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Jane took a sip of her coffee and set it back on the counter. She looked out the window above the kitchen sink and watched as Rys walked back to his truck. This was a daily thing, sometimes twice a day. Sometimes, it was just Rys or William that stopped by, bearing flowers. Other days, it was both of them. Jane never answered the door, always having her mom do her dirty work. It broke her heart hearing them beg her to let them see Jane, but she just couldn’t, not yet.
It wasn’t even Rys’s fault, not really. So shit happened and he got a girl pregnant, supposedly. Why was she punishing all of them?
You know why, Jane, the damn little voice in her head decided to pipe in once again.
All she could think about was getting back with them, not letting this ruin the incredible thing they had, but then she saw Christa having her baby, a little baby that looked just like Rys and William. Rys would see the baby, fall in love with it, and leave to be with Christa to have a happy little family. If it were just the issue with the baby, maybe it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but Jane had known Christa her whole damn life.
There was no way she would leave Rys alone. The girl would want that happily ever after, and Jane couldn’t blame her, not in the least. That was what really hurt, and that was why she was having such a hard time with this. She just knew if she went back with them and opened up her heart again, it would just end up getting broken once more. Rys would leave her to be with Christa, and even though she’d still have William, her sweet, sweet William, it would be like looking at Rys. Thinking like that wasn’t fair to William.
She could never just be with one of them, had never envisioned herself only being with one Holden twin.
Taking a deep breath at the sight of Rys out the window, she felt tears prick her eyes. The smell of lilacs filled her senses, and she knew her mother held another bouquet. Rys stopped when he got to his truck and dropped his head. He stood like that for several seconds, and her heart broke more. God, she missed them terribly. It was like her heart was getting ripped from her chest. When his head lifted and he looked over his shoulder, their eyes connected.
Her chest ached something terrible at the hopelessness in his gaze. He said so much with that look, and she had to force herself to turn away from the window. She would always have that image of him ingrained in her head.
She dragged herself to the kitchen table and sat down. Moments later, she heard his diesel truck starting up and then fading in the distance. Her mother set the flowers and Jane’s cell phone in front of her.
“Look at me, sweetie.”
Lifting her eyes, Jane stared into her mom’s face. “You need to wake up, Jane honey. Life sometimes throws you a curveball, but you have to move on. You have to pick up the broken pieces, put them back together as best as you can, and start over. It’ll be hard. We both know that, and I know how painful it is, but life is too short to throw away the love that the three of you have.” She cupped Jane’s cheek and smiled. “I threw away my life on a man who wasn’t worthy. The only good thing that came out of my marriage to Charles was you, darling. Don’t give up on those boys, because they will never give up on you.”
Her mother kissed her on the forehead and turned to leave. Jane watched her go. She had never heard her mother admit that her marriage to her father was a mistake. There had been sadness and conviction in her mom’s words but truth also. She needed time to think, needed to sort out being with William and Rys. Knowing one of them would be having a baby, a baby who wasn’t hers, was a lot to take in. She loved those two for as long as she could remember. Jane had pictured a life with them, one that included a family.
Yeah, it was a lot to take in. She didn’t really want to deal with it right now; that was for sure. Looking at the flowers again, she let her fingers graze over the purple petals. Her phone lay in front of her. It was turned off, because the texts and calls from Rys and William had been too much for her to cope with. She turned it on, and a series of beeps alerted her to the numerous texts and voicemails. She opened up her messages, and texts from Rys and Will popped up. She read through them, tears prickling her eyes.
Will: Janey, please don’t shut us out. I know things are hard right now, but we need to talk.
Rys: Please, baby, please talk to me. I keep going over and asking to see you, but your mom says you’re not ready. Please, baby.
Will: Janey, not seeing or talking to you is harder than hell. Please, please give Rys a chance to explain.
Rys: I miss you, baby.
Will: God, Janey, I miss you so damn much.
Rys: We love you, Jane, and we will not let you go.
The last one was from Rys and sent just a few moments ago. There was so much conviction in his words that she knew he meant every word. Turning the phone back off, she grabbed her coffee and finished it. She had work in an hour, and sitting here thinking about how much she just wanted to go over to their house and wrap her arms around them would only make it one very long day.
Chapter 26
Half her shift was done, and Jane was doing a pretty good job not thinking so much about the Holden boys. Oh, who the hell was she kidding? All she had been thinking about was them. Her resolve to stay away had pretty much evaporated. She missed them too damn much to let this come between them. She would have to find a way to get over it, to get through it. Rys and William meant too much to her for her to just throw it all away.
They had been there for her during the hardest times of her life, and how was she paying them back? Pushing them away when things got tough made her a selfish bitch. Feeling a sudden burst of joy, she couldn’t wait until her shift was over, because she was going right to their house to tell them she was being a childish, selfish girl and that she hoped they could move on with their lives, because that was what she wanted to do more than anything… move on with their life, together.
She set a plate of chicken fingers and a burger down at a table in her section and turned to head back to the counter. Movement in her peripheral vision caught her attention, and she turned to see Trevor and Missy on the other side of the front window. Their discussion was heated by the way Missy kept pointing her finger in his chest.
Trevor’s face was a dark shade of red, and he kept looking around as if he was afraid their little tiff would be heard. Jane couldn’t hear what was being said, but when Trevor started advancing on Missy, bringing back a slew of horrid memories from her date with him, Jane took a step forward, intent on protecting a woman who had done nothing but start shit with her. Missy shoved him away and stormed into Slick’s. She took one look at Jane, scowled, and stalked over to a table in her section. Of course.
Well, shit, now she had to deal with Missy in a shitty mood. Steeling herself, she walked over to Missy and stood at the table. “What can I get for you?” Jane kept her gaze steady when Missy glowered at her.
“Just give me a Coke.” Missy speared her hands through her hair and looked away.
Jane didn’t stick around, just got the drink and went back to waiting on her other tables. Several hours passed with Missy doing nothing but sitting at the booth, sucking down the free refills. The numerous times Jane asked if Missy wanted anything else, Missy responded curtly and told her to fuck off. Jane left her the hell alone. But just because she told Jane to leave her alone, that didn’t stop Missy from glaring at her for the rest of her shift. Awkward didn’t even begin to describe the situation.
Whatever she and Trevor fought about, it was sticking with Missy and making her rude and bitchy. When Jane’s shift ended, she was anxious to see the guys. She admitted she had been acting like a fool, letting all of this get between them. No doubt, it would be hard for all of them if it really did turn out that Rys had fathered Christa’s baby, but they wouldn’t know for sure until Christa had the baby and they did a DNA test. Jane knew this was going to be the hardest months of her life, but she wanted to get through it with Rys and William.
It was already dark by the time she grabbed her purse and said goodbye to Lonnie. She glanced at Missy’s table and relaxed when she saw she had finally decided to leave. The little bell above the door dinged when she exited. Her piece-of-shit car sat right under the lone parking lot light in full view.
