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“I don’t think I’m quite ready.” None of these dogs would fill the gap in her heart. John had been right.
And she wasn’t going to be the one who cowered in a corner any longer.
* * *
After escortingher last patient of the day back to the lobby, Elizabeth detoured to Charis’s office. The door was open, affording Elizabeth a view of the gorgeous landscape of purple heather-covered hills along a loch in the Scottish Highlands.
“I love that photograph,” she commented to get her colleague’s attention. “I would love to visit Scotland someday.”
“You’ll love it. You should go in August when it’s the warmest and the heather’s in bloom.” Charis’s lovely brogue made Elizabeth want to visit even more.
Elizabeth closed the door behind her. “I know your schedule is full, but I was hoping you might be able to squeeze in a patient you’re familiar with from your old practice.”
“One of your patients?”
“One of yours. Me.”
“Oh.”
“I know it’s frowned on with us being in the same practice now.” A slight understatement, as Charis’s expression confirmed. “It wouldn’t be counseling, but EMDR therapy. I’d like to give it a try again. With you this time.”
“I can give you recommendations outside our group who are certified as well.”
“Then I’d have to start from scratch to establish trust for it to be effective. You know my history, and we’d made a lot of progress before you went out on maternity leave and took a break.”
“But not quite enough progress?”
“I got to a good place, but . . .”
“Not where you want to be?”
“Not anymore. Right now, I’m questioning if I’m even qualified to counsel others when I can’t get past my own issues to have the life I want.” She didn’t know what she’d do if she quit practicing. It wasn’t what she wanted, but John’s challenge had shaken her.
“We can’t have you doubting yourself and the excellent work you do,” Charis agreed. “If you’re certain, I’ll find a time to work you in. We can start this week.”
“I’m certain.” To keep from losing the little security she had left in her life, she needed help to slay these demons.
ChapterFifty-One
KISS A GIRL – Keith Urban
Despite the breakthroughsin therapy the past three weeks, Elizabeth’s heart pounded harder and sweat broke out when she turned into John’s neighborhood. She slowed her car to a crawl, willing her body to calm down. She hadn’t experienced this much anxiety since plotting to leave Adam. She also hadn’t had this much at stake since then.
This time she needed every ounce of resolve not to face a monster but to face a giant. A gentle giant with a ginormous heart. Not to leave, but to stay. If he’d have her.
A white pickup truck rolled up behind her. The female driver didn’t tailgate her car, but Elizabeth sped up to the speed limit. The truck also turned onto John’s cul-de-sac, like a nudge to keep her from pulling over or backing out. She had to do this.
A construction dumpster took up one side of John’s driveway. His truck was backed in on the other side. She drove past and circled the cul-de-sac, only to see the white truck stopped in front of his house.
What the . . .
She pulled over and watched a woman in jeans and a pink shirt carry plastic bags in through John’s open garage. Into his house.
This wasn’t some delivery. Nope. John was already dating. And not just dating. The way the woman breezed in, it was like they were a couple.
Damn, that was fast. It hurt. She couldn’t fault him, though. Not when she’d pushed him away.
If she stayed parked here for a good cry, she risked a neighbor coming across her. She let out a long breath and took her foot off the brake. A flash of gray and black fur dashed past John’s truck to the end of the driveway and into the street. Boss’s deep bark reverberated in her heart. Could she drive right past him? No, because now John strode out and called to Boss, who didn’t budge. John glanced down the street and did a double-take.
