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We both need to move forward.
“How was study group?” Monroe asks as I step into our apartment.
“Ugh,” I groan, and she laughs.
“If it makes you feel any better, mine sucked ass too. We’re almost there, Em.”
“I know. To make matters worse, Rome called. Gabe answered, and he was all ‘who was that.’” I roll my eyes.
“Told you. He’s lost in you.”
“He’s not supposed to be. He made the choice.”
“Hold up.” She raises her hands in the air. “The way you explained it to me, you didn’t fight him. In fact, you said that you agreed with him.”
“I did, but I fucking hate this, Roe. I don’t know how not to love him.”
Her face softens, and I hate the look of sympathy she’s giving me. “As an outsider looking in, maybe this is what you need.”
“How could tearing both of our hearts out be what we need? Well, my heart. I know he cares about me, but, Roe, I love him. This is not some schoolgirl crush on my brother's best friend. This is he owns my heart, my soul, my mind, hell, my body too.”
“Four months, Emerson. You’ll be away from him for four more months by the time we graduate and move back to Ashby. If in four months you’re both still feeling this… longing for each other, you need to reassess. I believe with everything inside of me that Rome is doing what he feels like is the right thing for you. He’s not worried about him, but he loves you, Emerson. You can’t see it. You’re too close to what’s going on, but I see the way he looks at you. I’ve heard the reverence in his voice when he calls you at night.”
“So, what? We hold out for the four months, and when we graduate and move back, we see where things go?”
“Something like that.” She grins. “I have a feeling that it’s all going to work out. Roman isn’t a man to give up so easily. The only reason he’s attempting to do so now is because he’s built it up in his mind that it’s the right thing to do.”
“What do you mean, attempt? We’re over.”
“Are you? He calls you every night before bed. He texts you multiple times a day. He refilled your prepaid card and sent you a card via snail mail to tell you. And what about that package of gas station snacks that arrived last week?”
“He’s just being nice.”
Monroe shakes her head. “He’s just taking care of the woman he loves, the only way he thinks that he’s allowed to.”
“Why, Roe? Why is this so hard?”
“Because the two of you are making it harder than it needs to be.”
I stick my tongue out at her, and she laughs at the same time as my phone rings. “It’s Roman. I was supposed to call him when I got home.”
“He’s worried about you.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I agree. But when you love someone, their ability doesn’t matter. You still worry. Answer it.”
“I need to start separating, right?”
“You already are. Don’t leave him hanging. I can see him now, pacing back and forth in his living room, running his hands through his hair. Debating on whether he needs to get into his truck and head this way.”
“Oh, shit.” My phone stops ringing. I immediately call him back. “Hey.”
“Baby girl, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I got home and started talking to Monroe and forgot to call you.”
He exhales loudly. “That’s good,” he says. I know he wants to say more, but my comment that he doesn’t have the right earlier is more than likely stopping him.
