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I opened the door and slid into the driver’s seat. The car smelled like fresh cut apples, and I wondered if she would taste the same.
I mentally shook my head. She was clearly distressed, and I did not need to be fantasizing about her right now.
“You okay?” I asked after the silence spread for too long.
“I think so. I just…. Panic attack maybe. Who knows? I had to get out of there. I’m fine here. You can go back in with Gio. I don’t want to ruin his day.” Her words bled together as she rushed them out. Her breaths came in uneven bursts.
I took her hand in mine, and she gasped, her breaths slowing when she looked into my eyes. “Breathe,” I said, just like I did with Gio. She inhaled deeply, her chest rising and falling with the action.
“And out,” I said, doing the breathing exercise with her. “Better?”
She inhaled deeply, her chest rising and falling with her exhale. “A little.”
I should’ve let her hand go, but I liked how it fit so snug in my own, so I held on a little longer, running my thumb over her knuckles.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Having three sisters, I learned over the years that sometimes they didn’t need me to offer any unsolicited advice; they needed a sounding board to get out all the emotions building up inside. I was good at listening because of it.
“Not really, and I’m sorry if that sounds bad or like I’m hiding something, but I’m just not ready… I mean, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why would I think you’re hiding something?” I asked, and her hand stiffened in mine. Maybe Mom was right. Maybe I should have done a background check.
No. I might not have known Quinn for long, but she was a good person, that much I could tell without some piece of paper with her credentials and history telling me. Words were just that—words. They couldn’t show me her character.
That now familiar white zinfandel blush spread across her cheeks, covering the sheer white skin. “I…” Her words faltered, and she took another deep breath. “I guess we all have secrets, don’t we? Things we think don’t necessarily make us look good but are just made up of insecurities and other people’s perceptions.”
I leaned into the driver’s seat, still holding her hand and continuing to rub gentle strokes across her knuckles. “When Gio’s mom left us, there was a lot of talk from people. Being a small town, most knew her and weren’t too surprised, but the ones who didn’t judged me. As if I was the reason a woman would abandon her son.”
Quinn shifted, bringing her knee up on the seat and focusing her attention on me. “She just left?” Her eyebrows turned in, little lines of confusion dotting the bridge of her nose.
“Yeah, she just left.”
“I’ve had my whole life to come to terms with my father leaving. He was young, probably stupid, and not ready for the responsibility. But he also didn’t carry me for nine months and give birth to me. I can’t imagine a mother leaving her child.” Her lids lifted, big brown eyes zeroing in on me and sucking my breath right out of my damn chest. “Tell me more.”
Gearing the conversation away from her was a tactic I knew too well. And while I was eager to know more about her and what brought her to Vine Valley, it also had been a long time since I felt comfortable enough to open up to someone.
Maybe if I was honest with her, she would be honest with me.
“I was blinded by her for so long. My brother tried to warn me off marrying her, but I thought he was being an asshole. It caused a huge fight between us. Then my grandfather agreed with Laurent and… it hurt. My ex made me believe they didn’t want me to be happy, and in hindsight, that is the most ridiculous thing imaginable. My brother and grandfather have and will always want the best for me. I can count on them for anything. But she was manipulative, and I realized she wanted them out of the picture because she wanted me all to herself. When Gio was born, I thought she would realize the bond between family since she had never been close with her own, but instead, it made her jealous. She tried to compete for my attention. But Gio was a newborn who needed me.”
“That must have been horrible.”
I nodded. She didn’t know the half of it. I was too fucking stupid to realize her manipulation. Instead, I burdened myself with trying to make her happy while also taking on both parental roles. It didn’t fucking matter. She still acted out and disappeared for days at a time.
“I was relieved when she left us.” A hollow laugh dumped from my gut. “And for so long, I felt guilty for that. How could I be happy that my son no longer had a mother? What kind of sick bastard was I?”
“You weren’t a sick bastard. You were a father who knew what was best for his son, and his mother wasn’t it. Not everyone is meant to be a parent.”
“She definitely wasn’t.”
“But you are. You’re a great father, Franc, and I’m not sure you know that.”
“It’s hard to sometimes, especially when I’m stressed out and I feel like the world is tilting all around me. Before you showed up in our lives… I was… lost.” Not fully aware of the truth in those words until they were out, my lip quirked. “You help tilt my world back into place and keep me from stumbling around. So maybe you do have a secret you’re keeping from me, but honestly, I don’t fucking care. You’ve given me room to breathe when before I thought I was suffocating. So whatever this is”—I waved a hand toward her—“I don’t care. Please don’t leave us.”
Her hand tightened on mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”
My entire body slumped into the seat. “Thank God.” But shit, was I being selfish? She was just in a full-blown panic attack and here I was shifting the focus, which I think helped, but did I add even more pressure to her?
I straightened, needing her to understand me. “But if you ever feel like Gio is too much, I’d understand. I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to be a selfish prick who makes you feel obligated to stay, either.”
