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“You must be drunker than me,” I say as I process what he just said.
The spinning is beginning to fade the more I focus on how nice his hand feels on my back. The motion sends tiny shivers down my spine.
“No, it’s true.” He goes silent for a moment like he is thinking about something. “All those years, I watched guys drool over you, and I always felt this insane need to protect you from assholes like that, and I never understood why. But now I do. Having you in my arms now … I’ve never felt like this with anyone.”
I am having a really hard time understanding what he is saying with the ringing echoing in my ears, so I don’t say anything.
“Natalie, can I ask you a question?” His hand slowly moves higher up my back.
“Mhmm …” is the only noise I manage to make.
He pauses his movement. “Why did you and Vanessa stop being friends?”
“Because of him … and that night. The snow was so cold,” I mumble into his chest as I burrow into him closer.
“Because of who?” he asks.
I can feel the muscles in his arms tense, but I have nothing left in me. Exhaustion wins.
The last thing I feel are his lips kissing my forehead before he whispers, “Goodnight, beautiful.”
* * *
My head is throbbing. No, more like pounding. No, it’s throbbingandpounding. It’s like someone took a jackhammer to my skull and forgot to shut it off.
Ugh.
I slowly pull my comforter off while keeping one hand in the air to block any and all sunlight from hitting my eyes as I shuffle to the bathroom. When I squint in the mirror, I see that my makeup is still on from the night before. It’s smudged around my eyes, making me look like a zombie raccoon. I’m wearing the same outfit I had on last night too, plus an oversized grey sweatshirt that smells of Nathan. I inhale his scent and instantly start to relax.
I take everything off and jump into a scalding hot shower. The smell of apples and peaches fills the air as I lather body wash on my loofa and begin wiping last night's humiliation off my skin. After filling the bathroom with steam, I turn off the water and step out of the shower feeling the tiniest bit refreshed. I put on my big white bathrobe and matching slippers before going down the main staircase, following the heavenly coffee aroma to the kitchen.
“Hey,” I say when I see Jason sitting at the kitchen island with a mug of coffee in his hand. His hair is ruffled, and he is wearing a pair of plaid pajama bottoms with a white T-shirt, looking like he just rolled out of bed.
“Hey, Natalie,” he says, hiding a smile behind his coffee.
“Don’t start with me.” I grab a mug from inside the cabinet and fill it with coffee. Then after fiddling in the medicine cabinet, I find something to help with my headache. “How are you even up right now, and where are mom and dad?”
“Well, first, I didn’t drink last night,” he says with an annoying grin. “And mom and dad left a few hours ago. They didn’t want to wake you, but they had plans to spend the day with Mr. and Mrs. Gordon on their boat.” Jason finishes his coffee and walks over to the sink to clean out the mug. “Oh yeah, mom left you some money in an envelope over there if you need it.”
My stomach drops at the mention of the Gordons, but I act like it doesn’t faze me. I pick up the envelope with my name on it and then place it back on the counter without giving it a second thought. A sigh escapes me before I ask the question that’s really on my mind. “So, how did I get home last night?”
“You really don’t remember, do you?” Jason crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“The last thing I remember is finding your car in the parking lot, and then it’s kind of fuzzy after that.” Of course, I don’t mention that I vaguely remember the conversation Nathan and I had inside Jason’s car or the fact that I basically admitted to Nathan in the bar that I wanted to have sex with him. I hold my head in embarrassment when I remember that last part.
“So …” Jason scratches his head and takes a seat at the counter before continuing. “I walked out to my car a few minutes after you had texted me and saw Nate sitting in the passenger seat with you on his lap, passed out. I didn’t know what was going on, so I was pretty pissed and started yelling at him. But then Nate explained that you might have had a few too many drinks, so I drove you both back home after he laid you down in the backseat. When we got home, he carried you up to your room. I told him to just crash here for the night since he looked pretty exhausted.” He finishes with a casual shrug.
“Wait,” I look around wide-eyed before I whisper, “he’s here?”
“Yeah, up in the guestroom. His brother just dropped off his car.” Jason gets up and puts a piece of bread in the toaster before turning around to face me. “What’s going on with the two of you anyway?”
“Nothing.” I jump off my seat and rush out of the kitchen, feeling annoyed about the situation but more with myself.
How could I have let myself drink so much after what happened last year?
I walk quietly up the stairs. The guest room door is open just a little bit, so I peek inside. I don’t see him, so I open the door further to get a better look but realize that Nathan isn’t here.
The edge of the bed creaks as I sit down and lie back, feeling frustrated that I was hoping he would still be here. I stretch my arms out above my head and let out a deep breath, becoming mesmerized by the ceiling fan above me, lost in thought.
