Page 40 of Behold Her


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“Man, I’m so jealous.” Grace sighs and leans back in her chair before taking a sip of her red wine. “The last time I had decent sex was…well never, I guess.” She lets out a humorless laugh. “According to Zack, I was frigid.”

“Fuck that. Zack is a manipulative piece of shit who never deserved to touch you.” My voice raises enough for a few heads to turn our way.

“You’re right. It’s just…what if he’s right? I’d never been with anyone before him, but he’d been with other women before me. And during me. Ugh. I can’t shake the thought that I’m the reason why I have bad sex.”

Grace never mentioned this to me before, but I suspected with how she’s been chasing new sexual experiences since her divorce. “You are not the problem. A lot of men are bad, selfish lovers. If you don’t know what to ask for, that makes it even worse. Trust me. Max is the only guy I’ve gotten off with. And it’s not from a lack of trying.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “Really? What makes him different?”

He pretends to be a monster and fucks me like a whore.Not that I can tell her that. “We talked about what I want. What I need to enjoy sex. And he actually gave a shit and listened.”

“What if—” Grace looks around and lowers her voice, leaning in again. “What if what I want isn’t normal?”

“You should really talk to Blair about this,” I say without thinking of what I asked her earlier.

Her face turns a deep red. “I’m not into Blair!” she protests, the telltale squeak of deception in her voice again.

“That’s not what I meant. She’s a domme. If anyone can help assure you that normal doesn’t matter when it comes to sex, it’s her.”

Grace’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. “Sheis?!”

“Yep! Here, I’ll give you her number—I’m sure she won’t mind talking to you at all. She’s helped me a lot.”

“Wow, okay.” Grace looks dazed by the thought.

I’m not setting them up. I’m just trying to help Grace realize there’s nothing wrong with her. If they happen to hit it off and explore things together, so be it.

Who am I kidding? I’d love for Grace to have someone in her love life that appreciates her for the goddess she is. If anyone seems capable of that, it’s Blair. Or at least capable of dominating any doubts out of her. I’m curious what Grace is into, but if I ask, then she’ll expect me to share what I like. I can’t have that conversation while I’m so on edge.

Shit, I’m so nervous. I consider texting Max and telling him I can’t do what he asked or having Grace escort me to my car instead of walking there alone. I down the rest of my drink and take my hand off my phone, forcing myself to focus on Grace and not the minutes ticking away toward what awaits me.

* * *

The hourof my departure finally arrives. I startle as the alarm I set on my phone goes off, almost knocking the empty glass in front of me off the table.

“Crap, I need to get going. I have a…thing.”

Grace smirks at me knowingly. “A Max thing?”

I clutch my phone with a vise-like grip to keep her from seeing how my hands shake with adrenaline. “Yes, sorry to bail on you.”

“Don’t apologize. I think it’s time for me to reschedule that date with Tomas,” she replies with a casual wave of her hand toward the handsome bartender. “Do you want me to walk out with you?”

Yes, please save me.“Nope, I’m good. I’ll see you on Wednesday?”

Grace nods and then gives me a tickled grin, like there’s a joke that I’m not in on. “Night! Say hi to Max for me!”

“Bye!” I force my tone to be light, but my wobbly legs almost betray me as I walk out of the bar.

The cool night air washes over me as soon as I step outside, and I take a shaky inhale in a futile attempt to calm myself. I’m frozen in place for a few long breaths, working up the nerve to start walking.

“Calm down, Mona. You want this. You need this. Just go!” I mutter to myself, then set my jaw in determination as I head down the street. I’m unsteady on the beautiful heels Max bought me. Anyone who could see me would think I’m intoxicated from the way I stumble and sway every few feet. That’s if anyone was out here to see me. The streets of “downtown” Moonvale grow empty as I get closer to the remote lot I parked in. When I see my car in the distance under the flickering street lights, it’s the only one in the lot.

I’m alone. No one is around to save me.

Maybe Max isn’t here. Maybe he was just trying to give me a rush with the anticipation. I release a high-pitched bubble of laughter. Of course. He wouldn’t attack me out in the streets where anyone could see us. What was I thinking?

I sigh and pull out my phone to check for messages from Max. As the screen unlocks, I hear something nearby. The sound of glass crunching underfoot. My eyes dart away from my phone and I spin around in place, looking for the source. The night seems to press in on me with its darkness, and I realize the streetlights on this block have gone out.

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