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“Things are better than good. I mean, he’s sweet and thoughtful. I never expected him to be any of those things, to be honest,” I admit. “Given what he does for a living, I expected him to be kind of… mean. I thought he might be one of those meathead jocks who just want to beat people up and think they’re better than everybody. But he’s not like that. He takes care of me.”
“And let’s not forget that he’s sexy as hell.”
I laugh. “Yeah, he’s that too. But he’s more than that. A lot more.”
I turn my face up to the sun and smile to myself. It’s a beautiful, sunny, and warm day so we decided to have lunch in the quad outside rather than sit in the student union. The tables around us are crowded since apparently other people have the same idea, and the buzz of conversation is loud. All I’ve been able to think about lately is Dawson. My life has felt like a whirlwind from the night we met until now, and it only seems to be getting better with every passing day. It seemed silly at the time, but I really do feel like I’ve somehow stumbled into a fairy tale.
Sammy leans forward, a sly grin on her lips. “So, I suppose it’s safe to assume that my little girl isn’t such a little girl anymore?”
My cheeks immediately flush and my face burns, but I can’t keep the silly grin off my face. I look away instead and try to hide it with my hand. Sammy squeals and pulls me into a tight hug, rocking us back and forth on the bench and giggling like she’s gone mad. Laughing and my face still burning with an embarrassed heat, I extricate myself and sit back.
“Babe, I’m so proud of you,” Sammy squeals. “I honestly never thought I’d live to see the day you gave up your V-card.”
“Oh my God, keep it down, Sammy,” I say with an awkward laugh. “I don’t want everybody knowing my business!”
She’s talking so loudly that I quickly glance around, afraid that everybody in the quad can hear her. Nobody seems to be paying attention to us, though. Thank God.
“Sorry.” She absolutely doesn’t look sorry, not one bit. “I’m just super excited for you.”
I just shake my head and laugh to myself as I try to slow my racing heart. My face is still burning with embarrassment, making Sammy giggle.
“So? How is the sex?” Sammy asks.
“Oh my god, you’re shameless.”
“Damn right, I am. I want details, girl.”
I purse my lips and fight to keep the grin off my face. I shouldn’t encourage her. And I really shouldn’t be kissing and telling. But holding all the happiness and wonder is like a building pressure inside of me. I feel like if I don’t talk about it, I might actually explode. And Sammy is like my sister. She and I share everything, so why wouldn’t I share this important milestone in my life with her?
“It’s amazing,” I gush. “More amazing than anything I’ve ever imagined.”
She grins wolfishly. “Details, babe. Details.”
I shake my head, trying to come up with the words. “I don’t know. He’s just so big and physical. He could be rough with me sometimes, and the weird thing is that the rougher he is, the more I like it. The rougher I want him to be,” I tell her. “I honestly never thought I’d be that kind of a girl, but apparently I am.”
“It’s not surprising. You’re such a control freak and so rigid about everything in your life that giving up control to somebody in this one aspect and letting yourself feel out of control for a change is probably really intense. I’m sure it’s so different for you that it feels really hot and sexy. Lots of us like it a little rough, babe. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“That’s kind of what I was thinking, but I wasn’t sure. I kind of thought it made me some kind of a deviant or something,” I say with a laugh.
“Far from it. Sex is something that’s supposed to be fun. Something that’s supposed to bring us pleasure. And as long as you two aren’t hurting anybody else and are good with whatever form that takes with each other, that’s a beautiful thing. There’s nothing wrong with it and nothing you should feel ashamed of or embarrassed about.”
“That’s the thing… I don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. Not really. I just didn’t know this side of me existed.”
“Sounds like he’s bringing out the beast in you, girl.”
“Yeah, maybe so.”
“That’s not a bad thing. In fact, I’d say that’s a really good thing. You’re always bound up so tight, I’m glad to see you letting your hair down and enjoying life for a change. You’ve always taken life and school way too seriously.”
“I want to have a career. Of course, I’m going to take school seriously.”
“I know and I’m not knocking you for that,” she replies. “I just think it’s good that you’re finally learning to mix in a little fun and pleasure with that serious side. It’s healthy. Balance is always a good thing, babe.”
“So, you are fucking him.”
I turn my head quickly and see Zack standing on the other side of the table, his eyes narrowed and a scowl on his face. My heart stutters and I feel that warmth bleed into my face again as I inexplicably feel a rush of embarrassment. I don’t know how long he’s been standing there eavesdropping on our conversation, but it’s apparently been long enough that he heard what I was telling Sammy.
“I thought so,” he growls.
