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I almost cried. I knew he was right, but dammit, I wanted him. I was hot and wet and needed to feel him inside me.
“I want you,” he said, his voice husky with desire. “But not like this.”
I looked up at him, my eyes pleading with him to change his mind. But he was resolute.
“We’ll find a way,” he said, his hand cupping my cheek. “I promise.”
I nodded, feeling a mix of frustration and longing. I knew he was right. We couldn’t risk getting caught by my parents or anyone else. But that didn’t change the fact that I wanted him more than anything.
I went up on my toes and kissed him again. I only meant for it to be a quick kiss, but the second my lips touched his, it was forgotten.
His hands were on my hips, pulling me even closer. I moaned into his mouth, my desire for him growing stronger by the second.
Theo’s hands traveled down to my thighs, pulling me against him. My hands roamed over his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken beneath my touch.
He broke the kiss, panting heavily. “We need to stop,” he said, his eyes dark with desire. “Before we can’t.”
I nodded, reluctantly pulling away from him. His hand still tightly holding mine. We walked in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
As we emerged from the maze, my parents were waiting for us. They didn’t seem to suspect anything, but I felt guilty. We had almost gone too far, and if they had caught us? I didn’t want to think about the consequences.
“Thank you so much for an amazing dinner,” Theo said. “It’s time for me to go. I look forward to talking again.”
“It was our pleasure,” Mother said.
“I had a good feeling about you,” Father said.
“Thank you,” Theo said, nodding again.
“I’ll walk you out,” I said. I walked him to the door, stepping outside with him. “Theo, I—”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “I get it.”
I didn’t think he did, but I couldn’t explain it either. “Goodnight, Theo.”
I walked back inside, and instead of going to have a drink with my parents, I went upstairs. I needed to figure out what the hell I was doing. I didn’t want to be cruel to Theo, but nothing had changed. I had people counting on me to turn things around.
Yes, I was attracted to Theo. Yes, I could see myself falling for him, but that could get messy. And messy could jeopardize the entire match.
19
THEO
As I rode back to my family’s estate that night, the events of the evening echoed in my mind. I couldn’t shake the shock of how our encounter had unfolded, leaving me both physically and emotionally drained. And turned on.
I was glad we weren’t totally alone. I would have taken her without a second thought.
That would have been a mistake. We were still in a strange place. Just because we had physical chemistry, it didn’t mean we had a relationship. She was physically attracted to me, and I was sure she would have been happy to let me give her a couple of orgasms, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I needed all or nothing.
Maybe.
“Fuck.” I rubbed my hand over my face. I didn’t even know what I wanted.
The weight of Emilie’s plea to her father was still on constant replay in my head. I had heard her desperate words, her fervent desire to escape the impending marriage. Could I, in good conscience, proceed with a marriage that she so clearly abhorred? I didn’t want to have my bride walk down the aisle with every footstep full of dread. It seemed like a horrible way to start a marriage that was supposed to last a lifetime.
But then, there had been that electrifying moment in the garden—a kiss that had ignited a passionate fire within me. Emilie hadn’t been able to deny the desire that simmered beneath the surface. I knew I sensed it earlier, but she was hellbent on not wanting me, so I didn’t think there was a chance.
In that stolen kiss, I had felt the undeniable chemistry between us, a magnetic pull that defied the constraints of duty and obligation that she seemed so dead set on holding on to. The kissing in the garden only made things worse. It was a taste of everything I couldn’t have.
