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Shit was going to hit the fan.
I stepped off the jet and into the car. I was looking forward to going home and being ignored. If I was lucky, my parents would be somewhere, and I wouldn’t have to see them. I wasn’t sure I could look at my father just yet. I didn’t want to be the one to tell my father the marriage wasn’t going to happen. I hoped Theo got the satisfaction of telling my father he wasn’t going to fund his projects.
The next few days passed in a haze of sadness and regret. I couldn’t shake the heavy weight that had settled in my chest, and I found myself retreating into silence, shutting out the world around me. My parents had tried to talk to me, to offer comfort and guidance, but I couldn’t find the words to respond. I couldn’t tell them what happened. Not yet.
Astrid had made valiant attempts to cheer me up. Nothing worked. I didn’t want to cheer up. I wanted to sulk and be miserable. It was as though I had lost a part of myself, and the void it left behind was overwhelming. Theo’s absence weighed on me like a heavy blanket I couldn’t shake.
I missed his laughter, his warmth, and the way he looked at me. I missed the kisses and the soft touches for no reason at all. But I had chosen duty over love, and now I had to live with the consequences.
As the days passed, I couldn’t help but replay the events of that fateful interview in my mind. The way I had distanced myself from Theo, the words I had spoken, the hurt and disappointment I had seen in his eyes—it all haunted me relentlessly. I honestly couldn’t believe some of the stuff I said. It was like someone took over my body.
As I sat in my room, gazing out the window at the world beyond, I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever find a way to make things right. Even if he wouldn’t marry me, I hoped there was a chance we could be friends one day. I did care about his family. I hated to think I lost their respect. I could only imagine what they must be thinking of me.
And Victoria.
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. She was going to assume I lied when I told her I loved Theo. I hated knowing I lost the family I almost had.
53
THEO
The next few days felt like a blur to me. I tried my best to convince myself that what had transpired during Emilie’s interview was no big deal, that I was fine, and that I could easily move past it. But deep down, I knew I was only lying to myself. I was done trying to convince her love was more important than duty.
As I went through the motions, attending various social events and putting on a façade of cheerfulness, I couldn’t escape the gnawing feeling of hurt and devastation that had settled within me. I knew people were talking about it. I heard someone joke about my future wife holding my balls. She had emasculated me in front of God and everyone.
Victoria had been quick to notice the change in me.
“Don’t,” I said when she sat down.
“Too bad. You’re going to talk to me. You’ve been sulking around here for days. You’re not talking to anyone and that’s not normal. When you left the house that morning, you were happy. You were smiling and hopeful. Is this about the interview?”
“Yes.”
“You’re embarrassed,” she said.
“She could have castrated me, and it would have been less humiliating,” I muttered.
“Your masculinity is fully intact,” she said, laughing. “Everyone knows you are a macho man. You are not any less of a man than you were before you went on that show. Did she apologize?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” she said. “It was a lapse in judgment on Emilie’s part. She only wanted to please her father and ensure the well-being of her country. You can’t be mad at her for that. She is walking a fine line.”
“I called it off,” I said. “I’m not marrying her.”
“You did not!”
“I did,” I said, nodding. “I told her from the very beginning I would not be a cash cow. I’m not going to be trotted out to smile pretty for the camera while her father is rifling through my pockets for loose change. Fuck that. I’m not going to let myself be that guy. I don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life. If I marry her, I marry her fucking family.”
“Did you tell Mom and Dad?”
“No. Not yet. I keep waiting for the fucking King of Norway to show up at the door and attempt to drag me back to his cold-ass country.”
She laughed. “I don’t think that’s going to happen. You can’t not marry her.”
“The hell I can’t,” I said. “I’ve already decided. She knows it. She can tell her family. They pushed her to it. They can deal with the consequences.”
“Theo, we can all see it. She’s in love with you. And you know you’re in love with her.”
