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What? Erin had never faked her feelings for Graham. Never. And he’d accept a new post rather than end their relationship—even though it meant being separated from his children.
The realization hit her like an icy blast. Grahamdidhave another option. One that made her—or them together—collateral damage. “I’m leaving town to work on the series.”
“I guess you got what you needed for your writing career. I wish things had gone differently. Come on, Lulu.” Sally led the dog away.
Erin didn’t correct Sally’s assumption as her mind reeled from the bomb that had just imploded her world.
ChapterForty-Two
Erin fed the cats,then fixed avocado toast for breakfast. She’d barely eaten or slept last night, and the first sips of coffee hadn’t worked their magic yet.
She rechecked her phone before sitting at the kitchen table to eat. Graham still hadn’t responded to the message she’d sent after leaving his house yesterday.
When Sally brought up Graham saying nothing may come of her screenwriting—was that because she’d tried to keep his and her expectations low? Or did he doubt it would happen? His support certainly seemed genuine, but maybe he now saw it could be a conflict with his position.
Phil had seen dollar signs and been supportive of her screenwriting too.Untilshe wanted to spend two weeks in LA for an intensive screenwriting program. It hadn’t been realistic with the girls’ ages then, but he hadn’t considered how they could make it work for her to attend. His support waned after five years of getting nowhere, and he wanted her to put an end date on putting any more time or money into chasing her dream. That’s when she’d put together the curriculum for the class she’d taught rather than walk away entirely.
To be so close now seemed like the miracle she needed, especially after having all her and Phil’s savings and investments wiped out. If she walked away from her dream and the money now, it wasn’t like she’d get a second chance to join the writing team—ifthe series got picked up.
She wanted to believe Graham was willing to shift his career goals, even sacrifice staying here with his children, for her. But it was a lot to ask of him. It wasn’t like she could get the studio to commit before Graham returned and had to decide about his future assignment. Even if they ordered a full season, the show could get canceled after a few episodes. Then Graham might resent her if he accepted a new posting for nothing.
Worse, she might resenthimif she didn’t take this shot. The way her marriage disintegrated had her doubting everything and questioning what it meant that she wasn’t willing to walk away from this opportunity, that was far from a sure thing, for Graham. While she loved him, she had no way of knowing where things might stand between them in a year.
She rubbed her temples, wishing a solution would magically become clear. Strategic thinking was Graham’s specialty, not hers. Sure, she could plot a storyline for an entire movie or television season and beyond, but that was fiction. This was real life. Not just hers, but his. And his kids. And her daughters. And the men under his command.
She groaned. Tink scampered away.
When they entered this arrangement, she certainly hadn’t thought she’d fall in love—or that Graham would—so she hadn’t worried about the future. Now, she wanted it all—a happy, loving relationship with a man who respected her work. Great sex. And, hopefully, a fulfilling and well-paying career as a writer.
As she ate the last bite of toast, it dawned on her. No one was telling her she couldn’t have it all—excepther. That was past Erin, listening to the lies she’d let hold her back and settle for far too long. No more.
She would not let anyone, not herself or some jealous, big-mouth military wife, steal her joy. She didn’t have to settle or sacrifice what she wanted anymore. They could go wherever Graham’s next assignment was, and she’d commute to California as needed. It might not be ideal, but it would give their relationship time to grow ontheirschedule, not some general’s agenda.
And if the series went nowhere, she wouldn’t regret not chasing her dream and giving it everything she had. Dreams didn’t always work out, but she could find a new dream and purpose. She’d learned it was okay to let go of the past and not let it control and define her. Concentrate on the present, which was the only thing she could control.
It was good Graham hadn’t called yet. Now she knew what she had to tell him.
* * *
After Erinand Nicky finished cleaning the USO center, she headed out for the day. It’d taken a monumental effort not to spill the saga when Nicky had asked how things were with Graham. Keeping busy had helped take Erin’s mind off the situation somewhat. However, every glimpse of camouflage made her think of Graham.
She pulled her phone from her back pocket before getting in her car and saw the missed call and voicemail notifications. Erin tapped on the screen to listen to the voicemail from a restricted number. Graham’s voice reached out like a hug from thousands of miles away, though she nearly cried that she’d missed his call.
“I got your message. Sorry that I couldn’t call earlier. We were out and had asituation. I’m fine. The whole team’s fine. But I wasn’t in a position where I could call. I haven’t looked at assignment options yet, but I’ll do that and call you in the next day or two. I’m going to try and get some sleep. I’m sorry I missed you. Love you.”
Situation? Goosebumps broke out on her arms that he sought to reassure her he was okay. It’d been easy to ignore the dangers of his career the past few months with him here. Her storyline for the series was fiction. This was real life. The necessity of men being able to focus on the mission instead of being distracted by things at home hit her in a way she hadn’t envisioned previously.
He’d called about fifteen minutes ago, probably while she’d been running the vacuum in the center. Not wanting to wait another day or two, she calculated the time difference. Near midnight. He might still be up. But would her news be a distraction from what he was dealing with there? She sighed in acceptance. She could wait.
Nearly to the condo, her phone rang. Her eyes cut to the car’s display screen. Except it wasn’t Graham trying again, but Ian’s name and number on the display. She took a quick, deep breath and projected confidence as she greeted him.
“I hope you’re sitting down. I have news.”
“I’m sitting. I’m also driving. Should I pull over?” He sounded excited. However, the way her luck was running these days, she didn’t want to get her hopes up.
“You should. The studio ordered a full thirteen-episode season ofBravo Unit.”
“Oh my! Really?” She navigated onto a side street, put the car in park, and took slow, deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating.
