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Iwas sore, exhausted, but the pleasure I felt through every single cell of my body, every synapse, made me feel… alive. But I always felt like this after being with Ryker and Jareth.
They played my body like they were maestros and I was their orchestra.
I never felt more empowered than when I was with them. And it was for different reasons, different feelings.
I moved faster, my sneakers eating up the asphalt as I ran around the lake. This was lap two, but I wouldn’t stop until I was drenched in sweat, until my legs ached and my knees felt like pudding. Only then would I stop. Only then would I allow myself to take a break.
This was my day of not seeing them, my choice, my decision. I created the schedule, the routine. But it worked out for all of us, worked out so perfectly that we were all like a fluid machine.
I pumped my arms and legs harder. I passed a woman walking her dog, the Labrador barking at me, pulling on the leash. There was a woman with her child in a stroller, her cell phone pressed to her ear as she argued with someone.
I kept running, kept thinking about my men, how complicated but easy this all was. In a perfect world, I’d have both of them at the same time, not sexually, but where we didn’t have to split up the days, where we were all together.
I could picture one on each side of me as I held their hands and we walked around this very pond. Of course, we’d get looks, stares. There’d be whispers, assumptions. But to be honest, I didn’t care about any of that. I just wanted Ryker and Jareth in my life always.
It was selfish, I admitted, and a part of me felt guilty for that, for making them have to be okay with sharingbecause I didn’t want to let them go. But was I really making them do anything?
They were grown men, adults, and could make their own decisions about if they wanted to stay in this relationship or not, even if it was complicated at times, unorthodox, to say the least.
I was rounding my second lap when my music was interrupted by an incoming call. I slowed my pace to a jog and checked my phone, seeing it was my mom.
“Hi, Mom,” I said once I answered the call.
“Hi, honey. What are you doing?”
I panted. “Running.”
“Oh good. I thought I’d called during something else.”
I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Mom, please don’t go there.”
“What? I mean, how am I supposed to know your schedule since you have Ryker and Jareth every other day?”
Oh my God. I slowed my run and started walking, not sure what to say, regretting even saying anything to my mom right from the beginning.
“Mom, we’re not fiends, good lord.” I snorted and shook my head.
“Well, excuse me.” My mom had a teasing note in her voice. “Besides, you know I’m just giving you a hard time. If I don’t do it, who will?”
I laughed softly. “I guess that’s true, but still, nobody wants to hear their mom even mention sex.” I internally cringed at the very thought of that. Although my mother and I were close, became even closer after my father left, my sexual life was not something we delved into. Or hers.
I walked half the pond as I listened to my mother talk about her new position at work, the garden party she’d gone to over the weekend, and how she learned to properly drink tea out of porcelain cups. Then she went into talking about how good the French macaroons were and how she was going to try to figure out how to make them this weekend.
“I wish you lived closer, honey. We could do all these things together.”
“Me too, Mom.”
After college, I’d moved closer to the city, but stayed right on the outskirts of it. It was a short drive to work, but still gave me a little more privacy than if I was right up in the thick of skyscrapers and shoulder-to-shoulder crowds.
Although it was only a five-hour drive to my mom, both of us were so busy that it meant there wasn’t a whole lot of time to commute back and forth.
But we tried to see each other at least once a month, sometimes once every two months if life was especially hectic.
But ever since her divorce from my cheating father, she’d made herself busy with garden parties, going on vacations with her friends, and just living her best life. It was like my father had been holding her back from who she really needed to be, and once he wasout of the picture, she’d opened her wings and flown.
“So I was thinking of coming up for a visit next month, maybe having dinner with you, Ryker, and Jareth? I can make supper, maybe my pasta specialty? Maybe even bring someone?”
I froze. Bring someone? I wasn’t even about to delve into that right now.
