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After I eat, I feel like I’m going to crash. I have a few hours before Syd gets home. I head to my new bedroom and set an alarm. I crash the minute my head hits the pillow.
CHAPTERTWO
Connor
What did I get myself into? I needed a nanny for Syd, but desperation is never good. I know Ellie is Patty’s friend and she’s been talking to me about this girl for days now, but what she forgot to mention is Ellie is a hot mess. Not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. Shit! I’m pretty sure she caught me staring at her tits in that thinner than hell pajama shirt she was wearing. What does that say about me? I should not be staring at my daughter’s nanny’s chest. But how could I not? She clearly was flustered and must have forgotten she wasn’t wearing a bra. Her breasts look to be a handful, her eyes a gorgeous green, and her hair is almost the same color as Syd’s. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if people would mistake them for mother and daughter. I blink the thought away. I’m clearly not looking for a relationship. Definitely not one with my new nanny. I can barely get out of bed by myself. I need to make sure Syd is well looked after, and it seems Ellie has a magic touch with her.
My cell rings and I see Sybil’s name light up the screen. I’m definitely not in the mood for my ex this morning. We dated in high school but we weren’t in love. My situation at home was shit. My mom was sick and my dad had a grocery list of health issues. Sybil was a distraction. She got pregnant and her family pressured her to break up with me. They wanted to give Syd away for adoption. I wasn’t having it. I threatened to go to the news station with the story and so they invited me to live with them. I made sure Sybil took her vitamins and ate well. Went with her to her doctor appointments. I lived with Sybil for the first year of Syd’s life. It was clear by then we weren’t going to work out. Sybil wanted the life of a single person. She wanted to go to college and leave Syd with a nanny. We went our own ways. I entered the NHL. Sybil left for university in another province. She was never much of a mom to Syd, which is the heartbreaking part of this whole story. Because as much as I love my daughter and try to give her everything I can, I always feel like it’s not enough. I always feel like Syd is looking for a mother figure. Like that’s the missing piece to my daughter’s puzzle. I’ve had no time to date and given my status in the NHL. . .well, it means that sometimes I attract the wrong kind of girl. That has meant I sometimes hook up with a woman while we are out of town, but it’s never serious and doesn’t last beyond one night.
The phone rings for a second round since I let it go to voicemail the first time. Sybil’s family owns an aerospace company. They are rich and think they can do whatever they want. I didn’t want my kid growing up in that kind of environment and Sybil was never into Syd anyway.
“Hello,” I bark into the phone.
“Connor. Good. Glad I caught you,” Sybil says.
“Why’s that?” I ask dryly. I can’t say that we have a cordial relationship. I’ve always needed her to stand up and act like Syd’s mom and she’s too busy to take on the role, which pisses the shit out of me.
“You’re hurt, Connor. I still care for you and Syd. I want to make sure you’re both okay,” she says. Thanks to the news she discovered I was injured.
“I’m managing,” I say.
“Will you be able to stay in the United States or will you be coming home?” she asks, referring to Canada.
“I’m staying here,” I reply. I don’t know how long my visa can be extended, especially if the team decides to trade me or put me on long-term leave. All I know is there is nothing for me back home. My parents died years ago. Sybil’s family has no interest in spending time with Syd, and Sybil has herself a new man. A guy her parents approve of from another billionaire family they do business with.
“Warren wants to meet Syd. I was thinking of coming out to New York,” she says. Her timing fucking sucks too.
My heart kicks up a notch. She was never interested in Syd, so I didn’t have anything to worry about where custody was concerned. Now that she’s settling down, maybe she wants to show her new man she has a maternal bone somewhere in her body.
“Connor, are you there?” she asks.
I blink.
“When are you coming to New York?” I ask.
“The plan is for me to come in the next few weeks. I don’t have a date. I just wanted to throw the idea out there.” I notice her word choice. ‘The plan’ meaning she may change her mind and not actually show, in true Sybil manner. She never understood our daughter needs nurturing, love, and stability. Probably because she herself doesn’t know what love is. When we dated in high school, I was a horny teenage boy. I didn’t see past her good looks. When Syd was born, I thought maybe Sybil was going through some depression. She was young and it was a huge life change. Then I realized her worldview was just very different than mine. She was raised by nannies while her parents worked. They never made time for her. When Syd was born, I felt bad for Sybil because her parents were so uninterested in our new baby daughter. Sadly, she was the same.
“Right now, I’m bedridden, so let me get up and running again and it will be no problem for us to meet you,” I say to her.
“I want to see your apartment. You don’t have to be up. I want to know how my baby girl is living.” Her words set off alarm bells in my mind.
“I’ll send the address whenever you tell me you’re coming.” I don’t want to let on I can smell her bullshit from a mile away. She’s getting married and she wants our daughter back, but she isn’t the right person to raise Syd. Hell, after spending a weekend with Sybil and her family, before we left Canada a year ago, Syd came back to me and just stopped talking the way she used to. She still speaks to me, but she got quiet. She became reserved. She stopped talking to people who would be considered acquaintances.
“Good,” Sybil replies. “We’ll be in touch. Take care of yourself, Connor.”
“Thanks. Take Care,” I reply.
We end the call. I can’t fall asleep, even though I was advised to sleep and rest as much as possible to ensure my body heals in a timely manner. There is no way I can give Sybil custody of our daughter. We are good here in New York. It took Syd time to adjust, but she’s made friends. She really likes my teammate Liam’s son, Crew. They have become best buds. Back home Syd didn’t make friends so easy.
I may be out for the rest of the season, but I plan on coming back stronger next year. I hope to make New York a stable home for Syd and me. Now I just need to find a way to become an American citizen. That part isn’t so easy.
CHAPTERTHREE
Ellie
Since I won’t have any days off for the next month, Connor said I could have time off during the day when Syd is in school, so I’m heading over to my nana’s for a visit. The bus ride is about half an hour so I sit back and just relax, thinking of last night. I made Syd chicken tenders with a side salad and couscous, and she loved it. At least her smile led me to believe it was good. I then asked her to shower and after we cuddled on the couch and read a book, or at least I read the book to her. We watched the Disney Channel for about an hour before she wanted me to tuck her into bed. She’s a very sweet girl, but I hate that she doesn’t feel comfortable enough to speak to me. She only took me by the hand and led me to wherever she wanted to go. I’m hoping she’ll get more comfortable with me as time passes. Connor isn’t able to give her much attention right now, and I know what it’s like to be a lonely kid.
I say hi to the doorman when I arrive at Nana’s condo. I head up the elevator, which exits straight into her apartment. She’s been spending more and more time at home since being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Since she’s in her eighties, the doctors told her the progression of the disease could be slow and so she’s decided to forgo any treatment.
