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“Is he going to prison? Because that never works out. I listened to this one podcast about a serial killer –”
“Stop!” I said. “It’s not cut and dry like that. It’s just too complicated.”
“Then you have to uncomplicate it.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Whatever’s standing in the way, bulldoze it. If you want him, get him. If you really like him that much, then who cares? Just go for it,” she said.
I wanted to hug her and also run out of the diner because I didn’t deserve the kind of loyalty and encouragement she gave me.
I doubted seriously that she’d be so supportive if she knew who I was crazy about and why it wouldn’t work out between us. She’d tell me to stop trying to pick up guys at her family reunions and maybe work on my daddy issues instead of hooking up with an older man who’s my boss and teacher. I cringed inwardly. It would not go well, telling her the whole truth. She wouldn’t be wrong either. I had no business getting personal with her brother behind her back, even if we were consenting adults. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. What the hell had I gotten myself into?
CHAPTER24
RICK
We hadn’t even finished filling our plates when my mom started in about grandbabies.
“Ricardo, when are you gonna give me a little baby to rock and cuddle? You’re gonna be forty any time now,” she chided as she heaped rice on my plate.
“I’ve been busy with work, and I’m not married, which you may have noticed.”
“Ai, I have noticed that and prayed for you to see that you need a wife. You need to find a nice girl and settle down and have a lot of babies. Cute, fat babies like your sister.”
“Uh, Ma, I’m not having cute, fat babies. I don’t even have a goldfish,” Maria said.
“Youwerea cute, fat baby. Ask your brother. He thought you were the greatest thing. I thought for sure since he was so taken with you that he would want a dozen of his own when the time came, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe your brother got his fill of babies when he helped take care of you. The age difference between you two—it must have just been enough to fulfill his fatherly instincts.”
“Men don’t have those. It’s just maternal instincts. Men have an instinct to mate and get all the females pregnant,” Maria said.
“Maria Francisca Esperanza, don’t say such talk at my table, trash mouth.”
“Pregnant isn’t a bad word,” I said, taking up for her as I always did. “But the biological imperative to reproduce is just outdated. We’re not in a situation where the population will die out if we don’t keep breeding to do our part. There are plenty of people on the planet, and I think of REM as my baby. One I started from the beginning, and I’m proud of it.”
“You gonna get a Father’s Day card from your HR department, son?” she quipped, and I laughed.
“You have a point, but I’m not in the market for a wife and kids just yet. Take it easy on me.”
“Do you think you need to get richer before you settle down? You got enough money for three lifetimes. You don’t let your papa and me pay for anything and your sister never wants for help either. Do something for yourself, like buy a nice engagement ring and give it to a good Catholic girl with strong hips.”
“Oh my God, Ma!” Maria said. “We are not gonna talk about birthing hips at the table. Or you have to take back calling me a trash mouth for saying pregnant when we all know you’re talking about whether your possible future daughter in law can push out an entire human through her—”
“No more talking of private parts at the dinner table!” my dad burst out and I had to cover my mouth with my napkin to keep from laughing. Maria kicked me under the table. I knew if I looked at her, we’d both laugh.
I stood up and started clearing plates to escape the marriage/procreation/private parts conversation with my mother. Maria followed me with more dishes, and we stood side by side at the sink where I’d washed so many dishes growing up.
“You know Mom doesn’t mean anything by it, about the pressure to get married and have kids. She just wants you to have everything you want. If you don’t intend to do that, get married and have a family, just tell her. She’ll make noise about it, but you know she’ll support you. They are so crazy proud of you already. They’re not going to think less of you.”
“Thanks,” I said. “It isn’t that I don’t want those things. It’s just that everything’s weird right now.”
“Why is everything weird? Is Mercury in retrograde or what?” she scoffed, drying a pan.
I acted very absorbed with scouring the pot I was scrubbing. She elbowed me.
“Are you seeing someone? Is that why it’s strange to talk about marriage and kids?”
When I waited ten seconds to answer because I was trying to figure out what to say, she crowed with laughter. “You are! You’re seeing somebody!”
