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“I’ve lived here for about seven years. It’s a friendly town—small, but it’s only twenty minutes from Cincinnati. Anything you can’t find here, you can find there.”
Dunbar and I moved to Alexandria together and lived as roommates. When he discovered his girlfriend was pregnant, he moved out to live with her. They hadn’t been together long and his girlfriend took off after the birth, leaving him with a newborn. We both assumed she panicked and wouldn’t be gone long, but she never returned.
Months of stress from a new baby, combined with being thrust into single-fatherhood, wore Dunbar down. When Rainey was a few months old, something felt noticeably off with my brother. He wrote it off as exhaustion. With no other relatives to help, I pitched in as much as my work schedule allowed, but sometimes my long hours at the office kept me from seeing Dunbar and stealing snuggles from my precious niece as often as I’d like.
After Rainey turned six months old, I took a vacation day off work as a surprise for my brother. I planned to watch my niece and give him time alone to get out and do whatever he wanted. When I stopped by his apartment, I keyed in and found Dunbar with his daughter in his arms in a recliner semi-conscious. The apartment was in complete disarray.
My surprise backfired hard, and I spent most of my vacation day furiously scrubbing every inch of the filthy apartment while my brother slept off whatever he was on. It was the first time Iknewmy brother was using. Over the last six years, his choices have broken my heart into a million pieces. I now live with a low-grade anxiety that the next phone call will be the one—my brother will be gone and there’ll be nothing I can do.
I release the nasty flashback and catch the end of Logan’s question about where I work. “I work in Cincy.” It comes out louder than I mean it to, and the librarian shushes me.
“What do you do for work?” Logan asks in a lowered voice, avoiding the public admonishment I just received.
How much should I tell him about my life?I work in graphic design and my life is in shambles because my brother is a deadbeat asshole who can’t stay out of jail and, oh by the way, I’ve got custody of my niece for the next who-knows-how-long.Yeah, it’s not an appropriate answer. Seeing Logan’s face may have been worth it, though.
“I work in graphic design,” I share.
I pitch the question back to Logan and a flash of sadness and disappointment is unmistakable on his face. “I’m between jobs right now.”
Clearly a hot button topic, I impress myself with my ability to hold back from assaulting Logan with dozens of questions. A lull settles into our conversation, and I use the time to wrap up my email draft. Minutes later, the librarian stands and signals the end of story hour. Before turning the kids loose, she reminds parents next week’s story hour will celebrate the start of a new school year at Liberty Elementary—the elementary school is just across the street from the library.
Rainey wastes no time. She’s all smiles and by my side, with the girl Logan brought in lagging behind. The cherub-cheeked girl glues herself to Logan, and he works at pulling her arms through the sleeves of a jacket. Today is cooler than normal. Should I have brought Rainey’s jacket?
“Noah, this is my daughter, Maggie. Say ‘hi,’ Maggie.”
Maggie is much shyer than I-make-friends-everywhere-I-go-Rainey, but she squeaks out a greeting.
“It’s nice to meet you. This is Rainey.” I introduce my niece to them both and smile at the little girl.
Rainey glances up at me with a puzzled look. “We already met. We did story hour together.”
“You’re right,” I agree. “It was nice meeting you both, but Rainey and I need to head home.”
We make our way toward the exit, Rainey’s hand in mine. Right before I emerge outdoors, I remember my desire to get Rainey together with kids her age, and I’m hit with an idea. I spin around and slam square into something solid. Logan and Maggie’s proximity to me was closer than I thought, and I just formally introduced my face to his chest.
A resoundingoofleaves my mouth as I bounce off of Logan. I avoid wiping out and open my mouth to apologize. “Oh my God! I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were this close.” My face heats like molten lava. My mortification compounds when other parents and kids start trying to squeeze by us.
Logan’s first response is concern, followed by an apology of his own. “Seems like we’re all okay except for dying from embarrassment,” he assures me before stepping to the side and walking around me to leave. He’s a few steps ahead of me when my word vomit projects itself at the back of his head.
“I stopped to ask if Maggie wanted to get together with Rainey for a playdate.” I tentatively call after Logan, my heart still thudding from our encounter.
He lets me catch up before answering, “I’m sure she’d love that.” His daughter nods in agreement before hiding behind her father.
“When and where?”
“Tomorrow? 4 p.m. at Liberty’s playground?”
“It’s a date,” Logan confirms.
I shift my stance and clarify, “Aplaydate. See you then.”
Rainey pulls me down the sidewalk on a mission to find the car, complaining she wants a snack the entire way. My mind is stuck on Logan’s gorgeous dark eyes and his brilliant smile. Maybe a playdate was a dangerous idea.
Approaching the car, I quickly decide I need to cancel the playdate. Logan’s already stirring something distracting in me, but my priorities have never been this clear. I want Rainey to make a new friend, but I need to keep my mind focused on her guardianship—there’s no room for romance or whatever else my body may want.
“Let’s go, Aunt Noah!” Rainey whines, grating on my ears.
I glance back, hoping to see that Logan’s still nearby. I’ll explain I forgot something important I have to do tomorrow and suggest we reschedule. It would be an honest excuse to pause the playdate, at least until my interview is over. Logan and Maggie are nowhere to be seen, dashing my hopes of canceling because I have no way to contact them.
