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ChapterTwenty-Two
Emerson
Sitting on my bed, I stare at the boxes surrounding me. This place, a home I’ve shared with my best friend for the last three years, holds so many memories. I know how incredibly fortunate I am that we both went to the same school. Different fields of study but both in healthcare. I’m grateful to my big brother for helping me make this happen. I owe him so much. I also owe him an apology.
To say the last four months have been difficult is a gross understatement. I had big plans for myself, and for my future. They all included Roman, and suddenly, I had to let them go. I’m still figuring out how to do that, but what I have figured out is that I haven’t been fair to my brother.
He did nothing wrong. He loves me with everything he is, and I know he wants what’s best for me. That’s not a crime, and even if it were, he wouldn’t know that he committed it. He had no idea that Roman and I were together, and that’s on me. I chose to wait until I graduated. My fear held me back.
It wasn’t fear of losing Forrest in my life. Our bond, much like our anchor tattoos, is grounded the way only two kids who grew up with neglectful parents could be. I knew he would be upset, but I also knew he would eventually come around. My fear was that Roman would lose interest. I feared that the newness of what we were together would wear off.
I was wrong on both counts.
Every damn day that man sends me a good-morning and good-night text. I get messages all throughout the day telling me about his day, or just telling me he missed me. Even when I left him on read, without fail, his messages never stopped coming.
He’s coming today. They all are.
The guys of Everlasting Ink, my brother and his four best friends, have all been my biggest cheerleaders throughout life. Roman was always different for me. He became more, and today I see him face-to-face for the first time since I returned to school at the end of the Christmas break.
Four months should be enough time for a broken heart to heal, right?
My heart shouldn’t race at the thought of seeing him. I shouldn’t be hoping for a congratulations hug, just to hold him.
I tried. I truly tried to get over him. I even insisted we no longer talk every day on the phone, but he still called. Religiously, every other evening, my phone would ring, and like the lovesick fool I am for him, I answered. Sometimes I’d rush the conversation, and others I would pretend he was still mine.
That’s really what it comes down to. I want him to be mine.
Four months isn’t long enough for my heart to forget what it feels like to be his girl, and I’m almost certain, a lifetime won’t be either.
“Em! We need to go or we’re going to be late,” Monroe calls out.
I stand, grabbing my purse and my phone, and make my way toward the living room. “It’s hard to believe our lives are in these boxes.”
“Right? It’s going to be good to be home, though. We need to get started on looking for a place in Ashby. You know, moving back in with my parents is not my idea of a good time.” She laughs.
“Your parents are awesome. It’s not like they hover over you.”
“I know, and I feel selfish even saying this, but once you’re on your own, and you have to go back, it’s just… different.”
“You have nothing to feel selfish about. You’re lucky to have them, and I know I’m lucky to have Forrest. I don’t mind living with him, but the guys are always there, and some space is definitely going to be needed.”
“Are you sure space is what you need?”
“You think it’s not?”
“I think we’ve talked about this. When we move home, keep an open mind.”
There’s something she’s not saying, but we don’t have time to get into it right now. We’re going to be late.
“Emerson!” Forrest shouts.
I smile as I make my way through the crowd to my brother. As I get closer, I start to move faster until I’m at a dead run. He opens his arms and braces his legs apart to catch me, just as I knew he would.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, kid,” he whispers.
“Love you, Forty.”
“I love you too.” He holds me for a little longer before placing me on my feet.
