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Once he’d repeated what he’d said, my suspicion was confirmed. “I still don’t get why she didn’t want to eat with us,” Gabriel commented.
“She’s scared of you,” I explained, spearing another meatball with my fork.
“Good,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone. “I’ll make a good Capo, then.”
I sighed, exasperated at my brother. “She’s a member of this family now and I don’t want her to be scared of any of us. Christ, Gabriel, not everything’s about fucking work. I feel sorry for the girl you marry someday.”
“She’ll cope. She’ll have to—just as Jessica needs to.”
It was hard getting through to my brother sometimes, but I needed him to understand where I was coming from. “I want her to be happy here. This is her home as well now.”
"Fine. I’ll try not to make any more jokes about knives,” he replied, referring to his comment from when he was carving the roast chicken last night.
“I’d appreciate that,” I said dryly, as we ate.
I felt bad that Jessica was upset by what Gabriel had said to her. I was still feeling guilty about last night, about how Jessica had thought I was going to have sex with her. I should have clarified things on our wedding night, or at the very least before I went to work yesterday afternoon. Instead, she’d probably been worrying the whole time about what I was going to do to her.
I had no idea of how to handle her and this situation.
Although Jessica had given me permission to sleep with other women, the truth was that I wouldn't. Now that I was married to Jessica, I didn't want to be with other women. It didn't feel right.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d suffered at the hands of my father. And no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t change what had happened.
JESSICA
It took ages to fall asleep tonight. I don’t remember Rafael coming to bed, so he must have still been working in the office.
I must have been tired though, and I drifted off and fell into a world full of darkness and shadows, where Emanuel was lurking everywhere and trying to chase me. I ran as fast as I could, trying to escape him, but it was no good and I felt his cold fingers reach out to grab me. As his hands touched me, I screamed out.
“Wake up, Jessica!”
My eyes flew open and I jumped as I saw Rafael next to me. “It’s okay, it’s just a bad dream,” he said quietly.
I let out a sob and threw myself into his arms, needing to feel something solid and real, needing to get rid of the feel of Emanuel’s cold hands on me. “It felt so real,” I cried.
Rafael was silent for a moment. “Were you dreaming about the attack?”
I nodded into the darkness.
“It’s okay, I’ll never let anything like that happen to you ever again, I promise you,” he murmured, stroking my hair back from my forehead.
I clung to Rafael, seeking comfort from his body. I could feel the bare skin of his chest under my wet cheek and the roughness of his chest hair under my fingers.
“If anyone ever touches you again, I’ll start a fucking war,” he said in a low voice. “No one will ever hurt you again—because I’m going to take care of you from now on.”
I didn’t want to lower my defenses around this man—because I didn’t know what to expect of him. He was a Made Man and violence ran through his entire being. What if, one day, he showed that side of himself to me? What if he couldn’t restrain the brutality within him and hurt me?
I knew those were things which could easily happen.
Tonight, however, I didn’t want to let go of him. I suppressed my thoughts and fears, instead letting his body warm the chill in my limbs.
And when I fell asleep this time, I was still in his arms, relishing the feel of being curled up against his chest.
RAFAEL
The following day, I got up early for a run like I normally did. I was pulling on a pair of shorts over my briefs when Jessica turned over, her dark hair tussled from her sleep.
“Morning,” she murmured. Her eyes ran down my body to my shorts. “Where are you going?”
