. He’s nice, caring, and understanding. He didn’t have to do what he did for Drew tonight, letting his friends go with a warning and bringing him home. Then he went and saved me from physically assaulting my mother. That would have gone over great if the neighbors called the police. He would have probably been the officer to bring me down to the station—I’m sure she would have tried to press charges against me just to spite me.
I can’t be completely honest with him about who I am or what I do after hours at the club, and when he leaves here sometimes, like tonight…the best I can do is give him a warning because he can never find out the real truth why us together is a bad idea.
“You want to be with me but I need to be upfront with you.” I finally look up into his eyes, so kind… I smooth my hand over the tears on his shirt. “I’m not perfect, far from it. What my mother said about you wising up and realizing the things happening in my life are not for you is more than likely going to happen.” I bite my lip, waiting for him to just agree with me now and leave.
For several nerve-racking minutes, he says nothing. He stares at me, then a small smile pulls at his lips, as he runs his thumb over my lower lip pulling it from between my teeth. And his eyes take on another light, as he gently rubs his thumb back and forth wiping away the moisture. My breath hitches and I tilt my head up, wanting him to press his lips against mine to reassure me he’s not ready to walk out just yet.
He leans in closer and says, “I’m not looking for perfect, Lexi. I just want to get to know you better.”
“But what if you don’t like the person you see?”
“The person I see right now is a person who’s trying to keep her family together. Trying to please everyone at the expense of her own needs, maybe? That tells me enough about you. for now.”
He leans down, capturing my mouth in a gentle kiss that escalates quickly into wet tongues pressed against each other, caressing and stroking. Our breaths mingle, panting, as we move together, hands roaming over each other, in deep sighs as I’m pressed against the door, trying to catch my breath when he pulls back.
“No.” I move forward chasing his lips, not even close to going where I want to take this. I grab his hips giving him permission to rub against me. I rub my thigh between his legs, feeling his hard as-steel bulging erection against the thin fabric of his uniform.
