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I felt a pang, almost like a recoil from the statement Aaron had just included me in. Then I remembered that I was just like him, a bachelor who wasn’t tied down by teething or feeling bad about trying to trade a bath for sex or some crap like that.
I was wild and free, and only interested in no strings attached sex. That was—not something that sounded appealing at all. I hesitated too long. I was in my head. I was thinking about the difference between spending my days with a wife and family I loved and wanted versus spending my nights alone with the freedom to have spicy wing farts if I wanted to. Maybe that’s the dream lifestyle for a tenth grader, or a guy just out of college. I was a grown man. For the first time I felt like an idiot for acting like my one-night stands and stubborn bachelorhood were aspirational. Or like I was better than my friends for not settling down. Even if they knew I was joking, it was conceited. I knew how I sounded.
“Man, you okay?” Aaron asked.
I coughed and blinked. “Thought I choked on a chip, sorry. Yeah. I’m in for banging, never hanging,” I said.
Aaron snorted. “We’re single. We’re not thirteen,” he said. “Please don’t ever rhyme like that again.”
“Agreed,” I said, feeling awkward which was out of character for me. I was sure of myself and my worth. I was not envious of my married friends who were so damn happy with their wives and their kids. I was not rethinking my choices. I was especially not doing either of those things because of a student who was now my intern. I looked at Hamilton, who had fought the good fight and still caved and hooked up with his intern and married her. That was all kinds of complicated, and I didn’t want to deal with any of it.
As a matter of fact, that had been my guiding principle in my personal life for over a decade: My convenience was the most important thing. I didn’t go uptown to meet a woman for drinks. I didn’t change my training appointment at the gym to accommodate anyone else’s schedule. I did things my way and if a woman fit into that, we spent a little time together and I moved on. That sounded so selfish and bleak that it almost took my breath away. I finished my beer and went to buy a round for the guys while the conversation drifted into sports and whose team was a bunch of losers.
When I returned with the pitcher of beer and some wings for Aaron, he winked at me. “You’re a good boyfriend, Ricky,” he laughed.
“I will a hundred percent dump these hot wings in your lap,” I warned.
“Ooh, cowboy likes it rough,” he laughed.
“What is wrong with you?” I shook my head and dumped the basket of wings in front of him. Drake grabbed one and took a bite. He put it down and looked at it.
“Too spicy for you, old man?” I asked, making an effort to be my wisecracking asshole self so they wouldn’t suspect I was having some kind of identity crisis about being alone until I died.
“So what was the look for when you fake choked a minute ago?” Hamilton asked.
“What?” I replied.
“You’re seeing someone,” Kyle put in. “Otherwise you would’ve jumped on Aaron’s opening to say vile and cliché things about female anatomy. We know you. You’ve gone soft and it’s over a girl.”
“Details,” Hamilton demanded. “No denying it. We saw you pause. In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve never hesitated over anything. Not even when you should have. You go in with guns blazing and if someone’s offended, tough shit. So when you’re being reserved or discreet, either the zombie apocalypse is upon us or you’ve got something to hide.”
“You are such a lawyer,” I said. “I’m not seeing anyone, for your information. I’m—”
“I noticed it too,” Drake said.
“Holy shit,” Kyle put in. “And you’re protesting. You’re definitely into someone. Who is she?”
“I want the dirty details,” Aaron said. “Especially if I’m going to be the lone bachelor in the group.”
“Bullshit. There’s no details to give because there’s no girl.”
“You’re the one bullshitting, brother,” Hamilton said, leveling me with a look that had probably broken many witnesses who thought they were doing just fine denying everything on the stand in court.
“Whatever,” I said. “Make up any story you want, but it’s bullshit. I’m not seeing anyone. I’m as single as ever and I plan to stay that way. Bachelors for life,” I said, overstating it a bit and charging my glass for Aaron to clink with his own.
“Yeah, no you’re definitely hiding something. That was weak as fuck,” he said, rejecting my toast, bewildered.
“You can tell us, Rick,” Kyle said, “and we’ll be just as understanding and gracious as you were to us.”
“That’s a threat if I ever heard one,” Drake laughed. The other guys joined in and laughed.
Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in my chair and looked around. What were the odds? Hailey and Maria walked in the door at that moment. “Shit,” I muttered and tried to duck down. My sister spotted me, and they made a beeline for us.
“Mi hermano mejor!” Maria squealed, squeezing my neck as if she hadn’t seen me the day before, “What are you doing here?”
“Having a drink. Kyle, Drake, Hamilton, Aaron, you remember my baby sister Maria, and this is her friend Hailey,” I said, and considered my duty done. I took a drink of my beer and wished like hell it was something stronger.
Kyle dragged over a couple of chairs for them to join us while I silently cursed him. I didn’t want to deal with this. I was glad to see my sister, but I didn’t need to be at a table with Hailey. I might betray something, or she or Maria might say something and then my friends would realize was a fucking hypocrite I was. Sitting there with stars in my eyes over a damn student when I knew better. I should’ve taken a sabbatical this semester and gone somewhere to finish my MBA or be far from Berkley so I wouldn’t be in this situation.
