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Izabeth fights to contain her fury when she steps inside and sees the aftermath for herself. My description didn’t prepare her. She covers her gaping mouth with her hand, as she works to avoid stepping on everything covering my floors.
We straighten a lot of the kitchen up, making it at least usable again, and we thoroughly work to clean up any glass we find from the wrecked coffee table.
“Anyone home?” A deep voice calls from my foyer, momentarily confusing me. Logan’s at work, and I don’t think my brother’s dumb enough to show back up this quickly. Izabeth continues picking up pieces of broken toys smashed into carpet fibers in Rainey’s bedroom while I check on my visitor.
I see Paul’s wide smile tucked under the brim of his city-issued baseball cap with the town logo embroidered on it.
“Thought I’d stop by and see how things were coming along. Hope I’m not intruding.”
I cringe at his choice of words, but welcome him inside to see the work remaining.
“Noah? Who was at the do—” Izabeth appears at the top step, and her eyebrows raise at the sight of Paul and I now standing in my living room.
“Izabeth.” Paul acknowledges her with a tip of his hat. “It’s been a while.”
“Erm—” Iz’s voice catches in her throat as she crosses her arms, seemingly trying to decide if she should stay where she is or come downstairs. With purposefully slow steps, she descends and joins Paul and I near the couch.
“Is there anything I can do to help today?” Paul kindly asks, which I can’t help but notice causes Izabeth’s jaw to clench. We’ve barely scratched the surface of the work to be done, so I’m thrilled for any help I can get.
“We’re good,” Iz states, not taking her eyes off Paul, before I can accept his invitation to pitch in. I swing my head and flash her awhat-the-actual-fucklook that she returns with a clearplease-don’t-press-this-right-nowexpression. I thank Paul for his offer and let the strange feel in the air go. Izabeth has some explaining to do when my life isn’t melting down around me.
By 11:30 a.m., my twisting gut won’t allow me to spend another minute in my house. With my stress projecting onto Izabeth, she kicks me out of my own home so that she can work while I meet Logan. I’m obnoxiously early, my foot won’t stop jiggling, and a couple of my nails are bleeding from the biting and picking I’ve inflicted on my cuticles. The bell at the cafe entrance chimes, causing my head to shoot up and my heart rate to skyrocket as Logan makes his way to my table. I selected the table farthest away from the register and other customers. The to-go cup of coffee I’ve been nursing sits empty on the tabletop.
I don’t know if I should stand and greet him, or if that will feel forced. Unable to choose, I remain seated and watch him pull out the chair across from me. The gorgeous dark eyes that’ve entranced me since the first time they met mine in the library are red and ringed by circles almost as dark as his pupils. We must look like quite the shitty pair.
“Thanks for meeting me,” he says. He can’t meet my eyes, a stern reminder he’s probably not here to deliver good news. “I guess I’ll start, since I asked you to come.” He stares at something across the room, seeming to collect the words he wants to say. I sit quietly with my hands folded on the table, praying I’ve cried all the tears my body can make today. His shoulders drop when he talks. “This week has been fucking terrible,” he begins.
“Taking Maggie to the library and running into you last fall is one of the best things to happen to me. My depression was still pretty dark, and I was barely leaving the farm, but becoming your friend was a turning point.” He gazes away. “Maybe for Maggie, too.”
My brain is unbearably loud, begging me to tell him it was just as important to me. I sew my tongue to the roof of my mouth, determined to not interrupt. He came here to say something, and he deserves to say it without my interjections.
“As Maggie and Rainey became buddies, I gained a friend, too.” He allows one side of his mouth to turn upward. “You’re kind. You’re awkwardly funny. And you’re really fucking beautiful, which constantly drove me crazy.” I listen intently to words he’s never shared out loud.
“When I was evicted, you allowed my daughter and me to move into your home. We could have easily gone back to the farm, but your place gave us the space we needed to keep moving forward. You paid me to take care of your niece when I would have done it for free.” His eyes travel back and forth across our table top, but don’t look at me. “Rainey’s an amazing kid.”
“She is.” I loosen my tongue to agree.
“The things that make you wonderful also made it impossible for me to only be your roommate.” His hands fidget with my empty coffee cup. “I tried only being your friend, because I still was—am—working through my grief. But I fell in love with you.”
I’m certain I misheard the words Logan just uttered. He’s looking straight at me now, taking in my shocked expression.
“Yes, Noah. I fell in love with you,” Logan confirms. “But, just like me, you have baggage.” His words are factual, not at all condescending. “When I think about the fact you’ve taken your niece in and become her guardian, even though you never wanted kids, I’m awestruck. I don’t understand, but when I watch you continue to work for a relationship with your brother, I appreciate your persistence. When I think back over the last five months we’ve known each other, I’m thankful you and Rainey came into mine and Maggie’s lives.”
Here we go. It’s time to let me down, and no matter how hard he tries, it won’t be easy for me. He takes a deep breath and pushes away the coffee cup he’s fidgeted with. Reaching out and grabbing my hand, he intertwines his fingers with mine.
“I have to move out, Noah.” My bottom lip quivers at his words. “I love us, but I can’t in good conscience allow Maggie any more exposure to your brother and what he’s doing to your life. To be honest, I can’t keep watching you take what he’s putting you through. It’s affecting my own mental health. I can’t risk that, I’ve got a daughter to raise.”
I pull my hand away from his and cover my face with both of my own, waiting for the rest of what he has to say.
“I’ve been saving most of the money I’ve made since starting my job. I’m going to look for a place, but I’m moving Maggie and I back to the farm for now.”
I want to be angry at him for the decision he’s made, but I’m not. He’s doing the right thing and protecting his daughter.
Both of our phones ding with a notification alert, breaking our eye contact. Paul looped us in a group text.
Paul: One of my boys just picked up Dunbar and his friend. We’re booking them on breaking & entering, trespassing, and burglary.
When I finish reading, Logan’s eyes are already trained on me. I’m relieved to know that, at least for today, Dunbar’s behind bars again. The four of us are safe.
