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Aiden stares at me, watching my reaction, but his expression remains blank and unreadable, not giving me any indication of what’s to come. “I met Mark—or Barrett—during training. We were in the same intake.”
I bite my tongue as I feel my blood pressure rise as I realize that both AidenandBarrett had lied to me. It wasn’t overt, but a lie by omission was still a lie.
When I saw Barrett at the airport, either one of them could’ve enlightened me. It might’ve explained Aiden’s reaction to him. Even after we’d left and gone back to my apartment, he had every opportunity to tell me the truth then, but he didn’t. Worse still, Aiden has avoided any questions I’ve had about how he knew Barrett since then.
I concentrate on the inhale and then steady exhale as I suck in a slow deep breath, trying to cool my jets and get a tentative hold on my emotions. Especially since right now, I’m not sure I trust myself not to say something I’ll come to regret.
Aiden’s eyes soften with regret. “I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t put two and two together to begin with. And I didn't make the connection between the man you knew as Barrett Matthews and the same man I knew as Mark Lucas. Not straight away, anyway."
“You did at the airport though,” I shoot back.
"Yes. But I also didn't know if you were a part of the case he was working on or just another one of his conquests. Either way, I wasn't about to say anything until I knew more.” Okay,thatI can accept. Maybe…
“Conquests?”
He grits his teeth. “Ihatethat he’s touched you, but you’re also not the first woman in my life that he’s hurt.”
Of all the things I’d expected him to say,thatwasn't it. I open my mouth to say something, to defend the man I've come to care about more than I thought possible, and berate Aiden for lying to me just the same as Barrett had done, but the words on my tongue fade away when what he just said sinks in. “What?” I whisper, my heart shattering into a million pieces right there in front of him.
Aiden leans forward to rest his elbows on his thighs, the beer bottle in his hand hanging slack in front of him. “Christy was in our class. Two months into our training, she and I started dating.” Aiden takes another drink and swallows down hard before continuing. “It was intense, and I fell hard and fast.”
The silence stretches between us. How uncanny was it that Aiden and Barrett not only knew each other, but that by some serendipitous coincidence, they also both came to be involved with me? It’s like history repeating itself for Aiden and I feel my anger and frustration fading.
“Lucas and I were friends. We shared a room and did pretty mucheverythingtogether. What I didn’t know at the time was that he was also sleeping with Christy.”
Thatgets a reaction out of me.
“No . . .” I say, my hand covering my mouth and it all starts to make sense—Aiden’s anger towards Barrett, his staunch protection of me, and the emotional distance he put between us since he realized that Mark Lucas—Barrett Matthews—was the same man I’d met in Vegas.
“So, suffice to say, I don’t trust that man as far as I can fucking throw him.”
I frown, wondering if this goes deeper than just unwittingly sharing a girlfriend and having history repeat itself. “Isthatwhy you left the FBI?”
“No, Aly. I meant it when I said it wasn’t for me. Leaving Christy and Lucas behind was just a bonus."
It's then I make a decision. I place my glass on the coffee table in front of me and move around the room to sit next to Aiden.
Reaching over, I grab his beer and put it down out of the way before I tangle my fingers with his before pulling them into my lap, cradling his hand in mine. in my hands. “I’m sorry,” I say, my words holding more weight than either of us realize.
He flexes his grip and I lift my head to meet his eyes, the depth of emotion I see in them hitting me square in the chest. “I’m sorry I lied,” he says, his voice back to being warm and gentle.Now this is the Aiden I know.“You mean more to me than she ever did, and I can’t stand the idea of losing someone important to me again. Not to him. And definitely not fucking you, Aly.” He squeezes my hand one more time. “Not sure I’d survive that.”
I know nothing I can say will reassure him right now. I could offer false promises that I’m done with Barrett, but that would be a lie and Aiden deserves nothing but the truth from me.
Standing up, I pull on his hand until he rises to his feet in front of me.
“Take me to bed, Aiden,” I say softly, looping my arms around his neck and lifting on my toes to brush my lips over his. His hands grab hold of my hips and pull me hard against him as he crushes his mouth to mine, driving his tongue inside with a guttural groan.
He cups my ass and picks me up. Wrapping my legs around his back, I tangle my fingers into his hair and hold his lips to mine as he carries me out into the hallway, and down into his bedroom.
I’m not thinking clearly, I know that. But he pulled at the loose strings of my heart, rendering me incapable of keeping my head—or emotions–in check. Instead, I follow my gut and ignore my head, seeking physical comfort from the man who has always made me feel safe and grounded.
In the back of my mind, I know it's unfair to give myself to Aiden and sleep with him when I haven't made any decisions one way or another about who I want to be with and to who my heart truly belongs. The rational part of my brain seems to disappear when I'm alone with either man. And although I know in my heart that I shouldn't be with anyone when I clearly have strong feelings for two very different men, I simply can't control or rationalize the raw, passionate emotions overwhelming me right now.
“Stop thinking, Aly,” Aiden growls against my mouth before dragging his lips down over my jaw, covering my neck with wet open-mouthed kisses and setting my entire body ablaze. It’s as if something snaps inside of us and we just have to have each other, feel each other and be together. When he sucks hard on the sensitive skin of my collarbone, I lose it.
Easing me down onto the bed, our teeth crash together as we hold tighter, pull closer, and kiss deeper. I pull his t-shirt up and over his head before he rips my shirt open, buttons flying off everywhere before he dips his head and sucks my nipple through the thin lace of my bra.
When we’re finally skin to skin and a thin sheen of sweat covers our bodies, he takes care of protection and slowly pushes inside me. My back arches, welcoming the intimacy and closeness. I outwardly soar while burying all of the emotional turmoil as it collides and overwhelms me. I don’t hide my tears as they start to fall, and Aiden doesn’t say a word about it either, he just silently wipes them away before dropping his forehead to mine and kissing me deep and slow, pouring everything into the kiss as he gives me everything he has and brings us both to a simultaneous climax. I cry out his name in a whimper as he buries his face in my neck and groans three words I try to block out of my mind as they imprint themselves on my soul.
