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Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so brutal in my words; perhaps I should have said that I wouldn’t hurt her. But I did want to be brutal to her, and I did want to hurt her.
My passion for her fed off a darkness within me.
Having her at my mercy appeased the anger I felt at what her father had done to the Fratellanza, and tempered the rage I had at the knowledge that she would have refused to marry me if she had been given a true choice.
Fucking her tight cunt last night hadn’t been enough for me.
I needed to possess her wholly and for her to surrender to me completely.
“You’ll do what I say, and you’ll obey me,” I said harshly.
“Or what?” She tried to sound defiant and shake off my hold, but there was a slight tremble in her voice.
“I’ve tried to make things as easy as possible for you.”
“What, by going behind my back and getting my father to sign the engagement contract, by forcing me to marry you, and by dragging me to Italy away from my whole life?” The amber flecks in her hazel eyes danced as she gave a harsh laugh.
“I am your life now. This marriage is your life.” My tone was emotionless.
“Well, I don’t want it to be,” she cried.
“You were born into this world, just like the rest of us. There’s no escape for any of us."
“So, I’m your prisoner now?”
“No, this life imprisons us all. If you want to be my prisoner, I can arrange that.” She needed to understand the reality of her situation. “I’ve tried to make this as easy as possible for you.”
“No, you haven’t.” Bitterness suffused her words. “You enjoy tormenting me, playing with me and my emotions. You like keeping me in this prison.”
“Do I? I can make this a prison if that’s what you want. Starting now. Maybe that will make you start behaving.”
“What are you talking about?” Her voice trembled.
I turned my mind off to her emotions. I wanted to make Cate mine, body, and soul, but she wouldn’t stop fighting me and fighting the love I was trying to give her. She wouldn’t let me in, no matter what I did to make her happy.
I had let her stay in her apartment and had moved from the mansion to be there with her, and I had let her carry on working—something almost unheard of in our Mafia circle. But most of all, I hadn’t forced her on our wedding night—most Made Men I knew would have no hesitation in taking their bride forcefully.
But despite all this, despite waiting until she was ready to consummate our relationship and taking her gently the first time instead of in the raw, primal way I had wanted, she continued to throw it all back into my face.
She made no secret of the fact that she thought I was a monster, holding her effectively as my prisoner and later forcing her to marry me.
But that was who I was, and I wouldn’t apologize for it. I had been born into the Mafia, into this way of life which entangled one’s soul with violence, blood, and death.
It had made me who I was, and it was that man who had fallen for Cate, the enemy’s daughter, the daughter of a traitor who had threatened the stability of the Fratellanza which was at the core of my existence.
I didn’t feel a gentle love for Cate—I didn’t even know if I was capable of such tender affection.
Instead, my need for her was a fierce desire to possess her and to own her in every way, to make her submit to my will—and if she wouldn’t, to punish her and make her suffer like I was suffering through my need for her.
I looked at her and hardened my gaze. “I’ve allowed you all sorts of freedoms and liberties until we had to come to Italy, such as staying in your apartment. I haven’t forced you to have sex with me—I’ve given you all the time you’ve needed. I’ve let you carry on working. When we get back to Chicago, I can easily put a stop to that.”
“No! I love my job and seeing the children. It keeps me sane, and I need to keep on working.”
“And your grandmother, when we were in Chicago, I let you carry on phoning her each morning and talking to her. I was going to let you call her from here once we had the secure line set up.”
“Youweregoing to let me?” Cate’s voice became wary as she took in the significance of my words. “Please, you have to let me call her.”Her words came tumbling out in a rush. “I’ll give up working if you want that. But you have to let me stay in contact with my grandmother.”
I stayed silent.
