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“I’ll take it if I need it, but I don’t want to need it. They’ve been drugging me for years, and I’m ready for this shit to leave my system.”
That’s when I notice her shaking slightly. I know Doc put her on a detox protocol, and the fact that she woke up not trapped in a nightmare is proof of it working. I could shake the devil's hand in thanks because I would have had no idea what to do if she had. But I don’t like seeing her like this. She’s so fucking strong that seeing her even in this bed is nearly unbearable. I’m sure she feels the same way.
“We need to start talking and come up with a plan for moving forward. Want to get out of this room today and help us strategize?”
Her eyes light up with the hope of leaving in an instant, making her sit up more quickly than she should. I see the pain written all over her face, but I don’t comment. She doesn’t need a babysitter, she needs someone to remind her who she is.
“Really? Do you already have a plan? Because I know Alexi Mikhaus has not been sitting around for the past three days sulking and not coming up with a plan.”
I give her a genuine smile for a moment just before I realize what I’m going to have to tell her. She notices the change instantly and her guard is up before I can give a single reassuring word. Fuck, she just let me in, and I’m already being shoved out again. I can feel it.
“We think,” I start.
“We?”
“Lev and I think you should come home with us for the break.”
She scoffs at that. “No way in fucking hell am I getting anywhere near your father without him explaining himself.” Her voice grows as she keeps speaking. “Actually, no, fuck that. He doesn’t get to explain. He hunted me, Alexi.Hunted. You have no idea what that’s like, that feeling of what someone will do to you when they finally catch you. I know you guys believe this is all some big misunderstanding, but I spent the last ten years of my life running from and hating this man. That doesn’t go away in a few days. Fuck, it might never go away. So, no. NO!”
When she yells, I clench my fist and fight my demon back to keep him from putting a collar on her throat, dragging her to my home, and chaining her to my bed. I count. Carefully and slowly as she stares in wait to see my reaction.
This is not who I want to be. This is not who I will be with her.
When I finally release my hand and relax my fingers, I move to touch her but she pushes me away. “Don’t touch me.”
I get up off the bed, needing to pace. I thought we were past this. I thought we had finally moved the fuck past this. “Look,” I say, trying to keep my breaths even. “I thought you could see it now, see how much I want you. I thought you understood how much I want to protect you and I can’t fucking do that if you’re not with me. This island isn’t safe and you can’t exactly go home. So what the fuck are you going to do?”
Angry tears burn in her eyes as her face turns red because she knows I’m right. She fists her hand in the sheets, and I see her monitor kick up with her heart rate. “I don’t trust him,” she seethes. “I hardly trust you after what just happened. How do I know this isn’t all a trap just to get me there, withhim?”
I see her point, I do, but my blood is running so damn hot I can’t control my words anymore.She won’t let me touch her.
“If you think I’d let you walk into a trap, after everything that’s happened over the past three days, then there’s nothing I can do or say at this moment to change your mind. So if you won’t come, then you better prove to us you can stay here and defend yourself.”
She scoffs again, and I’m nearly trembling in rage.How does she get me this upset?
“I can defend myself just fine,” she says bitterly.
“Oh yeah?” I question. “Then stand up, Evie. Stand up and walk to the bathroom by yourself so I know, at the very least, you could hide if someone came here uninvited.” My tone is cold and uncaring as I gesture to the bathroom. “Walk the fuck over here all on your own, and I’ll let it go.”
She hasn’t gotten up to pee once by herself, and I know firsthand just how unstable she is from the withdrawal and the injuries. I, myself, have taken her to the bathroom three times during the night. But this girl is as stubborn as they come. She straightens her spine and throws her legs over the edge, grimacing in pain the whole damn time. She stands up straight but can only keep up the farce for about two steps until she’s clutching her side and falling to her knees.
“Dammit,” I say as I reach for her.
The moment my hand makes contact with her shoulder, she flinches. She fucking flinches and pushes back away from me. I’m frozen, watching her trip over herself to scramble away from my hand. I don’t hear her yelling. I don’t register Damien walking in and glaring at me. I stand there frozen in time as my heart breaks all over again.
Damien picks her up, and she doesn’t flinch from his touch at all, just melts into him as her body is overtaken with tears and shaking. Doc comes in and gives her something in her IV before leaving again without a word. I’m not sure I could hear it even if he did.
When he closes the door again, Damien’s eyes are on mine. They’re no longer angry like they were when he walked in. “She’s having a flashback, it’s not you.”
I punished her, forced her, and broke her down until she was a shell of a person and Lev and Damien did everything in their power to bring her back and keep her safe. She doesn’t need me. All I do is bring her fear and pain. No matter how hard I try.
“Lex,” Damien calls after me as I leave, “it’s not you.”
As the door slides shut behind me, I look down at my hands, the shaking even worse than Evie’s.
It is me.
Chapter 7
