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Sitting in the bathroom, I stare at the clock on my phone.Three minutes.How can that time normally go by so fast? Yet now, as I wait for either one pink line or two, it drags on slower than molasses. I’ve never prayed harder for anything than I am for one lonely line. I know many women would pray for the opposite result.
They want children. I don’t. They know how to be a mother. I don’t. It’s not that I hate kids, I love them. My nephews are important to me, I adore them. I work tirelessly to save innocent children from the monsters trying to steal their innocence. Every man I kill involved in trafficking, saves children. But…
Some people have no business raising them. Most women have learned what to do or not to do from their own parents. I barely remember mine. I have only a handful of memories, all before the age of four. Besides, my life is filled with danger. I kill people frequently. It’s never going to slow down because there’s always a snake to take the place of the last one, I killed.
Two minutes.
The time is not up yet, but I can’t stop myself from glancing at the item I’ve begun to hate. I hate the prospect that my entire life could change in an instant, all from this piece of plastic. Then I see it—two pink lines.
Trevor gets everything he’s ever dreamed of. I get everything I never wanted.
I press my hand to my nauseous stomach, “You aren’t supposed to be here. This is the last place you want to be. I’m sorry, I’ll fix this. I can’t have you. I can’t do this to either of us.”
I hear Trevor come into the bedroom, so I put the test and the packaging at the back of the cupboard. He cannot know about this. If he did, he would fight me every step of the way. I can’t handle the heartbreak I’d see on his face. I’m taking his child from him. He’ll never hold him or her because of me. I’m a monster. I don’t deserve him, but I’m a selfish monster, so this is the one secret I’ll keep from my husband.
When I asked my brother why he doesn’t simply not tell his wife about work-related things since it upset her so much, he said, ‘Secrets kill marriages, Mia. One secret can destroy everything you’ve built.’
There is nothing more cruel than the truth. Honesty can destroy a man quicker than a flying bullet. This secret would shred him inside out. So, I’ll take this secret to the grave with me. It’ll protect him as much as it does me.
I open the door and find Trevor standing in front of me, “Kitten, are you feeling okay? You were in there for a while.”
I nod, “I’m fine.”
Within seconds, I’m in his arms as he holds me tight against his chest.
“Is everything okay?”
He sighs, “Yeah everything is fine, baby. Somehow, I suddenly had this feeling of great loss. I can’t explain it. But you’re here, so everything is okay.”
Leaning down, he kisses my neck, “Do you want me to make dinner or devour your beautiful body first?”
I groan, “Both sound good, but I have to go.”
Stepping back, he stares at me with a scowl on his face, “Where do you think you’re going, Kitten?”
I walk into the bathroom and grab my purse I left on the counter, “To the safe house, I promised Savannah I’d visit.”
He steps toward me, and I back up. When he moves again, so do I until my back hits the wall. Trevor places his hands on the wall on either side of me and growls, “I told you it was time for a break.”
I whisper, “I took a break.”
The darkness in his eyes is ferocious, like an animal ready to strike, “Not long enough.”
Rolling my eyes, I say, “Trevor.”
“One day you’ll realize I know what you need, Mia. I know your every desire before you say the words. Hell, I know what you want before you even know it, yourself.”
“Maybe, but I’m going, so please move.”
He runs the pad of his thumb across my lips, “Is that a fact, Kitten?”
“Yes,” I try to sound strong, but it comes out as a weak whimper.
“Get on your fucking knees, Mia. Now.”
TREVOR
Nobody knows Mia better than I do. Nobody. Not her brother. Not even Mia herself. I don’t know what’s got her in a whirlwind, but something has her all fucked up inside. I know when she needs me to take her out of her head for a little while. As fucking defiant as she is, there’s nothing she loves more than when I take complete control and give her no choice in the matter.
