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I sit up and grab the thick padded envelope from the side table of the small room I’m in. At least I got my own room. Hannah’s parents insisted I take it and moved themselves on a blowup in the living room. I feel bad, but I’m grateful they understood I’d need my privacy. But I’m also right next to Holt and Hannah’s room and the wailing baby that sleeps in the crib next to them.
Luca watches with excitement as if he’s the one opening the gift. I open the soft package to pull out a San Jose Quakes jersey.
“Oh, babe,” I hold it up expecting it to be Luca’s jersey. Always expect the unexpected when it comes to Luca, because it’s not his name, but Barnes stitched onto the back. I laugh and hold it to my stomach. “Why did you send me a Barnes jersey?”
“You said he was your favorite player!” Luca laughs through the phone. “Look closer.”
Underneath the name is a signature:Property of Luca Kingivson.
“You jerk!” I laugh and quickly quiet myself down, realizing I’m being way too loud when I hear a thump from somewhere else in the small house.
“They didn’t have my jersey yet, maybe someday,” he sighs with a small smile.
“You will,” I assure him. “And then we can fuck in it every day.”
“I like the sound of that.” He lets out a soft moan and gets comfortable.
We spend a few more hours talking until we’re both too tired.
The next day I get my second package of a bouquet of pink carnations, and a box filled with things to remind me of him. A blindfold, small nerf gun, an igloo snow globe with a picture we took the night we had our date in the igloo, a stuffed husky doll that oddly smells like him, and pictures. Lots of pictures of Luca posing in a towel, or naked with a hockey stick over his shoulders.
My king.
Chapter 39
Kandace
My thank you text to Luca has gone unanswered.
I’m not too worried, because he’s with his family today. I can’t be upset, but it doesn’t stop me from checking my phone every few minutes.
I keep checking the time, but that has me realizing that his flight should’ve landed over an hour ago.
The day was long and hectic with Holt’s huge family. His three older brothers hopped on Reese’s private jet to return to Florida for their own game tomorrow. But the small house is still filled with his younger twin brother and sister, plus his parents, Hannah’s parents, Holt, Hannah, baby Harlyn, and me.
All packed into a three-bedroom ranch style home with only two bathrooms. I’m over it already and it’s only been two days. Everyone wanted to be here for Harlyn’s first Christmas. It was cute at first, and Holt’s brothers definitely keep things interesting, but I’m ready for a break.
As soon as my head hits my pillow, my phone rings and I jump to answer it. My smile spreads when I see Luca’s name on the screen. I’m giddy with excitement. It’s such an odd feeling for me. I don’t remember the last time I was this happy. Last time I can think of was when my mom was still alive. One of the last times we went out to get ice cream together, just the two of us.
“Finally,” I say to answer the phone, trying to sound as if I’m teasing Luca for taking so long to call me.
But that happy, giddy feeling quickly fades when I see Luca’s red-rimmed eyes through the phone.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” I sit up as if that will help me get a better look at him.
“I’m sorry.” He rubs his face and my heart fills with dread. “I didn’t want you to see me upset, but I needed to see you.”
“Luca, baby, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he says with a croak. “It was just a hard day without him and even harder to say goodbye.”
My heart breaks with his grief. It’s the first Christmas without his brother. The thought of how hard that would be for him never even crossed my mind.
“The kids were so sad.” He tilts his head back to stop himself from crying. “They’re old enough that any distraction we had wasn’t long enough. The whole day was just one thing after another to distract us from our thoughts. Fuck, Kandace, it was just…” he stops to think of the best way to describe it.
“Depressing.” I finish the line for him and wipe my own tears from my eyes. He nods with a sigh and runs a hand through his curly blonde hair. “What can I do?” I’m at a loss of how I can make him feel better thousands of miles away.
“Be here.” He forces a laugh out. “I wish you were here with me.” The dam breaks and tears fall down his cheeks.
