AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It shouldn’t be like this; it wasn’t meant to be like this; Dad always promised that he and Mom would be there to help me through it. A scream tears out of me that immediately morphs into a howl as the shift starts.
“Deep breath and shove everything behind it, force the shift, don't wait for it. Force it, Everly,” she says.
I throw everything behind it like my mother said, bypassing the agony of shifting. Suddenly, my hands are replaced with paws, my skin is covered in thick fur, and my face becomes more elongated. My canines feel sharp as I run my tongue along them.
I look at my paws and tail, trying to see myself. From the little I can see like this, I appear to be a strange off-white color, almost a blue hue under the moonlight.
Using the glass to get a better look at myself, I see I am pure white, my fur one color, only small, tiny, and thin—so small, I look like an omega as I peer at myself. I look up at my mother in the window holding my son, one hand covering her mouth in dismay. She is clearly shocked at my size, the size of a castaway. I'll be easy pickings for anything that decides to hunt me. And my wolf will only get smaller and weaker the longer I go without my mate.
My father comes over and looks out the window, a stormy expression on his face; he is disappointed. I'm not much bigger than a German Shepherd, which is embarrassingly small. Most rogues would be less insignificant than me. Was this punishment from being stripped bare of everything? This is what's left of me? My father tugs the curtain closed like he can’t look at me any longer, like he is disgusted, and I am too.
I didn’t know it was possible to feel more shame.
Mortified at how weak I feel, I press my nose against the glass just as a crack of thunder echos in the sky, waking him. When I hear my father walk off, my mother tugs the curtain open a bit before sitting on the couch, so I can see my son. I watch him through the glass, wishing more than anything I could comfort him, but knowing it is best this way. He is safe, warm and, more importantly, dry.
My mother manages to get him to sleep and creates a makeshift bassinet on the couch. Eventually, I fall asleep too, my head resting on the brick ledge under the window.
When the sun starts to come up, I quickly shift back, putting on my drenched clothes while doing my best to carefully ring them out, trying to remove some of the water as I go. Just as I pull the last of the sopping wet clothes on, the front door opens, and my father steps out of the house. I peer up at him from my spot on the ground near the window where I had been crouched. He doesn’t even look at me—instead, tosses me some cash rolled up with a rubber band.
“I want you gone before I get home. Don’t ever come back, Everly,'' he says before walking toward his car, not even glancing at me. I reach forward, grab the rolled-up cash, and look after him.
Despite how badly my heart is breaking—he wouldn’t even acknowledge me—I still love the man. He's my father, and tossing me away like garbage hurts; it hurts severely, finally making me realize I am nothing but garbage to everyone.
The door opens, and my mother puts her head out to see if he is gone before ushering me into the house.
My sister comes running out with a backpack and some dry clothes. She hands me a towel and I dry myself off before slipping on the jeans, shirt, and hoodie she brought out for me.
“Here, take these,” she says, handing me a pair of her Nike shoes. I slip the socks on before placing the shoes on my feet. My mother is still holding my son like she doesn’t want to let him go.
“I called a taxi to come to get you,” my mother tells me while Ava hands me a bag.
“Some clothes, toiletries, feminine products, girlie stuff. I also put all the cash from my safe in there,” my sister says, and I swallow.
“Ava, I can't take that,” I tell her.
“You might as well. I can’t go to university now anyway. Dad is making me take over the pack next year.”
A feeling of guilt overwhelms me—not only did I fuck my life up, but I ruined my sister's too. Now she is being forced to be Alpha. Ava wanted to go to college and study some science thing when I was still set to take over. She is wicked smart, and I ruined her plans by getting pregnant. Ava doesn’t look upset, though; just like she's accepted it.
“Take it. My old phone is in there too, and the charger. I will make sure to reload some minutes every month for you, so I can get a hold of you,” Ava says, and my mother nods.
“He doesn’t have to know. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” my mother tells me.
“So, you will come to see us, visit us?” I ask her, hopeful. Her face drops.
“No, you know I can’t, but you can send us photos of… you never did tell us his name,” my mother says.
“Valarian,” I tell them. They look at me funny, but I thought it went with his father's name. Even though he will probably never meet the man, at the time, I had hoped—now not so much.
“See, you can send a picture of Valarian to us, and we can use video chat; it will be the same,” my mother says, only it won't be. It will lack the connection, the physical contact.
Chewing my lip, and I nod, saying nothing. That is as good as it's going to get. I am alone; not even my mother is willing to go against my father for her daughter. I shouldn’t have expected her to. It's near impossible for someone to go against their mate.
I never realized how much I missed human touch until I was able to hug my mother and sister, and now no longer feel it—only my son's. I crave contact, any form of interaction, conversation, someone to talk to that can talk back.
“You okay, Everly?” Ava asks, and I nod, seeing the cab waiting out the front. I take my son, my sister's bag she packed for me, and the baby bag.
“I will not see you again,” I tell them, letting those words sink in; I'm not welcome back here, and they're too scared to come see me. This will be it. They said they would call, but we all know it will only be texts, if they even manage that much without my father realizing it.
