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An uncomfortable hush settles between us, with neither of us knowing what’s left to be said. Noah takes a sip of her ice water, and I search for words to continue our conversation. I can’t come up with anything eloquent, so I just plainly say what I’m thinking. “I don’t want this to be weird—I’m not mad at you. I hope you can respect why I wanted to do this face to face.”
Noah pushes back from the table. “Logan, youshouldbe mad at me. I’m an asshole.” She crosses her arms and her eyes explore the restaurant, dancing from table to table as she considers her next sentence. “I understand if you don’t want to continue our friendship. I can’t blame you—what I said was rotten. Just, please, please don’t stop Maggie and Rainey from playing together.” Her bottom lip quivers, slight enough that no one should have noticed, but I do.
I thoughtlessly reach across the small table we share and wipe away the tear running down her face. Realizing she may not have wanted me to touch her, I look away.
“Sorry,” I whisper.
“No.I’msorry. This isn’t who I am. I can’t believe I assumed the worst when I heard Maggie’s comment.” She sighs, “Who wants a friend like that?”
Another tear drips from her eye, but I leave it for her to manage.
“It’s fine, I promise. I was never upset about your assumption, Noah. That’s what people do when they don’t know someone—they assume. I was terrified you’d never give me the chance to correct your assumption.” Grateful for the chance at a fresh start, I place my hand over hers. “What I’d really love is to put this situation behind us.”
She nods. “And, please,” I add, “No more talk of me not letting Maggie play with Rainey. That’s not the parent I am, nor the example I want to set for my daughter.” She nods again, sadness looming on her face.
“Thanks.”
Our server approaches the table with our dinners. With the challenging part of our meeting behind us, I’m starving. Noah pushes the chicken and pasta back and forth on her plate, not even making a dent in it. I’m halfway finished with my burger and fries before I say another word.
“I have a question for you.”
“Yeah?” She looks up from her plate.
“You know about my relationship status. I want to hear aboutyours.”
She brightens, cheekily asking, “What do you want to know?”
“Got a boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Fiance?”
“No.”
“Husband?”
“Definitely not.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Nope. Not my type.”
“Then what’s your story?”
“There is nostory.I’m single.” She shrugs before adding, “Have been for a while. It’s tough to date with the hours I work. And now, with Rainey, it’s just not the right time.”
Even with no plans to pursue Noah, this update emboldens me. No partner to plan playdates around, I reason.
With the tension of my past no longer holding us hostage, the conversation flows more freely. I ask how school’s going for Rainey, remembering the rough start she had. Noah asks how my job interview went. Worried the topic will sour the rest of the evening, I fake a smile and say the interview went well. I don’t mention that the company declined to hire me.
Noah sees through my bullshit and challenges me.
“Tell me what’s really going on.”
I’m sulky when I explain how well I felt the interview went. I’d felt instantly able to relax and share the knowledge I’d bring to the table, having worked on similar projects in California. I’d be an asset for their team. A certainty in my bones told me this job wasit, setting my expectations through the roof.
Instead of a job offer, I received an email alerting me the company went a different direction and hired internally. Replaying the moment I read the message, defeat pours over me again. I’d been depending on this job coming through. Alexandria has no jobs along these lines to offer, and while Cincinnati has a considerably higher number of opportunities, I’m not getting any reciprocation of my interest in the positions. My resume and cover letters are golden, but my employment gap is damning.
