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We almost kissed, and that’s exactly what I don’t want to do. That’s the exact thing I resolved can not happen.
He tries to take my hand as we walk back, but I move it away to fix my hair, and we take off our gear in silence.
I’m still breathless from the moment we shared. My body is shaking, trying to even out the pumping in my chest.
I wanted him to kiss me. Him. Luca! I can’t look him in the eyes. I know what those eyes look like, and they’re my downfall.
The first time I noticed them was over a year and a half ago at the last party of the semester. The end of my sophomore year. The hockey house had a party, and I ended up flirting with one of the seniors, Tad Boonovsky, or Boon, as everyone called him. He headed to the NHL, and I wanted to give him a special send off to remember me by. Luca got knocked into us in the hallway while we were making out. When he turned to apologize, our eyes locked. He had such intensity in them, such focus. I felt a longing in them, even then. It was quick, but it took my breath away, and I wasn’t able to get them out of my head. Even when Boon was balls deep inside of me. They were imprinted in my mind every time I closed my eyes.
I’ve been avoiding those eyes like the plague, and with one misstep of a connected gaze I completely folded.
I can’t deny this wasn’t fun. The best part was shooting Luca any chance I got, but all that didn’t change the shit he put me through.
It doesn’t take back what he said to me. Or the way he had treated me.
Chapter 18
Luca
That fucking buzzer. I had her.
My lips were seconds away, a mere inch from taking hers. Now, she’s back to avoiding any eye contact and any touch I try to sneak.
I need to figure out why she hates me this much. I wasn’t the nicest guy to her, but this goes deeper. There’s something I did or said that she’s not telling me. It’s obvious I hurt her. I just don’t know how I did it, and if I can figure out how, then I can make it up to her.
Kandace heads to my Jeep with her mouth firmly shut in a tight line, but I go the opposite way across the parking lot. It’s childish, but I walk right past her without a word. I want her to be the first to speak and break our silence.
“Where are you going?” She calls out.
I wait until I’m halfway before turning around.
“I’m hungry.” I wave out for her to follow.
She stamps her foot and puts her hand to her head before giving in and jogging over to me in her wedged sneakers. She always wears shoes with a heel or height to them. It’s a good thing she didn’t wear heels for our date. Not that it would change my plans, but it’d be pretty difficult for her to run around in those tall spiked heels she wears.
“Don’t you have food at home?” She asks, but steps in line with me as we walk to O’Halloran’s Pub across the lot.
“The night is still young.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her glaring scowl. “It’s just food and a drink. I’ll even pay.”
“No, paying would make this even more like a date. I told you before, this isn’t a date.”
She may say it’s not a date, but she isn’t saying no to dinner.
I hold the door open for her anyway. No matter what she says, it’s a date and even if it wasn’t, I’d still be a gentleman and do things like hold the door open and pay for her meal. Sometimes I pay for Willa’s meals and we don’t go on dates.
I stand back to let her in, appreciating her proud strut that makes her hips sway.
It’s early for the pub and quiet, exactly what I was hoping for. We easily get a booth in the back. Nice and secluded, away from the bar and door with romantic dim lighting.
“What are you getting, sugar?” I ask her over my menu.
“You can’t, not get on my nerves for just one minute.” She shakes her head and lifts her menu up to hide her face.
“We’re like an old married couple. Having an early dinner while silently bickering. It’s so cute of us.” I try to hide my grin with the menu, but she kicks my shin under the table.
It wasn’t a hard kick, but a good one. One that makes me wince with a grunt.
“Sorry, my foot slipped.” She smirks, ignoring my clear pain. “If we have nothing to talk about, we should just go home.”
