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As tempting as it was, she couldn’t let him do that. “You can’t risk derailing your career.” Not when that was clearly important—maybe as much as a wife and family.
“If you shoot me in the foot, they couldn’t send me.”
“I’m not shooting you.” She looked to see if he was serious.
He grinned at her. “You’re right. You might get in trouble. Nobody would believe I shot myself, though. Maybe I could break my arm.”
“That idea has some merit.” Except if anything happened to someone on the deployed team, they’d both have to live with it. She tightened her grip on his arms. “I wanted these next few months with you. I feel like we’re being cheated.”
“I wanted the time too. It won’t be the same, but we’ll message and talk when we can. It’s only three months, then I’ll be here for at least a month. I’ll take leave and you can take vacation. And after that, I’ll come up at least one weekend a month. You can come to Florida, or we can meet halfway.”
“Is that really the kind of relationship you want?” She couldn’t see him settling for a few days a month. She wanted more. With him, she wanted it all, or as much as his career in the Army allowed.
“No, and certainly not forever, but I’m not walking away from the best thing I’ve ever had.”
She wasn’t either. Not when he’d changed her life so completely these past few weeks. But she also wasn’t rushing to make major life changes with her career or abandoning The Oasis when they’d had so little time together. Not after Adam. Though far from ideal, she’d see how the relationship fared separation, first by thousands of miles, then shorter time and distance. Then she could decide what she was willing to sacrifice for a chance at the future she again envisioned.
“You never told me if there’s a special meaning to this symbol on your necklace.” He lifted it from her chest, turning it to see from different angles.
“My sister, Jennifer, gave it to me when I graduated with my master’s. That’s an infinity symbol in the center, and the other knots are to show that choices we make and each twist in life has a purpose in connecting us. The symbol represents growth and new beginnings.”
“I like that. Thanks for telling me.” He rubbed his thumb over it. “Are we staying out here to watch the sunrise or . . .”
“That’s a few hours away.” She turned her face up to his to nuzzle him with her nose.
“As long as you’re in my arms, I’m good. But you probably need some rest so you don’t fall asleep listening to your clients.”
“True.”
“Have you ever done phone or video sex?”
Oh, my. “No. But I’d be willing to try if you’ll teach me. For now, let’s go inside and see if you can help me get to sleep with the real thing.” She squeezed his arms.
“Yes, ma’am.” He spread his arms to free her. “I’m not going in until you leave for work either. So, if you need anything in the morning . . .”
She’d miss everything about him. Would she be able to let him go now and in the future without coming to resent him or his job? Was she strong enough to face the possibility of losing him when she already wondered if she could live without him?
ChapterSixty
FAR AWAY – Nickelback
John parkedElizabeth’s car in the passenger drop-off zone at the airport, unable to swallow the lump in his throat. He’d needed a ride since he was taking a commercial flight instead of the usual military transport. It was an easy decision to leave his truck at The Oasis where it’d be safe and serve as a reminder that he planned to come home to her. They’d gotten a little more time together on the drive over, but he failed at his mission to keep the mood light. They were out of time, and this would be a hard goodbye.
“I need to grab a baggage cart. Will you put the leash on Boss, please?” The small regional airport wasn’t busy, but the last thing he needed now was Boss getting loose when he had to go.
He pushed the cart to where Elizabeth leaned against the car’s open trunk, clutching the leash to keep Boss close to her side. She’d put on her brave face, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes.
He could relate.
It had been less than forty-eight hours since he told her the news. She was taking it well, but the test was still to come. They’d only been a couple less than a month. That wasn’t half as long as he’d been with Britney. Look how that turned out.
Elizabeth wouldn’t cheat on him and sure as hell wouldn’t go back to her ex, but what if she decided this wasn’t the life she wanted? Or that he wasn’t good enough for her? Even though he’d hoped to impress her with his career goals, his insecurities reemerged with a vengeance. He would have asked Elizabeth’s advice, but now that he was sleeping with her—and doing that as much as possible in the limited time they had left—he knew she’d say she was too biased to give him counseling advice.
Last night, they told the women at The Oasis about him leaving and later called his father. John had just told his dad and wife about Elizabeth the previous week. This deployment tanked his plans to take her to meet them. Instead, they’d met over video chat and promised to visit when he returned.
He loaded the last of his gear and bags, then drop to a knee and rubbed Boss behind both ears. “Elizabeth will take good care of you. You look after her too, okay?” Boss didn’t understand what was going on, but he’d be in good hands. “I’ll send you treats and toys.” Boss licked his cheek.
John got to his feet. He pulled Elizabeth into his arms, breathed in her honeysuckle scent, and memorized how her body fit with his.
