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I’m hurting him. It’s the last thing I wanted to do, but I have to. He has to know whatever ideals he has in his head of what we could be will never be true. It’s the only way for him to leave.
“All that shit you’re feeling isn’t real. You’ve built up this fantasy of me and I played into it.”
I’m not going to cry. I don’t cry.
“I let you believe we could be more. But I was only using you.”
Seeing Luca’s heart breaking right in front of me has my chest aching. The pain is all over his hard-lined face and his sweet aquamarine eyes that always make him look so young, and I struggle to get my next words out.
“I was using you, and we’ll never be more than that.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat that wants to come out with the tears threatening to flood.
“It’s always the same,” I whisper, trying but failing to sound strong. “You’re not any different than the rest of them. And nothing has changed in me.” I say that last part with all the strength. I have to look him dead in the eyes. “You’re nothing more than good sex.”
With one last look, Luca drops my keys onto the ground between us and walks away.
He doesn’t say anything.
I stare at his back, longing for him to turn around and tell me I’m wrong. Willing him to fight for me and call me out on my shit.
Make me believe.
He doesn’t and I’m not wrong.
I’m meant to be alone.
Chapter 28
Luca
“Take Kandi home,” I say to Finn and Gentry. “I’ll take Hannah home.” They both scramble out and head to where I left her. “And don’t let her drive!” I call out to them before slamming my door shut.
They heard and saw everything that just happened, but I don’t care. They don’t say anything and both Finn and Gentry leave in Kandi’s car with Finn driving.
The original plan was for them to drive Kandi’s car home while I drove Kandi and Hannah in my car. The plans changed, but no one questioned me.
“Are you ok?” Hannah asks as I drive to her parents’ house. I’ve gone there before when she and Holt were still living there.
“Yeah,” I lie to her.
Of course, I’m not fucking ok.Okwouldn’t feel like my heart just got ripped out of my chest.Okwouldn’t be having all your dreams shredded and burned right in front of you.
I’ve done nothing but give her all of me, and she still can’t trust me. I don’t get it. My whole world feels like it’s been twisted around, and I’ve been lying to myself this whole time. All that shit she said about using me felt like a lit match burning a hole right through my heart. Is that all I ever was to her?
I’ve never used anyone like that before, but she said it as if it was obvious. As if she’s always done it, without thinking twice about it.
“Who’s Peter?” I ask Hannah, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.
“Peter? Peter, Peter…” she keeps saying the name as if it will make more sense to her. “The only Peter I know is Drexton’s top benefactor. You know, Peter Davenport. He’s the one responsible for the Huskies training team. He’s an alumnus, and always sends the best to us.” She sounds like her dad, Dean Whalen, the dean at Drexton Hall. “He’s here this weekend. My dad and a few alumni from his time got together last night.”
“Peter Davenport as in Kandace Davenport?” I ask, giving her a sideways glance.
There’s no way she doesn’t know that.
“Huh, I never realized they had the same last name.” Hannah looks off as if the realization just hit her. “He’s also one of the owners of the San Jose Quakes.” She adds that part quietly, looking at me as she does.
Oh.Shit, I almost knocked out my new boss. No wonder Kandi was holding me back.
