Page 79 of Before I Tell You


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“Ha. Ha. Very funny. We both know that’s not true since you fucking barged in on Katie and me last week, piss drunk.” There’s a look of annoyance on Paul’s face, and I sense I’m missing something.

“Hey, not my fault you didn’t lock your door. Besides, if Nate had heard those noises coming from your room, he would have done the same thing. I thought you were being attacked, for Christ’s sake.” Brian throws his hands up, exasperated.

Ok, clearly, there’s some tension between these two.

“Whatever, man.” Paul shakes his head like he’s trying to forget it and looks over at me. “What about it, Nate? You ready to get your ass kicked in an epic round of ping pong?” He rolls up his sleeves, knowing I would never deny him the game we played together almost every weekend while I was here.

* * *

An hour later, after several wins in ping pong against Paul, I head upstairs with Brian to get some air. I pull my phone out of my pocket to text Natalie, but when the screen doesn’t turn on, I realize it must have died on the ride up here. So I run up the stairs to what used to be my old room to charge my phone.

I look around the small space and notice that not much has changed. Actually, nothing has changed. It still has the same tiny mattress, dark bookcases, forest-green walls, and an ugly brown lamp that stands alone in the corner. This place isn’t much, but it was my escape. My home.

I miss going to school here with my friends. And I miss having a place like this to myself, but considering everything that’s happened this past year, I am lucky to call Boston my new home.

Besides, I would never have been given a second chance with Natalie if I still went to school here. And for that, I count my lucky stars.

I walk downstairs to see Brian standing in the kitchen talking to some girl I don’t know. His hand rests on her hip as the girl whispers in his ear. I head over to them after the girl walks away.

“Who’s she?” I ask.

“Just one of many,” he reveals. “Let’s go outside and get some air.” He turns for the door at the exact moment I notice his bloodshot eyes, which lets me know that he’s not just drunk but most likely high too.

I grab another can of beer before being greeted by a refreshing chill in the air as I step out through the back door. I sit on one of the old, rickety wooden chairs around the fire pit, hoping it doesn't crumble under my weight. As I sit back and take a sip of my drink, Brian gets the fire to a dull roar, so we have some heat. He sits on the chair beside mine and looks up to the night sky, bringing his drink to his mouth and then tossing it to the side when he's finished.

“So, Nate, how’s everything going?”

“Well, it’s certainly not what it used to be.” I rest my can on the arm of the chair. “Coming here really makes me miss this place.”

“Yeah, man, I know. I haven’t even found anyone worthy enough to take over your room,” he says with a slight laugh. “I think there’s a part of me still hoping you’ll somehow end up back here.”

“You know that’s not an option for me,” I mutter, looking up toward my old bedroom window with a pang of regret.

Brian and I became instant best friends the day he hit the kid in school who made fun of me for wearing a Red Sox shirt to class. I guess I had missed the memo that everyone in my new school was a Yankees fan. But ever since that day, almost ten years ago, Brian and I had been as close as brothers. He could sometimes be a real jerk, especially to people he didn’t like, but never to me. We were even lucky enough to get into the same college. But unfortunately, things changed.

I rub my forehead, trying to forget about the DUI.

“Hey, I almost forgot to mention. Unfortunately, it looks like I won’t be able to make it for your birthday this year. We have a home game that night, and coach will kill me if I miss it. But I was talking to Tim, and he wants to throw the traditional Halloween birthday rager at his place.” He looks over at me before continuing. “He said his parents will be out of town that weekend, so it’s perfect.”

“You know how I feel about birthdays. I really don’t need a party,” I insist, knowing deep down Brian has always just used my birthday as an excuse to throw one. And besides, after what happened last year, having a birthday party is the last thing on my mind.

“Dude, it’s your twenty-first birthday. You have to have a party. And I mean, come on, your birthday is on fucking Halloween. It’s epic. Tim’s already put in an order for kegs, and he’s insisting on costumes for everyone.”

I give him a not-so-subtle eye roll.

“I know,” he chuckles. “But his house, his rules.”

“I guess,” I say, still not sure about this.

“Paul said he’ll be there, and I’ll try to make it, but the game time is going to be cutting it kind of close.”

“Don’t even worry about it. It’s not a big deal.”

His eyebrows raise in confusion at my nonchalant expression. “Come on, man. You know it will be fucking amazing like it is every year.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right,” I agree.

“I’m just jealous I won’t be there. God, I was so fucked up last year, I barely remember it.”

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