AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What is going on?” I asked abruptly.
Cadence turned around and smiled. “Oh gosh, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast. I didn’t figure you’d be back up at the house yet. Dammit,” she said, wiping her hands on the apron she wore before grabbing a fork and flipping the bacon. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”
My stomach was spinning as I watched her flip the greasy bacon strips in the pan. When I couldn’t stand the smell any longer, I headed back out the back door and sat down on the steps. I couldn’t be in there with that smell…that godawful smell.
A few minutes later, I heard the door open behind me and Cadence sat down next to me. Sliding her arm through mine, she leaned against my shoulder.
“Connor, did I… did I do something wrong?” she asked, her voice quiet.
I said nothing for fear I’d throw up before I got the words out. I took a moment, taking a few deep breaths, and then I looked over at her. “Nothing that you’d know about.” It was true. She hadn’t known the gritty details of that morning. Gabe had been the only living being I’d told, and I’d asked him not to say a word.
Cadence frowned. “Care to explain? I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I didn’t want to remember that horrifying day, but I knew it was important for her to know. “I don’t eat bacon anymore.”
She looked at me, shock lining her face. “What? Who the hell doesn’t eat bacon? Gabe told me you guys used to eat it all the time.”
“The keywords in that sentence are used to.” I winked, leaning against her.
I could tell Cadence was confused. Hell, I was confused, and yet I knew the reason I didn’t eat it. I looked away. I didn’t want to go down that path, but knew I had to. “Cadence, the day that Ella…”
I felt Cadence place her hand on me and squeeze my arm, waiting for me to continue.
“The day Ella died, she’d been cooking breakfast. She’d collapsed in the pantry, and when I’d come in, bacon was still on the stove. Of course, it was burnt, but ever since I haven’t been able to stand the smell of it. It reminds me of finding her, laying on the floor, her eyes wide, staring into nothing,” I said as I nervously twisted the wedding ring that still sat on my finger.
Cadence said nothing. She just gripped my arm a little tighter.
“You know, no matter what I do, I can still see her laying there. I can still smell that burning bacon every once in a while, when I step into the house. When I came up to the house and smelled it, my fear was that I was going to walk in and find you in the same…” I closed my eyes, not wanting to say those words.
Cadence leaned against me and rested her head on my shoulder. “I understand, Connor. Know that I’m not in the same position. I’m here and very much alive.”
“I know,” I whispered, interlocking my fingers with hers. “I just wish that someone else would understand and know what this feels like. So I know I’m not alone.”
“You aren’t alone, Connor,” she answered, her voice changing tones.
“I’m not?” I questioned, looking at her.
“No.”
I looked at her, at the sadness in her eyes as they fell away from mine. She ran her fingers through her hair, moving a loose strand behind her ear before meeting my eyes again. “Did Gabe tell you about our grandfather?”
I thought for a moment before shaking my head. “I don't think so.”
“Gramps loved vanilla ice cream. Every Friday night he’d have some. One thing, it had to be homemade. He claimed the store-bought stuff didn’t have enough vanilla flavour. Grams would make sure that there was always fresh cream for it, along with either vanilla beans or real vanilla extract. Friday afternoons, I’d make it. He especially looked forward to it after his cancer treatments had started. It was the one thing he looked forward to each week.”
She smiled as she thought about the memory. She’d always had a pretty smile, but somehow, with the early-morning light shining on her face, she looked even prettier.
“Well, this particular Friday I’d forgotten to do a couple of things out in the barn. So, after we’d eaten dinner, Gramps ran out to the barn while I scooped out ice cream for the three of us. I had put in a little too much vanilla. It was all I could smell as I scooped the stuff into the bowls.”
I could see that the memories were painful for her as they came flooding back into her mind. Her eyes were glassy, and she held a lot of tension in her shoulders.
“Anyway, I’d scooped out the ice cream and put the bowls on the table, then Grams and I sat down. Grams appeared to be a little worried, since Gramps had been gone much longer than he should have. I told her I’d head out to see what was up, but she insisted. So, off she went. Moments later, I heard her scream, and I ran out to the barn to find him unresponsive on the floor of the barn.”
Cadence wiped her eyes as a tear spilled down her cheek. I went to pull her against me, but she fought me. Instead of allowing me to comfort her, she stood up and paced back and forth in front of me.
“Gramps passed away in the hospital four hours later. It was heartbreaking, and when we’d come home, the entire—and I mean entire—house smelled of vanilla. I cleaned up the three bowls of melted vanilla ice cream, which really wasn’t that bad, but the smell of vanilla was awful, and it turned my stomach. It smelled that way for days and for the longest time after he’d passed, the thought of eating vanilla ice cream was appalling. I couldn’t even use it in recipes for baking. Months passed, and one day, I came in from doing some work in the barn. It was shortly after they diagnosed Grams with dementia. I found her in the kitchen with the ice cream maker out. It was a Friday, and she’d made ice cream. The entire kitchen smelled of vanilla. While I fought the feeling of being sick, all she did was look at me, smile, and tell me how excited Gramps would be to have ice cream tonight after his treatment.”
“Wow, Cadence, I did not know,” I muttered.
