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“Can I get chocolate if I eat my dinner?” His blue eyes shine with anticipation.
“Deal.” I nod. He sits at the table, and I cut up his chicken for him. He likes to mix it with the rice and eat it with a spoon.
“You going to spend Christmas with my family this year?” Patty asks between bites. Her father’s a hockey coach for a team here in the city, and her brother, who is an NHL player, comes in from out of town. They used to live in Chicago but relocated to New York after her dad retired as a hockey player. I’ve spent the last number of Christmases with them. They make a big meal and then head to a homeless shelter to serve food. I haven’t stayed for the shelter part since Crew gets tired by the time dinner is over and crashes.
“Thanks, that would be nice,” I agree. “Thank you.”
“You know my parents consider you and Crew family,” she shares.
“I know, and I appreciate it.”
“Omg, I have the best news,” she suddenly says, surprising me. “My dad is holding the gala in New York this year. It’ll be in the spring. You have to come,” she says, referring to a Mother’s Against Drunk Driving gala her dad and uncle run in memory of her grandparents who were killed.
“Oh, that isn’t my thing, and I’d need a babysitter for Crew. Plus, I’d have nothing to wear,” I mumble, knowing full well the gala is a fancy event with all kinds of famous people attending from NHL players to NBA players.
“You need to come. It’s a night out. You can meet all kinds of nice people. Maybe you can even meet a guy.” She waggles her brows.
“You know between work and life, I have no time for dating. I’m not even interested in dating.” I lie. I haven’t felt a man’s body against mine since Carter, and I don’t know what I was thinking when I started dating him. He swept in the night I dumped Liam at prom, and he was being all sweet. My heart was broken because I didn’t want to break up with Liam. Emotions were running high, and I was surprised he agreed it was the right thing to do. I was devastated when Liam didn’t come running back to me. I took comfort in Carter’s bed and even though his kisses felt nothing like Liam’s, I knew I would never feel that way again. What Liam and I shared was special. When he touched me, it was fire, but it also had the ability to burn my heart for good. I accepted the fact Carter was it for me. He liked me enough for the two of us, and he was attending Brown with me. It was nice to have a familiar face at Brown, even if Carter slowly started to treat me badly.
“I hate when you speak this way. You’re young and beautiful. You can’t just swear off men. Besides, wouldn’t you like a nice daddy for Crew?” she whispers, leaning into my ear. I look over at Crew to see if he’s heard what she said, but he’s busy shoveling food in his mouth. Of course I always envisioned having a nice, big happy family when I was younger. I knew I wanted kids, and I always saw myself with a husband who I pictured to be Liam, but that dream was burned to the ground with our relationship.
“How about we focus our attention on the beautiful Patricia Sanders?” I suggest, calling her by her formal first name. “Why don’t you tell us why you aren’t having sex in this city?” I say with a playful voice. Of course I don’t say the word sex out loud. I look at Patty and mouth it. I don’t need my son repeating the word tomorrow in kindergarten.
Patty laughs. “I’m too busy with school. This residency is whipping my ass. By the time I get home, I just want to soak my aching bones and go to sleep.”
“Spoken like a true old lady. Come on. You must be aching for some hot male. . .” I cover my hand on one side of my mouth. I mouth, “Penis.”
Patty finishes chewing the bite she took. “Girl, I’m. . .” She lifts her hands to each side of her mouth and mouths, “Penis deprived.”
I laugh.
She does too.
“We could both use a good. . .” she begins.
“Don’t say it. I get the point,” I say.
“What point?” Crew asks.
Patty chokes on her chicken, and some rice spews out of her mouth.
“Nothing, honey. Patty is just being silly,” I respond to my son. Then I look at my friend. “No more talk of. . .” Once again, I’m lifting my hand to cover my mouth. “Cock at the table.”
“What did you just say, Mommy? Did you say cock? My teacher said that is another word for chicken,” Crew reports.
“Is it getting hot in here?” Patty asks.
“Cock is another word for chicken,” I confirm to my son. Holy chicken balls, this is terrible. I’m going to scar my child or even worse he is going to show up to school tomorrow and say he ate cock for dinner.
Crew nods.
I take a large gulp of water.
After dinner, we clean the dishes, and Crew helps us.
“I want my chocolate now,” he reminds me.
I reach to a high kitchen cabinet where I keep a stash of chocolate and pass him two fingers from a Kit Kat bar. He smiles and thanks me.
