Page 112 of Before I Tell You


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THE AROMA OF COFFEE wakes me sluggishly from my deep sleep, but with the weight of Nathan’s body pressed against me, his arm wrapped protectively around my waist, and Paul’s snores resonating from down the hall, I find myself wondering who could be making it. Carefully, I slide out from under Nathan’s arm, throw on my favorite fluffy white bathrobe, and make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where I find the coffee-making culprit.

“Hey, what are you doing home so early?” I ask Jason, glancing at the antique clock hanging on the wall and seeing that it is only 8:30 in the morning.

“Just needed to stop by to grab my football equipment on my way to practice. Figured I had a few minutes to make some coffee.” He pulls out two mugs from the cabinet in front of him, filling both with the hot liquid, and then hands one to me.

“Thanks.” I sigh, staring at the mug’s contents.

Jason furrows his brows. “Everything ok?”

“Yes. No. Well, actually …” I pause before blurting, “Can we talk when you get back from practice?”

“Oh God, I knew this day was coming,” Jason groans.

“You did?”

“Yeah, and listen, we really don’t need to talk about it,” Jason says matter-of-factly.

“Well, I think we should talk about it. I mean, you are my brother, and I think you should know—”

“Listen,” he puts his mug of coffee on the counter before continuing, “I’m going to stop you right there. If you feel guilty or whatever, don’t. You’re forgiven. But if it’ll make you feel better, just leave a ten on my bureau, and let’s promise never to speak of this again,” he pleads.

“I’m forgiven?” I ask incredulously. “What are you talking about?” I place my mug of coffee abruptly on the counter in annoyance.

Jason’s eyes widen, staring at me like I have three heads. “You’re going to make me say this out loud, aren’t you?”

I gape at him, feeling so confused, and wait for a response.

He covers his face with his hands as he mumbles, “You took condoms out of my nightstand.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. OH! MY! GOD!” My cheeks rapidly heat up from his words as I now cover my face in embarrassment.

Jason’s hands leave his face, revealing he’s just as tomato red as I am. “You’re the one who made me say it!” Then, noticing the horrified expression on my face, he asks, “What? Is that not what you wanted to talk about?”

“No! God no!” I practically scream.

“Oh fuck, well, now this is awkward.”

“You think? God, can you please never bring that up again? It was one time!” I state, throwing my hands in the air dramatically.

“Hey, you’re the one who said you had something to talk about. I just assumed that’s what it was about,” he counters.

We both stand in silence, unable to make eye contact as we drink our coffees, until Jason clears his throat. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Let’s just talk when you get home,” I suggest. “I need to shower and forget this conversation ever happened.”

Jason chuckles. “Works for me.”

He begins to gulp down his coffee when Nathan barrels into the kitchen.

“Is everything ok? I heard screaming.” Nathan’s eyes are panicked as he glances around the room, but he immediately relaxes when he realizes it’s just Jason and me.

Jason puts down his cup and throws his sports bag over his shoulder. I notice his cheeks are crimson again, most likely from not wanting to tell my boyfriend that he supplied the condoms for our first time together. Guess I can’t blame him when he says, “Well, that’s my cue to go.”

“Wait,” I interject, “would you and Grace want to get pizza and sit out by the fire pit tonight? Nathan and I won’t be leaving until tomorrow morning.”

“Sure. I’ll check with the old ball and chains, but I’m sure she’ll be down for that,” he says before walking out of the house.

Nathan looks at me. “What was all that about?”

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