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The girls stumble to the kitchen laughing. I’m sure to make themselves another drink. They’re not drunk, but they’ve had a few. We all have. I usually don’t when I’m around her and the others at the same time, for fear that I might slip up, but tonight, I needed an excuse to stay.
Yeah, I know I said I can’t make myself walk out the door. That’s because I don’t plan to. I’m going to sleep under the same roof as her. I might get lucky and sneak a kiss once everyone else is asleep, but it’s enough to know we’re here together.
I’ve lost my mind for this woman, and honestly, I wouldn’t change it. I’d rather we not have to hide, but that’s coming. We have a plan, and until then, well, I’ll just have a few so I can’t drive home.
“That’s my gift,” Forrest says.
“What?” I turn to look at my best friend. We’ve had a few drinks. Did he have more than I think he did?
“Seeing my little sister happy. Fuck, Rome, I want so much for her. The guilt I carry about leaving her in that house with them haunts me.”
“She’s here, and she’s safe. She’s healthy. She’s happy.” I’ll make damn sure of all three.
“She was eight when I moved out. I knew they weren’t hurting her, but I also knew she was neglected, and having to see them drunk all the time, laying in their own vomit, the fights she had to hear.”
My chest tightens. I’ve heard this all before, but it hits a little differently when the person you’re talking about owns your heart.
“I want so much for her, you know? I want her to have a successful career. Hell, as bad as I hate to say it, I’d be okay with her getting out of this sleepy little town of Ashby. They’re leaving her alone, and I don’t think they’ll ever reach out to either of us. They know we won’t give them money for their booze, not now that we’re both adults, and they have no say in our lives. But to move away and forget those moments, I want that for her, even though I’ll miss the fuck out of her.”
“She seems to be well adjusted to me.” I can’t tell him I’ve spent hours and hours on the phone with her. She’s talked about her parents, and how she thinks she needs to repay Forrest for all that he’s done for her. Both feel a sense of owing the other. It’s obvious the two of them need to sit down and talk about it.
“She is.” He nods. “She’s fucking thriving,” he says, speaking my earlier thoughts out loud.
“She is,” I agree.
“I want more for her than this little, small town, Rome. I want her to marry a doctor or some shit. Maybe she’ll meet one once she starts her new job? I want her to have everything she missed out on. I want her to be spoiled and pampered. She didn’t get that.”
“You gave her that,” I tell him. Internally I’m screaming at him, telling him thatIam that man. I will bust my ass every fucking day to give her everything she ever dreamed of. The words are on the tip of my tongue.
“I tried, but she still lived without it for eighteen fucking years. Weekends with me, with us at that shop, weren’t enough.”
Panic rises in my chest. “She’s happy, Forrest.” My mouth feels as if I’ve been chewing on rocks. It’s gritty and dry, as what he’s saying takes root in my mind.
He’s never going to approve of us together.
It doesn’t matter how much I love her. I’ll never be good enough for her.
He’ll never forgive either of us.
“Doesn’t matter. I want that for her. I’ll encourage her to reach for better.”
“Better than you?” I ask, feeling the walls starting to close in. “Better than the brother who loves her unconditionally and got her out as soon as he could? Better than the man who bought this big-ass house to give her the home she never had?”
“Yes.” His reply is instant and without hesitation.
“Bullshit.” I don’t bother to try to mask my anger.
He turns to look at me. “She’s my sister, Roman. You can call bullshit all you want. Until you walk in my shoes, you are in no place to judge me.”
“She’s happy. You did that, Forrest.” Me too, but I keep that to myself. “You got her out of there, gave her a home, helped her get a car, helped her navigate college. She’s well adjusted.” I pause, collecting myself. This time when I speak, I’m calmer. “You can’t dictate her life, man. That’s not fair to her or to you. That’s too much pressure. You got to live and make your own mistakes. She deserves that same right.”
“She does.” He nods. “However, I’m never going to stop pushing her toward the life she deserves.”
My heart thunders in my chest like a field of wild horses. “What happens when she brings a guy home you don’t approve of? What then? What happens when she falls in love with a man like you? The man who showed her what it feels like to love and protect your family?”
He shrugs. “I’ll disapprove. No way will she be with someone I disagree with. Our bond is too tight for that. I’m not going to let some lowlife come in and her end up in a life that I got her out of. No way.”
“What if he’s not a doctor but still a good man? A man that loves her.” I feel as though I just tore my heart out of my chest and handed it to him in the palm of my hand. I know what he’s going to say, but I asked him anyway. I’m not the kind of man he wants for his sister.
