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“How am I supposed to trust anything you say? You lied to me when we met, and then you just kept lying. Fuck, Blair was right. Was anything real?” Tears slide down her cheeks. I open my mouth to answer but she shakes her head. “You know what? I don’t want to know. I can’t—” She pushes past me to move out of the alley, and I grab her arm to stop her. Her eyes blaze with anger as she tears out of my grip. “Don’t touch me!”
Tears flood my eyes. How can I make this better? I have to make this better. I can’t lose her. Not again. Please gods, not again. “I didn’t lie about anything else. I wouldn’t. I love you, Mona.”
She stumbles away from me, like my words are a slap across her face. “No.”
“I do. Please, Mona. I’m in love with you.”
She shakes her head, strands of black hair falling in front of her face as she continues to back away. “You aren’t. You can’t be. Why couldn’t you have just left me alone? I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want to love…” Her voice trails off into a broken sob.
I move to pull her to my chest and for a moment, she lets me hold her. “Baby, you’re everything to me,” I whisper against her hair.
It’s the wrong thing to do because she inhales sharply and shoves away from me. “I’m not! Why would anyone like you want me unless…I’m so stupid. I can’t do this.” She pulls her phone out of her bag and starts texting, wiping her eyes as tears continue to flood down her face.
My mind reels. Anger and despair mix inside me, begging me to tell her she’s wrong. To argue with her and make her understand. But nothing comes out of my mouth. I’m paralyzed as memories of past heartbreak swarm my mind. She won’t believe me. No one ever does.
I’m a monster.
She looks up after her phone pings with a response to her text, but she doesn’t meet my eye when she speaks. “Blair is in the city, and she’s coming to get me. I’m going to go wait at the coffee shop across the street. Please tell your family I’m sorry I can’t make it tomorrow.”
“Mona—” My voice finally returns, breaking as she turns away from me. “I’ll take you home. Please don’t—”
She doesn’t stay to listen, walking out of the alley and across the street. She doesn’t even look back, and for once, I find myself unable to chase her.
35
Unwilling to leave Mona alone in this part of town but unable to gather the strength to beg her to talk to me, I lurk in the shadows near the cafe until Blair comes to pick her up. My mind screams at me to stop her from driving away. To throw myself in front of the car and refuse to move until she understands I didn’t mean to hurt her. I don’t, of course. I’ve retreated into pain and despair. Old wounds torn open and my hope of something good in my life draining out of me.
Gods, I’m a broken, pathetic fool.
I hear my sisters calling my name, their heads swiveling up and down the street in search of me. With reluctance, I drop my shroud of darkness and join them. Their faces all fall as they see the anguish written on mine.
Samantha gets to me first, rushing forward with a scowl. For a moment, I think she’s about to berate me for fucking up. But, no, she pulls me into her arms and crushes me against her chest with a shocking amount of strength. “Shit, Max. Are you okay?”
Her uncharacteristic kindness snaps the last thread of my frayed composure. Hot, stinging tears pour down my cheeks and wracking sobs shake my chest as she continues to hold me. “Fuck, I’m so sorry,” she murmurs, rubbing soothing circles across my back.
Claire and Maggie join us, crowding in around me from all sides to form a cocoon-like hug they haven’t given me since my cat Sofie died six years ago. I try to breathe as they hold me. But the tighter I attempt to control my feelings, the more they slip free.
“It’s okay, Maxie,” Maggie says gently.
“We’re here,” Claire adds. A warm rush of her magic courses through me as she casts a calming spell on me. The pain remains, but I don’t feel like I’m about to crumble to pieces on this dingy sidewalk.
“Thanks,” I murmur.
“Come on, we’re going back to my place. There’s no way I’m letting you drive like this.” Samantha gives me one last squeeze and my sisters all let go. She gives me a once over, then smiles at me in her typical teasing way. “Jeez, you sure are an ugly crier.”
“Fuck you,” I say, though there’s no bite to the words.
My sisters laugh and Claire grabs my hand, guiding me toward where they’re parked. She leans over and lowers her voice so only I can hear. “Mona cares about you, Max. Whatever happened doesn’t mean that you’re too flawed to love. You’re the most lovable person I’ve ever met.”
I huff out a humorless laugh. “Thanks, but you’re obligated to say that.”
“Don’t be an ass. You know I don’t lie about these sorts of things.”
It’s true, she doesn’t. Her affronted glare sends a tremor of hope through my chest. “Sorry. Thank you, Claire.” I squeeze her hand, then speak louder. “You know you’re my favorite sister.”
Maggie and Samantha both scoff, knowing that I love all three of them with my whole heart.
“Give it time, Max. She’s your match.” Maggie’s tone allows no room for argument. She’s always claimed to have matchmaking powers, and for once I desperately want to believe in them.
