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Hoodoo places his medkit on the floor beside us and nods. “You still feeling queasy?”
Novah nods. “Absolutely, and a little dizzy.”
“All right. I’m gonna give you something to hopefully stop your tummy from turning. But I’m gonna need you to drink some Hydralyte to help with your electrolytes and hydration. Can you do that for me?”
Novah nods, and Hoodoo goes about getting the meds ready for her while I sit back, wondering how much my life is going to change in the next few weeks. What if the lump is the worst-case scenario? What if it is as bad as it gets? What if I am not even around in the next five months to see my grandbabies enter the world?
My eyes begin to water, and I have to blink them rapidly to stop my tears from falling. Clearing my throat, I move to stand, allowing Hoodoo to do whatever he needs while I hang back out of the way. Wrapping my arms around myself, I try to stop my racing thoughts from running away with me.
I need to stay here.
In this moment.
And not focus onwhat-ifs.
Because that shit spirals out of control.
Hoodoo stands beside me, his eyes watching me casually as Bayou and Novah sit together on the bathroom floor.
“Okay, well… I’m going to head off. I think I’ll go to The Plantation to see Maxxy, but if y’all need me for anything, you just give me a call, okay?” Hoodoo states, heading for the door.
I glance down at Novah and Bayou and smile at them. “Hoodoo, I’ll walk you out.” I gesture that I’ll be back in a minute and turn to walk out of their room.
Hoodoo looks me up and down. “You doing okay, Ingrid? You look a little…off.”
We reach the door and step outside into the hall, and I make sure to close the door behind us so Novah and Bayou can’t hear. “Actually, I wanted to pick your brain about something… for a friend.”
“Okay… shoot.” He leans his shoulder against the wall, folding his arms over his chest.
“So, this friend… she went and had a mammogram. They found a shadow. She has to go back for a biopsy, but I’m wondering what she needs to look out for?”
He narrows his eyes on me and stands taller like he can see right through my ‘friend’ act. “Well, your ‘friend’ should get the biopsy as soon as possible. Early detection is key.”
“She is, she’s going real soon.”
He nods. “Okay, good. In that case, they will check for certain cells. If they find anything suspicious, they will remove the lump with margins to ensure they have cleared it all. But there are times when a mastectomy may be needed if they find more than one lump or if the lump is too big.”
They explained all this to me at the screening suites, but I don’t think it actually sunk in. And hearing it for a second time is making it feel fucking real. “And if they remove the lump, or even the breast in its entirety, then that’s all good, right?”
Hoodoo grimaces. “Maybe. Depends on the pathology of the cells, the margins, and whether the cells have spread. If, when they do the scans, it has spread to the lymph nodes, well, it will require more extensive treatments… and possibly a different outcome. It’s all variable.”
My bottom lip trembles, and I plaster on a fake smile. “Thank you, Hoodoo.”
His sad eyes look me over, and he reaches out, gripping my arm. “If you need someone to talk to, you know you can confide in me confidentially.”
Sniffling, I wipe a tear that falls down my face and clear my throat. “I’m fine. I have to be. I have grandbabies coming.”
He exhales, tightening his grip on me. “Does Hurricane know your diagnosis?”
He’s not beating around the bush anymore.
I shake my head. “Only you and South know. And I want to keep it that way. With Novah and the babies, the Bratva and the Baroness, there are too many things going on for my kids to worry about right now. I don’t need them concerned until I know what I’m dealing with myself.”
Hoodoo rubs the back of his neck. “When’s the biopsy?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Someone going with you? You’ll be too sore to drive on your own.”
