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Ro grins at her response, slaps her on the back, and skates away before I can even object.
She stumbles from the force of his slap, and I reach out to grab her elbow to steady her. She looks up at me. "Thanks." Her face is blank, no smiles for me. Damn, I deserve it.
"No problem."
"What did you need help with?" she asks, her voice dull. It's a far cry from the soft, sweet voice I remember.
I reply, "Nothing," and she gives me an irritated look. But I can't seem to control my tone, and I let out, "You can go away now. I really don't want your help."
I really wish I wasn't being so harsh, but I want her to leave. Or maybe it's me who should walk away. Either one would do.
It's all too much to think about, spending time with her and getting to know her. Why would I even consider it?
Ro's wrong. I don't want anything to do with this girl. Let alone, what, be her friend or date her? Yeah, right.
On the other hand, the thought of her not liking me is tearing me apart. She unequivocally doesn't like me now anyway.
My harsh tone startles her, and she looks back up at me, her eyes welling with tears. Fuck me.
She manages to say a broken "Sorry." Tears trickle down her face before she skates away, leaves the ice, and keeps going until she's out of sight.
Damn, that was a screw-up. I should have taken her hand and offered a heartfelt apology. My stomach feels like it's filled with stones now.
I have a nagging feeling deep inside that I've made a colossal mistake. I scan the ice, and I immediately wish I hadn't. Ro and Leia are shooting daggers at me, and Leia skates off to find Sutton.
I've really messed up. Ro skates back to me and claps my shoulder again. "Fuck you, man, you're going to make this right. Coach specifically said to be respectful to them, and you made the nicest girl here cry."
I groan at the force he uses on my shoulder. My throat tightens as I realize how much pain my actions have caused someone, especially Sutton. I wanted to be kind to her, and I had planned on it, but I can't bring myself to admit it out loud. Damn.
Is there something wrong with me? Ronan isn't finished yet. "You've never acted like that toward anyone, and you're being a complete jackass. You chose to target the shy girl who was already scared of you."
He's right, and I know it. "I like her friend, and she's going to kick my ass for the way you treated Sutton. You'd better apologize for real this time, or else I'm going to be mad at you." He's never genuinely been mad at me before.
I place my right hand over my heart without even thinking. Somewhere deep down, I know I messed up badly. I promise Ronan, "I will."
He eases up as he sees how solemn I am. Damn my life, this isn't avoiding problems – Sutton is going to cause me a world of problems. I can already sense it.
Fuck. My. Life.
CHAPTEREIGHT
SUTTON
Somehow,I find myself sitting back in the same freaking spot at Silver's on this lovely Friday night. I must be a glutton for punishment because I think this place is bad luck for me.
Leia holds my hands in hers from her seat across from me. "His friend Ronan said he's going to make it right, okay? There's no reason to keep dwelling on what happened. He was mean to you, and it made you cry. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. If anyone should be embarrassed, it's him. Guys are idiots and don't understand that we're not as rough around the edges as they are. You're sensitive, babe, and that's okay." She rubs a soothing circle on the back of my hand with her thumb.
I've heard this same monologue every day this week since she found me crying in the bathroom at the arena.
It's been a week since I had a little meltdown at the arena, and Leia finally managed to pull me out of my bed, and now, we're sitting in the back at the same booth as last time at Silver's. The thing about the whole situation is that I'm too sensitive. What Lincoln said shouldn't have made me cry.
My whole notion of breaking out of my shell this year was crushed once again because I find myself in terrible situation after terrible situation.
Lincoln's comment stung, but I should be able to stand up for myself. It's all the more painful because I harbored a tiny crush on him, though clearly, it wasn't mutual. That's probably why Leia has let me indulge in my self-pity for as long as I have.
I raise my hand in a solemn promise, making sure Leia sees I'm serious. "I just need a couple more days, and I swear I'll be over it." It's not a lie. Elliot called me and delivered a brutally honest but necessary pep talk. Leia had some strong words for him afterward, claiming he was too harsh, but I needed that push.
She considers my words, trying to gauge if I'm being truthful. "I thought that by agreeing to come out tonight, you were already over it. So please don't hate me for what's about to happen."
