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“Whatever,” she sighs, waving my comment away with her hand.
Everyone chips in to put the leftover pizza away and tackle the rest of my lunch mess. Maggie’s dropping her plate into the sink when she casts me a serious look.
“Remember the song Mom sings when we wash dishes?” Maggie asks.
Noah’s head snaps up, and she glares at me. Maggie’s mistake in verb tense drains the color from my face and drops my heart into my stomach. I love how she remembers these little things about her mom, but my fingers grip the counter to keep me standing when Maggie references her mother still in present tense. It’s a stabbing reminder that Hannah will forever be past tense for both of us.
I throw my energy into a smile and join my daughter at the sink, humming along to her mother’s song as we finish cleaning up. I didn’t return Noah’s look, knowing I should explain everything to her later when the girls aren’t listening. It’s not a conversation I’m eager to have.
With the kitchen cleaned, I direct everyone into the living room. Rainey sits on the floor swiping a feathery cat toy back and forth. “How about a movie?” I look from Maggie to Rainey for a response.
Noah stands. “Actually, we’ve got to go. Get your jacket, Rainey.” They disappear out the door before I can say a proper goodbye.
The playdate ends in tension I don’t fully understand. Does Noah think I’m upset about her misspoken words? Her face when she realized what she’d said was priceless. And I sent back an equally pervtastic—and hilarious—text as a response to her the first time it happened.
My shoulders slump when I recall how much my body appreciated her comment. My wife hasn’t even been gone a year and here I am getting a hard-on over a smart-mouthed woman. I’m even more disgusted with myself when I think of my actions in that perspective. Nothing can happen between the two of us, but I still want to be Noah’s friend. Who couldn’t use a sailor-mouthed pervert with a genuine heart of gold as their friend?
After rip-roaring with Rainey all afternoon, Maggie loses the battle to stay up and watch a movie with me, nodding off immediately. I tuck her in and make a nest for myself in one of Paul’s old recliners. Cable’s ungodly expensive, so I relish in the luxury of a $15/month streaming service. I’ll go nuts without something to keep me entertained while Maggie’s in bed, and my childless friends are out doing god knows what on a Saturday night.
I flip through dozens of movie titles before I’m overwhelmed and settle on a classic:You’ve Got Mail.I’ve not seen it in years, but in the pecking order of nineties romantic leads, Tom Hanks ranks among the best. Meg Ryan’s character turns on her computer, and I wrestle with the thought of texting Noah. I hate the way she left, and I don’t want things to be awkward. Maybe I can clear the air and we can move past this weird tension.
Logan: Thanks for bringing Rainey. Maggie had a great time.
I’ve received no response by the time Dave Chappelle’s character looks in on Kathleen Kelly in the cafe, waiting for her unknown correspondent. How the hell did Dave Chappelle end up in a rom-com movie?
Logan: My interview’s Monday. Maybe we could let the girls work off some energy at the Reservoir park on Tuesday evening?
Crickets. Noah responds to my late night texts quickly, so I worry when I don’t hear back.
Logan: Sorry for all the texts. Did you make it home?
Noah’s response is immediate.
Playdate Noah: I’m fine. Please leave me alone.
What the hell? Her response, tinged by anger, isn’t what I expected from someone ignoring me out of embarrassment.
Logan: What’s wrong?
A speech bubble appears while Noah types, and then her text appears below my question.
Playdate Noah: Idk, maybe you should ask your wife.
Shit.
Logan: We need to talk. It’s not what you think.
Playdate Noah: I’m good, Logan. Have a great night.
She completely misinterpreted Maggie’s comment about her mom and this knowledge knocks me flat on my back. What am I supposed to do now?
Chapter 14
Noah
Thedouble-takeIgaveLogan’s ring finger as I rushed Rainey out his door told me everything I need to know. There wasn’t a ring on it, but there sure was a lighter band of skin where a ring should’ve sat. Nothing’s happened between us, but I feel duped by his omission. The feeling lights a blaze inside me that pops and crackles the entire drive home.
I’m done with Logan. I won’t prevent Rainey and Maggie from playing together—I can’t fathom being the person who doesn’t allow her kid to play with another child because of the parent. I experienced plenty of that in foster care.Oh look, here comes Noah—you guys go find someone else to play with.No, I won’t do that, but I’m done making friends with Logan. He said he wanted us to be friends, but friends don’t spend time with you and flirt when they’re secretly married. Friends don’t talk about theirmeat. And friends don’t fucking lie.
